Aa
Just a little encouragement please
Alright, Im not going to freak out again I promise. I have been having a few concerns as of lately because of some wierd skin things that I have noticed. I won't go in to detail, because I don't want to obsess. I was just hoping for some feedback. How confident should I be in this 5 month negative oraquick test I took? I believe I am fine. I just need you guys to help me fight off the "what if" demons for a few days until I go take my 6 month test. After that, I am through. If I get a negative at that point, I am never going to test again unless I mess up and do something stupid again ( and I won't). Help me folks. What do you all think of the chances of my test turning on me at this point? Is it possible? Why in the hell is there so many places that say 6 months?
At this point I don't think its conclusive until you test positive. Maybe 20 years or something. IM kidding!
I think I'm gonna cry...*sniff*
Seriously though, good post, I think I'm gonna try it when I get into an uncomfortable situation or I'm around somebody I want to kill. It's difficult for a guy though, because it's not seen as 'manly', being nice around assholes and bltches.
Also, I've found laughing at the absurd works too. And prayer. Maybe that's why I'm not in prison right now. Yeah, talk about worrying about AIDS...lol
Seriously though, good post, I think I'm gonna try it when I get into an uncomfortable situation or I'm around somebody I want to kill. It's difficult for a guy though, because it's not seen as 'manly', being nice around assholes and bltches.
Also, I've found laughing at the absurd works too. And prayer. Maybe that's why I'm not in prison right now. Yeah, talk about worrying about AIDS...lol
I've used that many times in my own life, the most recent being when I moved here to SoCal. I hated my job here at this hospital, pretty much despised the doctors, the unit policies, and couldn't have cared less for what I perceived as the cliques of nurses who openly sneered at an East Coaster.
So I acted as if I loved it here. I made a point to talk to the girls I really didn't like, ask about their families, joked around in my peekawho way, smiled, offered to help when I could...its just all about attitude.
I adore the girls I work with now. I wish I could say I love the place I'm working at, but at least I don't openly hate it. I'm ok, and I'll remain ok.
So I acted as if I loved it here. I made a point to talk to the girls I really didn't like, ask about their families, joked around in my peekawho way, smiled, offered to help when I could...its just all about attitude.
I adore the girls I work with now. I wish I could say I love the place I'm working at, but at least I don't openly hate it. I'm ok, and I'll remain ok.
You know what peek, that was an awesome post. Thank yo so much for that. U know what, I wll take your advice. I think that could apply to many facets of life. Its so funny that you say what you did to me at this time. I was sitting outside and one of my neighbors, a very attractive girl, came up to me and just said, what is the matter with you. I was like, wow is it that obvious that something is bothering me. You know since I have been seperated, I have actually been much more clear headed and optomistic. Just having a bad day today I guess.
I really wish I knew how to express my appreciation more for your post peek, but all I can do is say thank you and that I really will try your advice.
Have a great night my awesome friend.
I really wish I knew how to express my appreciation more for your post peek, but all I can do is say thank you and that I really will try your advice.
Have a great night my awesome friend.
Stop giving a disease so much power over you. Take back your power.
Here's a tip that a very, very old nurse gave me back when I was a nurses aide at 18 in a nursing home. I was working in the worst area of the home, where they keep the most horrible cases, people who eat their feces, smear them, are pretty much insane all the time. We had to feed them, dress them, and sit them in the day room every day. After the 2nd day, I went to this nurse, crying that I hated it and couldn't do it. She gave me this advice that has gotten me through a lot of tough times.
If you are in a situation and don't like it, ACT as if you do like it. Try it just for a week. She told me to go in every day with a smile on my face, hug the residents of the unit, giggle with them, and ACT as though it was the best job in the world. To act until I could get an academy award. I thought she was insane, but as I needed the job to get through nursing school, I tried it.
FFP, it was very hard. But I went around acting as though I loved these people that repulsed and frightened me. I bathed them and cared for them, and fed them as though they were my very own parents. You know what? After a bit, it became the truth. I learned their names, their histories, learned that they never had family coming to see them, nothing. We arranged birthday parties, brought our dogs and cats in to visit, and just basically started treating them with honor and respect, and joy.
What I'm asking you to do is what that nurse asked me to try. ACT as though you are not afraid of HIV. Do not come back here, unless it is to offer kind and supporting words to the ones who haven't come as far as you. ACT each day confidently, as if you are not fearing "the dreadful disease". Part of acting this way is to stop examining your body. Pretend you are going for an academy award for NOT being afraid of this disease. ACT as though you are confident, strong, and healthy.
For you see, my friend...when you ACT AS IF, you eventually BECOME. I acted as if I loved those old people, and eventually I did! Please, each day, act as if you are not afraid.
I feel a special connection to you. You seem salvagable. I hate that you are giving up your power to a disease. To a virus. THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE.
Here's a tip that a very, very old nurse gave me back when I was a nurses aide at 18 in a nursing home. I was working in the worst area of the home, where they keep the most horrible cases, people who eat their feces, smear them, are pretty much insane all the time. We had to feed them, dress them, and sit them in the day room every day. After the 2nd day, I went to this nurse, crying that I hated it and couldn't do it. She gave me this advice that has gotten me through a lot of tough times.
If you are in a situation and don't like it, ACT as if you do like it. Try it just for a week. She told me to go in every day with a smile on my face, hug the residents of the unit, giggle with them, and ACT as though it was the best job in the world. To act until I could get an academy award. I thought she was insane, but as I needed the job to get through nursing school, I tried it.
FFP, it was very hard. But I went around acting as though I loved these people that repulsed and frightened me. I bathed them and cared for them, and fed them as though they were my very own parents. You know what? After a bit, it became the truth. I learned their names, their histories, learned that they never had family coming to see them, nothing. We arranged birthday parties, brought our dogs and cats in to visit, and just basically started treating them with honor and respect, and joy.
What I'm asking you to do is what that nurse asked me to try. ACT as though you are not afraid of HIV. Do not come back here, unless it is to offer kind and supporting words to the ones who haven't come as far as you. ACT each day confidently, as if you are not fearing "the dreadful disease". Part of acting this way is to stop examining your body. Pretend you are going for an academy award for NOT being afraid of this disease. ACT as though you are confident, strong, and healthy.
For you see, my friend...when you ACT AS IF, you eventually BECOME. I acted as if I loved those old people, and eventually I did! Please, each day, act as if you are not afraid.
I feel a special connection to you. You seem salvagable. I hate that you are giving up your power to a disease. To a virus. THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE.
Yah, I think I will peek. I can't live like this forever. You know I have come a long way with this. Im not freaking out anymore, its just that it gets so tough to think about anything else when you are getting ready to go for a test. 6 months of my life has been given to this dam disease whether I have it or not, and the only way it will take any more from me is if I do have it. I have learned to feel deeply for the people who come here with their fears. There arent too many greater terrors that I can think of. Here you have the mixture of the unknown and death. No fun whatsoever.
If your test at 5 months wass negative, there is no way it will change at 6 months, and you know that as well as I do.
6 months is old info. The people that use that info are either behind the times, or just using an extreme CYA attitude that is purely legalistic in nature.
Stop it right now. Weird skin things have NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with HIV for you. You are already conclusively negative. Your test will not change. You better start planning for after the 6 months, b/c you may not be able to let this go even then.
6 months is old info. The people that use that info are either behind the times, or just using an extreme CYA attitude that is purely legalistic in nature.
Stop it right now. Weird skin things have NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with HIV for you. You are already conclusively negative. Your test will not change. You better start planning for after the 6 months, b/c you may not be able to let this go even then.
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