Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Menstrual Blood

I ask this question before but just verifying, since my ocd is kicking in pretty good.  I had protected vaginal sex with a girl.  I also performed oral sex on her and fingered her.  The lights were out so had no clue what was going on.  When we got done I was straightening out the sheets and noticed three smear marks on the sheets of what looked like blood.  She could have been on her period.  It could have been mine, dont know.  I always think about worse case scenerios.  Do I need a test?  This sort of thing always happens to me.  I used a condom and now this.  
15 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Just so I can fully understand the issue, you say: "If I seek counseling, I lose my job." What, exactly, does this mean? Specifically, do you have a security clearance and are afraid to have to bring this up on a reexamination?  If so, I urge you to speak to someone, such as your security officer, who might be able to help disabuse you of this notion. If not, I am curious what kind of job you have that would prevent you from seeking the help you need.

Just so you know, will typically manifest in the later teenage years, and grow worse over time without treatment. There may be periods that are worse than others, and that has been the case for me. I walked around for years, from late teens to middle twenties, not knowing why I felt compelled to do certain things. In fact, I didn't even think it was all that strange - I just knew I had to perform some ritual act to quell my anxiety, and I did. It was only in my middle twenties when the whole thing became a huge frustrating mess, and I felt then that something might be going on. As I hit my thirties, things just got worse and worse, to the point where my quality of life was being seriously and negatively impacted. Then, the HIV scare, and the visit to the therapist and here I am today, feeling better.

You should know that OCD happens to a lot of different people, and has nothing to do with intelligence or mental strength. There are different approaches to treating it, most traditional, some not, and several protocols have shown promise in helping people. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of those treatments, and people will also sometimes take prescription medications. The point is, you don't have to live with this if you don't want to, ocd. It obviously is seriously degrading the quality of your life, so don't be facile about this. You frame it as if it is a binary choice: your treatment or your job. You should investigate whether that really is the case - I bet it is not.

Having said that, it is not unheard of for people to reject the treatment angle and do things on their own. In many cases, the strategy is to accept the feelings of anxiety that come with not doing the rituals, and then dealing with them. Easier said than done, I know, but not impossible.

If nothing else, it is good that you recognize that you real problem is OCD, and hypochondria (an OCD related mental condition), and not HIV. That is a significant thing, believe it or not. Many people cannot get past the manifestation of OCD (in cases you will see in this forum, extreme HIV anxiety and fear) to the root cause. It seems you have done this, and that's a big first step.

Good luck to you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks, if I do seek counseling I will lose my job.  I am going to have to beat OCD on my own.  I am getting better, I think.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have you ever tried therapy? It seems like OCD is really taking its toll on your life. We only get one shot at it and I'm sorry you're having so much trouble enjoying it, because that's what our time here seems to be for.
If you are getting anxious about using public restrooms and the threat of disease, you really need professional help. Please, please do not take this as overt criticism. I mean it in the best possible way. Something in your mind is driving you to dark corners of irrationality and you need to find out why this is happening to you. For your own good. And the fact that you consider yourself intelligent, I have no reason to dispute that, but sometimes intelligence can be a handicap, as it allows people to follow complicated - and often highly unrealistic - thought processes - that ultimately and inevitably lead to despair and helplessness.

Please seek help. It's not a sign of weakness and I promise you that things can get better; it is unfair on yourself to keep suffering like this.

