Insertive oral with HIV+

I recently engaged in heavy kissing and unprotected oral sex (I received the oral sex and was the insertive partner. No cuts on the penis or in the mouth I believe.) from an HIV+ male. He did not inform me of his status until 3 days later and replied to my worries by saying that he didn't put me at any risk. However, I have been very worried since. I am already an extremely anxious person and it is bothering me greatly that I may have been infected in such an unethical manner. Most sources/websites say this is low risk/practically no risk but I don't know what to believe. Have you ever had a case like mine where the person ends up positive? I feel like I am infected and feel guilty going on dates or potentially engaging in sexual activity with others.

Is this worth me even getting tested? I feel as though I will be even more psychologically disrupted if there's a false positive reading or a true positive. I just feel so guilty about the whole situation. I should have asked if he was positive. I never would have thought someone would do this to me. I've never even given oral sex or had anal/vaginal sex in my life.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum.  Knowing that you have recently had close contact with an HIV infected person can certainly be disconcerting.  the activities that you describe did not put you at risk for HIV.   As I just told the client prior to you- "The issue of the safety (or risk) of HIV relating to oral sex is a topic we receive many questions about.  The fact remains that despite intensive research and the vigilance of many health care providers taking care of literally millions of persons with and at risk for HIV, there are NO instances in which HIV has clearly been transmitted through oral sex.  I repeat, none. And this is the case despite that fact that there are many, many persons who only practice oral sex with new or infected partners.  The presence of oral sores, gum disease, cavities, etc does not change this fact.  The oral cavity is a hostile environment for potential pathogens being full of antibodies, enzymes and other infection fighting elements of host defense.  When material passes from the mouth to the stomach, the environment for the pathogen only becomes more hostile due to stomach acid, etc."  

Bottom line, you do not need testing for the exposures that you describe. Going forward, asking partners if they are infected or not would be a good idea, particularly if you are going to be having new partners.  

Take care. EWH