I'm an idiot!

Hi,

Last Saturday night I had unprotected vaginal sex with a girl that I met at a bar (I'm a male). I know that I am very dumb to do this. We were both quite drunk. We probably had sex for close to an hour. I do not know her at all really. After we finished I asked her if she had anything and of course she said no. She may not even know if she had something even if she did. She told me that she just moved here to my town from another one that is about a 3 hour drive from mine and that she finished her first degree and the local university there last year (I think). She is living at her sisters place. I remember I asked her if she did this random drunk stuff a lot and she said no and that she recently got out of a relationship with a guy that she had been with for a while.

I am beating myself up over this because last year I had protected intercourse with a female escort and I freaked myself out about that. Then I go and do this idiotic act and it is all my own fault. I don't blame her for it at all. I just don't know why I would do something so stupid. I probably should get tested but I really don't wanna go through this **** again and I feel that she probably did not ahve anything and that I should be ok. Am I at a significant risk? Oh ya and by the way she told me that originally she is from Hungary. Should I get tested?

[happydaze]

OK, relax a bit.  Don't beat yourself up over this.  What's done is done.  For the record, and it sounds like you know this, but alcohol and sex never mix.  People make bad decisions under the influence.  

So you know that having had unprotected sex, you did have a risk.  There's no way around that.  It is very likely and the odds are in your favor that she is negative and that you are fine.  However, you had a real risk and should test to know your status.  A conclusive test would be 3 months past the event.  All of the other information about her living at her sister's house, etc., is irrelevant.  That she is from Hungary is also irrelevant.  People are not risky, behaviors are risky.  In the future make sure you correctly and consistently use condoms for vaginal/anal intercourse.  Everytime, no exceptions until such time as you are in a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who is conclusively negative.  If you do that, you can expect to avoid HIV infection.  

So wait until three months after this incident and test.  You're likely to be negative.  While you are at it, you should have a full STD panel.  People who are sexually active should get an STD panel, including HIV at least once a year.  It's part of being a mature, responsible, sexually active adult.  Get productively busy in the meantime.  

[ScaredinCanada471]

Ok thank you for the reply. Condoms are essential I do really realize that now. I just hope that this one time exposure will not be one that may end my life. I will test for HIV at the three month mark.

Should I go and get tested for other STD's in the meantime though? Or just waite until I got for my HIV test and get them all doen at once.

[happydaze]

Yes, you do not have to wait three months to test for the other stds.  You should be ok to test now.  The only exception is syphilis which shares a 3 month window with HIV.

[ScaredinCanada471]

ALright thatnks for the help. It really is appreciated.

[ScaredinCanada471]

Sorry to bother you again everyone but I am really scared still. I ended up talking to the girl I had sex with unprotected and I ended up asking her is she was clean when we were sober over msn. This was her reply ''I sure hope so...I was with the same guy for a long time''. What the hell does that mean? SHe then said ''don't worry''. I told her I was going to go get tested (I didn't day what exactly for) and she said ''well do what ya gotta do...but your fine''.

How should I interpret this? SHould I be calm from what she told me? I am still freaking out here!

[ScaredinCanada471]

Oh sorry and by the way she said that her ex bf was also an alcoholic. And that she didn't drink much because she did nto like to encourage him. I don't know if that matters or not.

[dave1973]

your question was answered. Any more questions can only be irrelevant and paranoid.

[happydaze]

First:  clean is not a term that you should use to say that someone is HIV negative.  It's offensive.  I know many people who are HIV positive and I would venture to bet they are cleaner than you or your girl friend.

Second:  There is not much more that anyone on this board can do about you begin scared.  You were told that you had a risk.  It was probably a small one.  And that you need to test three months out to have a conclusive result regarding HIV.  

You can't interpret anything she told you.  Not even sure that that means.  Stop worrying yourself over a small risk and get tested.  In the meantime get productively busy.  That's about it. What more do you think anyone here can do for you???

[ScaredinCanada471]

Alright I'm sorry. Thanks guys I will do my very best to stop worrying and just do it.