Is this a risk for HIV infection?

I am dating an HIV+ man.  I am an HIV- man.  Recently, we made out (open-mouth kissed) off and on for an hour.  The side of my tongue was a bit sore though I could not see a sore on it.  I had a tiny sore that hurt the day before on the inside of my upper lip.  The sore was barely visible/nearly invisible the day of the kissing and was not painful.  I also have slight bleeding when I brush my teeth.  I had not brushed my teeth for some 5 - 6 hours prior to the kissing.  Since my mouth was not in perfect condition, does this represent a risk for hiv infection?  I am such a careful person about sexual matters this has got me very, very stressed out.

Also, when it comes to oral sex, is there a risk for me if he as an HIV positive male performs oral sex on me?

Thanks so much for your help.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum. With respect you your first question there is nothing to worry about.  HIV has never been transmitted by kissing. This is the case irrespective of whether or not you or your partner have sores on your mouth or less than optimal gum health.

As for oral sex, the quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner (giving or receiving)  is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex.  Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex so at most this is a very, very rare occurrence. .  This also  includes by all of the people who had gum disease, etc.

Hope these comments are helpful to you.  EWH