Aa
Just looking for serious / expert advice
OK, I know that having symptoms or ARS / HIV or lack of means nothing. Without getting into specifics and I will get testest a 6 weeks and 12 weeks (about 2.5 now). But I am looking for serious / honest advice.
Everything I have felt up to this point I know was nothing but stress and anxiety. So I am OK and past that, but at exactly 10 days I started getting rashes and I will try to explain.
I have felt itchy in various places of my body, and I think it started before my risk, but not 100% certain at this time, but exaclty 10 days I got 2 rashes (I think). It started as an itchy / irration that eventually turned read with what I would call a pimple or maybe a mosquito bite. It started on my left arm them my left waiste (the first day - 10 days post my risk) and went away in about an hour or two. I forgot about it until 2 days later I got 2 more, then the next day 2 more. Than nothing until today I had 3.
Now to try to explain.
As I mentioned, I have had this itchy feelings, and to keep things in persective, I have had stress and anxiety over this exposure (although I can't remember these rashes with past experiences). It has also been very hot / humid here and I do not have an AC so I am sure that is part of it.
Now my rashes, as I mentioned, it's like 1 at a time, they come and go (don't last more than 2 hours) and there is a red / irratation in the area, and a pimple like raise on the skin. For the most part it has been on the upper body, 1 around my calf.
Again, I know I can have all the ARS/HIV symptoms or none and it doesn't mean anything, but I am looking for info on ARS/HIV rashes.
I will get tested at 6 weeks as well as 12 weeks because that is the only way to know, but I am looking for honest / expert opinions.
A little more about my partner. We talked about STDs / HIV before sex, and while I was 100% certain of my status, he also said he was 100% clean, meaning no STDS and HIV negative. We talked about it afterwards, and he continures to assure me it was safe. In fact we still talk every couple of days and he tells me how much he misses me, how much he wants to see me, and pretty much told me he is in love with me. In regard to sex, he said it would always be up to me. Meaning if I insist he uses condoms he will as long as I want. He also has invited me over, multiple times, wanting to make me dinner spoil me, and if sex happens great, if not, that is OK to. He hs also said things like he wants to wake up next to me and spoil me by making me breakfast, etc.
So the bottom line, I consider his status unknown. Depsite what he has says, and during all of this, the only odd thing I have experienced is the rashes.
What I know, I need to get tested at 6 and 12 weeks and there is nothing I can do until then, but based on experience, etc. What do you think?
Everything I have felt up to this point I know was nothing but stress and anxiety. So I am OK and past that, but at exactly 10 days I started getting rashes and I will try to explain.
I have felt itchy in various places of my body, and I think it started before my risk, but not 100% certain at this time, but exaclty 10 days I got 2 rashes (I think). It started as an itchy / irration that eventually turned read with what I would call a pimple or maybe a mosquito bite. It started on my left arm them my left waiste (the first day - 10 days post my risk) and went away in about an hour or two. I forgot about it until 2 days later I got 2 more, then the next day 2 more. Than nothing until today I had 3.
Now to try to explain.
As I mentioned, I have had this itchy feelings, and to keep things in persective, I have had stress and anxiety over this exposure (although I can't remember these rashes with past experiences). It has also been very hot / humid here and I do not have an AC so I am sure that is part of it.
Now my rashes, as I mentioned, it's like 1 at a time, they come and go (don't last more than 2 hours) and there is a red / irratation in the area, and a pimple like raise on the skin. For the most part it has been on the upper body, 1 around my calf.
Again, I know I can have all the ARS/HIV symptoms or none and it doesn't mean anything, but I am looking for info on ARS/HIV rashes.
I will get tested at 6 weeks as well as 12 weeks because that is the only way to know, but I am looking for honest / expert opinions.
A little more about my partner. We talked about STDs / HIV before sex, and while I was 100% certain of my status, he also said he was 100% clean, meaning no STDS and HIV negative. We talked about it afterwards, and he continures to assure me it was safe. In fact we still talk every couple of days and he tells me how much he misses me, how much he wants to see me, and pretty much told me he is in love with me. In regard to sex, he said it would always be up to me. Meaning if I insist he uses condoms he will as long as I want. He also has invited me over, multiple times, wanting to make me dinner spoil me, and if sex happens great, if not, that is OK to. He hs also said things like he wants to wake up next to me and spoil me by making me breakfast, etc.
So the bottom line, I consider his status unknown. Depsite what he has says, and during all of this, the only odd thing I have experienced is the rashes.
