I hope I did not put myself at risk for hiv infection

Thanks in advance for your guidnace.  I am really scared.

Here is my situation.  I met another guy through match.com.  I said in my profile I was only interested in dating hiv negative men as I am based on test reults and teh fact that I do not have unportected oral or anal sex with other men.  I went out with this guy, and we ended up open mouth kissing for about 20ish minutes over an hour period of time at the end of the date.  Because we had chemistry, the following day I sent him a thank you note.  He called me, and we talked.  I reminded him of what my profile said regarding partner hiv status, and since we had chemistry together, I needed hime to confirm with me that indeed he was negative.  He became evasive and indicated that he did not want ot talk about this over email or by phone and would meet with me next week to discuss it.  He still has not called to set up a time to meet.  So, the other component of my fear is that I had a canker sore (get them every once in a while when I am stressed out) on the bottom of my gum in the front of my mouth where the gum and very bottom of my lip connect.  As such, I do not know if he is negative or positive.  With the canker sore, I am worried that if he is positive, could the open mouth kissing create an infection opprotunity/portal of entry for hiv given that I had this canker sore?  I really am freaking out at thsi point, and would like to know whether or not this is a risk, if so, how risky is it and what are your recommendations?

Thanks so much.  I am so very appreciative of your upcoming guidance.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Before I address your question let me applaud your approach to dating.  You are doing all the right things.  Don't stop- most people DO tell the truth and sort themselves accordingly.  If your recent partner is HIV infected, his evasiveness and failure to acknowledge his infection puts him in the minority.  Most people do tell the truth.

As far as open mouth kissing, even with your canker sore, you do not need testing.  Kissing is no risk, even deep kissing and even with gum or dental disease. The quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high.  Neither of us on this site has even ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex, much less kissing.  Some sites go further and actually classify all oral sex as no risk.  While this is further than we choose to go with our recommendations, I can assure you that kissing is a no risk activity.  This includes by all of the people who had gum disease, etc.

Take care. EWH