I've been extremely foolish - I hope I dont pay the price

Hi Doctor

I'm terrified that I have stupidly put myself at risk and I need some reassurance between now and my test which is still 2 weeks away.

Almost 2 weeks ago, I got extremely drunk and ended up with another man. I briefly allowed him to penetrate me without a condom and although he was very gently it was painful and he stopped after about a minute. This is the first time I have ever had anal sex and it will definitely be the last and only the 4th time I have ever been with another man.

I do not know this man or his sexual history and I now have two weeks of torment before I can take the 28 day test.

What are my chances of being infected, based on the briefness of the penetration (if that even makes a difference).

I do also have a long-term partner but I will be using condoms until I have the results of the hiv test and a full screen for all other sti's/std's.

Any hope anyone can give, especially from people who have been in the same situation would be greatly appreciated. At this point, I genuinly dont know how I am going to make it through the next 2 weeks, I barely made it through today without breaking down. If any good does come of this it will be to make me realise that my stupid actions do have consequences and once the tests are over I am going to seek counselling for my other problems.

Thanks

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You asked for assurance and I can give it to you, providing you with the statistics which are very much in your favor.  Here are the facts:

1.  chances are that your partner did not have HIV.  Most men who have sex with other men do not have HIV.
2.  Even if he did, the likelihood of getting HIV from a single rectal exposure is less than 1 infection per 100 exposures.  There are no data regarding whether or not the duration of exposure is a factor in transmission or not but the chances are the shorter the exposure, the less likely you are to become infected.

Putting these facts together, you can see that on a statistical basis your chances of infection are already less than 1 in 1000 and probably lower still.  

You did not mention whether you otherwise know you partner or not or how to reach him.  If you did, you might be able to relieve some of your concerns further by contacting him,. asking him about his status and asking if he would be willing to get tested. If his tests negative now, you have not been exposed to HIV than therefore have no risk.

Hope these comments are helpful.   EWH

[james_mairn]

Hi Doctor,

Thanks for your kind words of reassurance, I decided to go home for the weekend to spend time for your family and your response certainly helped to relax (sort of) oer the weekend.

Since I am still almost 2 weeks away from being able to take any kind of conclusive test I still find each day to be a battle with my fears and anxieties so I was wondering if I could ask another couple of questions.

Since Friday, (almost 2 weeks since exposure) I have noticed swollen glands in my neck, more prominent on my right side. What are the chances that someone with HIV would get swollen glands and no other symptoms during the window period? I also dont appear to have swollen glands anywhere else other than my neck (although I could be looking in the wrong places)

Also, in your experience (or opinion), how likely is it that if my partner knew they were infected they would put another human being at risk by not using protection. I couldn't do that to someone else but as decent as the other guy seemed, I don't know anything about him.

Sorry to be a pain.

James

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Swollen lymph nodes are a totally non-specific finidng and typically have nor ealtionship to HIV, particularly in the absence of other symptoms.  My advice is to stop searching for abnormalities and swollen glands.  As I mentioned, the odds are very much in your favor.

I wish I could state that everyone with HIV would discolose to their partners.  Sadly that is not the case.  Some persons practice a "not asked, didn't tell" approach while others are unaware of their statis.  EWH