What I know, I need to get tested at 6 and 12 weeks and there is nothing I can do until then, but based on experience, etc. What do you think?
To be honest, this is reality.
1) I can't change the past
2) I had a real risk
3) No matter what, my parnters status is "unknown"
4) The only way I can know my status is to get a conclusive test
5) My #1 priority is knowing my status / health so I can make sure I am doing the right things to keep me healthy
6) Along with #5, I am sure I would feel much worse, and it would be much harder to deal with, if I had HIV, didn't know I had it, and passed it on to someone else.
So yes, I will be OK regardless of my results, becuase the most important thing right nowis knowing my status.
And no, I am not a woman, I am a gay male. Guts, we'll well see when I get tested and hear my results, but I am trying to keep things in perspective, that's all.
1) I can't change the past
2) I had a real risk
3) No matter what, my parnters status is "unknown"
4) The only way I can know my status is to get a conclusive test
5) My #1 priority is knowing my status / health so I can make sure I am doing the right things to keep me healthy
6) Along with #5, I am sure I would feel much worse, and it would be much harder to deal with, if I had HIV, didn't know I had it, and passed it on to someone else.
So yes, I will be OK regardless of my results, becuase the most important thing right nowis knowing my status.
And no, I am not a woman, I am a gay male. Guts, we'll well see when I get tested and hear my results, but I am trying to keep things in perspective, that's all.
You'll be ok regardless of the results?????????????
I don't know who you are, but I admire your gusto. I'm assuming your a woman, but you could be a man. Point is you have guts. If I had that kind of thinking I would be a much happier person right now.
I don't know who you are, but I admire your gusto. I'm assuming your a woman, but you could be a man. Point is you have guts. If I had that kind of thinking I would be a much happier person right now.
Just a quick update. I decided what the hell and in politically correct (trying not to be too offensive) way I suggested getting tested together. The answer was simple, he first said he knows it's a trust issue, which of course it is, for me it's more in general, not specific to him, but it is a trust issue. He then followed up with (we are both at work now - so this was through email) lets talk this evening on the phone and setup a date and time to get tested, get some home access kits, etc.
Lizzie: Sorry I wasn't clear on that comment, from past experiences, I did not mean unsafe sex, I mean anything (i.e. allergy, stress, heat, etc). I have only had unprotected sex once and it will remain a one time only thing for me. Sorry if I gave you or anyone the impression that I am unsafe and/or putting myself or others at risk. But to answer your general question, since I am going through this now, I absolutely would do everything to protect myself and/or partner if I am ever in an "unknown" status like I currently am.
Joey/Joe: I had thought about it but not sure. What I mean is that before this happened, I did have feelings and was starting a relationship and without getting into the details as to how the unprotected sex happened, since that, I have been completely turned off by him and have no interest in seeing him (socially or sexually). Part of it is if he declines, that's a huge red flag. If he accepts that should be a good sign but I also know he would expect that we would give things another shot, etc. after the testing and I don't want to lead him on or go down that road again. I also know that if he had a recent exposure prior to our encounter his test result might not be accurate either.
Peekawho: You are right and for the most part I have been keeping myself busy and occupied so I am not thinking about it. But sometimes it can be a bit difficult as I am sure most people could imagine, but I have been plugging along and doing very well. And of course, the best advice, was my own, as you pointed out.
Joey/Joe: I had thought about it but not sure. What I mean is that before this happened, I did have feelings and was starting a relationship and without getting into the details as to how the unprotected sex happened, since that, I have been completely turned off by him and have no interest in seeing him (socially or sexually). Part of it is if he declines, that's a huge red flag. If he accepts that should be a good sign but I also know he would expect that we would give things another shot, etc. after the testing and I don't want to lead him on or go down that road again. I also know that if he had a recent exposure prior to our encounter his test result might not be accurate either.
Peekawho: You are right and for the most part I have been keeping myself busy and occupied so I am not thinking about it. But sometimes it can be a bit difficult as I am sure most people could imagine, but I have been plugging along and doing very well. And of course, the best advice, was my own, as you pointed out.
Rashes mean nothing. Take a test at the appropriate time, and try to think about something else in the meantime.
Follow your own advice:
"3) Until I get a conclusive test, there is no use in guess or stressing about what my status is."
Follow your own advice:
"3) Until I get a conclusive test, there is no use in guess or stressing about what my status is."
i agree with regularjoey. thats the point instead of you waiting 12/13 weeks long take him with you and let him get tested. that for sure you will really know if he's got it or not.
If your partner "loves" you so much, why don't you bring him with you to get a rapid test? This way instead of waiting 12 weeks you'll need to wait 20 minutes.
you state above: (although i can't remember these rashes from past experiences)...so does this mean that you continue to put yourself at risk by not using condoms? have you tested out to 3 months EVERY time you have had unprotected sex BEFORE having unprotected sex again? if not...you may be putting someone else at risk, since during this time your status is unknown. how can you be sure that each partner you've had unprotected sex with has tested out EVERY time they have had unprotected sex before having it again? isn't the risk of getting HIV enough to make you use a condom EVERY single time you have sex?
There are a few things I know for certain:
1) I had the highest risk (unprotected anal - receptive)
2) No matter what my partner says, his status is "uncertain"
3) Until I get a conclusive test, there is no use in guess or stressing about what my status is.
The day after, I was very stressed out and anxiety was at it's peak. I had tightness of the chest, tightness of the throat, sore throat and headache. All things I feel when I am really stessted out.
The rashes puzzle me, but I know I could have every single symptom or ARS and/or HIV and be negative, or I could have absolutely no symptoms and be positive.
What I know, for a fact, until I can get a conclusive test there is not use guessing or stressing about anything, but ot be honest, at times it can be tough. I think I am handling it well (the stress symptoms passed about 2 - 3 days after this encounter and have not come back).
What I also know:
1) If I get into a situation where sex is a possibility, I will tell any potential partner about my last experience (and to be honest, there was one, and I told him, and he was OK with it - meaning he said he would have sex with me, he thinks I will be OK (no idea why he thinks that) and he is not "afraid" of me, so to speak, so that is a good sign.
2) I will get tested for STDs and HIV at 6 weeks, and assuming the results are negative, I will get retested at 12 weeks.
It has definately been difficult, and ot be honest, while I like to drink socially, I have been drinking (alochol of course) more often. Not to the point to get buzzed or trashed, and I know overall it does not help, alcohol can being on it's own set of problems, but it has helped me sleep better and aside from those rashes, I haven't really thought about it. I did make notes on my calendar at the 6, 12 and 6 month marks to get tested (not that I'd forget) but for the most part I am feeling great (again aside from the rashes).
I haven't posted here in awhile, and did read quite a bit, which gave me a good laugh. Not to name names, but when somone freaks out and posts because they fingered someone for half a second and think they are HIV positive, well come on, get real. Or when someone says they had a "risk" 2 years a ago and tested negative last week (2 weeks after their risk) and they are still concerned, again, come on. It's just too funny as I would love to swap places with anyone of them.
But I am realistice. I had the highest risk, there is no way I can no if my partner was truthful (he swears he never had an STD and is HIV negative as of 6/26, no expsure for most of the year, tells me (as of yesterday) how much he misses me, how much he wants to see me, how much he wants to spoil me by making me dinner, and how much he wants to work through my "anxiety" over all of this, etc). Everything he says is encouraging, but I am not going to trust him enough to not get tested.
So the end result is I will get tested at 6 weeks, 12 weeks and possibly 3 months, depending on how the previous test results are.
I am quite amazed that it's almost 3 weeks now as the first few days seemed to creep and now it's like, wow, it's been 3 weeks, but the next 3 weeks will be slow, although when the 6 week mark hits I am sure I will think the same. And at least then I will have a good idea on how I will be,
I have even come to terms, regardless of what the results are, things will be just fine. Negative? That goes without saying. Positive, at least I will know and can get the medical care I need and do everything to keep myself in great health and keep any future partner the same way.
So thanks again for the response, I know that there is really nothing I can do until I can get tested, but it helps, and like I said, I am pretty surprised how well I am handling this.
1) I had the highest risk (unprotected anal - receptive)
2) No matter what my partner says, his status is "uncertain"
3) Until I get a conclusive test, there is no use in guess or stressing about what my status is.
The day after, I was very stressed out and anxiety was at it's peak. I had tightness of the chest, tightness of the throat, sore throat and headache. All things I feel when I am really stessted out.
The rashes puzzle me, but I know I could have every single symptom or ARS and/or HIV and be negative, or I could have absolutely no symptoms and be positive.
What I know, for a fact, until I can get a conclusive test there is not use guessing or stressing about anything, but ot be honest, at times it can be tough. I think I am handling it well (the stress symptoms passed about 2 - 3 days after this encounter and have not come back).
What I also know:
1) If I get into a situation where sex is a possibility, I will tell any potential partner about my last experience (and to be honest, there was one, and I told him, and he was OK with it - meaning he said he would have sex with me, he thinks I will be OK (no idea why he thinks that) and he is not "afraid" of me, so to speak, so that is a good sign.
2) I will get tested for STDs and HIV at 6 weeks, and assuming the results are negative, I will get retested at 12 weeks.
It has definately been difficult, and ot be honest, while I like to drink socially, I have been drinking (alochol of course) more often. Not to the point to get buzzed or trashed, and I know overall it does not help, alcohol can being on it's own set of problems, but it has helped me sleep better and aside from those rashes, I haven't really thought about it. I did make notes on my calendar at the 6, 12 and 6 month marks to get tested (not that I'd forget) but for the most part I am feeling great (again aside from the rashes).
I haven't posted here in awhile, and did read quite a bit, which gave me a good laugh. Not to name names, but when somone freaks out and posts because they fingered someone for half a second and think they are HIV positive, well come on, get real. Or when someone says they had a "risk" 2 years a ago and tested negative last week (2 weeks after their risk) and they are still concerned, again, come on. It's just too funny as I would love to swap places with anyone of them.
But I am realistice. I had the highest risk, there is no way I can no if my partner was truthful (he swears he never had an STD and is HIV negative as of 6/26, no expsure for most of the year, tells me (as of yesterday) how much he misses me, how much he wants to see me, how much he wants to spoil me by making me dinner, and how much he wants to work through my "anxiety" over all of this, etc). Everything he says is encouraging, but I am not going to trust him enough to not get tested.
So the end result is I will get tested at 6 weeks, 12 weeks and possibly 3 months, depending on how the previous test results are.
I am quite amazed that it's almost 3 weeks now as the first few days seemed to creep and now it's like, wow, it's been 3 weeks, but the next 3 weeks will be slow, although when the 6 week mark hits I am sure I will think the same. And at least then I will have a good idea on how I will be,
I have even come to terms, regardless of what the results are, things will be just fine. Negative? That goes without saying. Positive, at least I will know and can get the medical care I need and do everything to keep myself in great health and keep any future partner the same way.
So thanks again for the response, I know that there is really nothing I can do until I can get tested, but it helps, and like I said, I am pretty surprised how well I am handling this.
I am sorry not to be able to add more advice than you already know yourself.
Test at 6 weeks then at 12. That 2nd one will be conclusive.
I am uncertain of what your exposure was but I will say that the anxiety of everyone on here - however low the risk - is very real to them! Believe me, I know.
And rashes come and go for all sorts of reasons. I have one too and mine sounds worse than yours! So there! ;-) I tested negative at 6 weeks, so its probably an allergic reaction to some antibiotics I was on. Or something.
But you know about symptoms not being a reliable indicator of ARS, right?
So, if you think you're handling the anxiety and stress well enough, then continue doing what you have been doing.
Take care.
Test at 6 weeks then at 12. That 2nd one will be conclusive.
I am uncertain of what your exposure was but I will say that the anxiety of everyone on here - however low the risk - is very real to them! Believe me, I know.
And rashes come and go for all sorts of reasons. I have one too and mine sounds worse than yours! So there! ;-) I tested negative at 6 weeks, so its probably an allergic reaction to some antibiotics I was on. Or something.
But you know about symptoms not being a reliable indicator of ARS, right?
So, if you think you're handling the anxiety and stress well enough, then continue doing what you have been doing.
Take care.
BTW, reading most of the posts here, people have had 0 risk and freak out. I think for the most part I am handling it well and will be OK regardless of the results.
I will post updates when I get tested and hope to continue the trend, despite my high risk, that I will be OK, but to be honest, it is a complete unknown.
This wednesday will be 3 weeks, so I am looking to get tested around September 5th (6 week) and aisde from this thread will not post or comment on othe threads. But I want to let everyone know how things turn out,
As everyone knows, the hardest part is waiting, but to be honest, it seems like 90+% of the posts here are such ******** (no risk) that I wish could trade places with anyone here.
I will post updates when I get tested and hope to continue the trend, despite my high risk, that I will be OK, but to be honest, it is a complete unknown.
This wednesday will be 3 weeks, so I am looking to get tested around September 5th (6 week) and aisde from this thread will not post or comment on othe threads. But I want to let everyone know how things turn out,
As everyone knows, the hardest part is waiting, but to be honest, it seems like 90+% of the posts here are such ******** (no risk) that I wish could trade places with anyone here.
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