And again, HIV is not an issue here:)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks, I too would like to learn to meditate.  I just read his original post to Doctor H.  He makes a lot of good points, and he seemed as worried as I do.  Its weird, but things like this always seem to happen to me.  Maybe I am looking for it.  I mean, I walk into a public restroom.  To most a harmless routine.  I walk in, take a leak, then notice blood everywhere.  Now, really, if someone was bleeding, they probably touched the doorknob to open the bathroom, right.  What if they did it right before me.  Then I touch it, then go to the bathroom.  Let alone you usually touch your genitals, going to the bathroom, right.  What if it got into a cut?  Just an example of why I think the way I do, and the stuff that happens to me.  I consider myself very intelligent but am trying to learn to live with OCD.  It just started about 5 years ago, although its a 24/7 daily deal.  I am learning real fast about mental problems and how people can actual confine themselves to their houses.  I mean for someone like me to get OCD or to deal with a mental problem, is that last thing I ever thought would happen to me.  Its kind of weird.  It already ruined my marriage and career, but am getting back in the swing of things.  I always thought I was mentally strong and that only weirdos get mental problems.  How wrong was I.  Anyways, this website is great and I am very thankful for all the info.      
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have to add my two cents here and say that I agree with everything Xhost has said. I was utterly convinced that I had HIV, and let my anxiety completely wash over me. I can honestly say that it did more damage to my health than I could possibly have imagined. I tried therapy which didn't really suit me, and I gave it up; for me the path to dealing with my anxiety lay in meditation, reading and forgiving myself. We all have our paths. Sticking to masturbation is not really an answer, as you'll miss out on one of the greatest joys in life; physical intimacy.

Please heed Xhost's advice. He really helped me in my time of need, and if you follow his advice, he'll help you too:)

It's safe to say that you didn't have a risk:)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks, I realize that OCD doesnt exactly go away for me.  When HIV is out of the question, it seems to be something else, then boom, something like this happens.  Back to the HIV scare, for 6-8 weeks.  Trust me, its almost like the movie the number 23.  Everywhere you look you can see something or think of something that relates to HIV, and drives you crazy.  Well, OCD sucks, and seems like you think you can get HIV in the most ridiculous ways, but then again they seem logical sometimes.  Well, I should just go on get tested, then move on.  No more sex til marriage.  Its funny, then I will end up seeing blood on a doorknob or something, and go right back to my scare.        
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal

Actually, rather than confining yourself to a life of masturbation, why not take the bull by the horns and speak to someone about this, such as a therapist? I only mention it because I was standing in your shoes about a year and a half ago. Met someone, got a lot drunk, spent the night going down on her, and woke up with blood on my face and on the sheets. I went off the deep end; I freaked hard.

Like you, I have a touch of OCD, so that didn't help matters. I was out asking everyone and their brother if I needed to test, and I eventually did test, at least five or six different times. I was a basket case, composing my will on cocktail napkins and thinking about who gets the big screen when I kicked the bucket - my ingrate brother or my shrewish cousin. I was a mess.

Finally, though, someone talked some sense into me. I didn't need testing, even with the menstrual blood, because oral sex doesn't appear to be much of a risk for HIV transmission (did I mention, even with the blood)? That sort of surprised me to hear, but more than one knowledgeable person said it to me. So, I sat down with myself and said "Self, what the hell is the matter with you? Everyone is telling me I will be just fine, yet here I am, obsessed with the fear of having contracted HIV. What's really going on?" The answer to that question is that I had issues that I'd never really dealt with before, and they were manifesting themselves as fear of HIV. Really, anything could eventually have been the trigger. Once I realized that, it was off to a therapist I went, and in fairly short order, I forgot all about HIV and started to work on the things that I needed to work on. And today, I feel much, much better. In fact, no need to masturbate (well, sometimes I still do), because I am able to have sex without looking around for the grim reaper afterwards.

Give it some thought - life is too short not to deal with this.

Good luck dealing with your anxiety, because that's the real issue here, not HIV.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are right.  I should just do that until I meet the right person.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dude, tested about 15 times in last 5 years.  I test after every sexual encounter lately.  Thank God they all have been negative.  This situation is all I am concerned about..  Just did a rapid test last week-negative.  It was only a few days after the encounter though.    
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Is there a need to test in this scenerio-the original question?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
What if I swallowed her blood or it got in through chapped lips or something?  Is that even possible?  I am really concerned.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes, you can still have an HIV test on your period, it will have no bearing on your results.  And yes, with todays new Pap smears, especially the ThinPrep brands, you can even get a pap smear on your period because the spin the sample so that the blood separates from the cervical cells.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
can you still have an HIV test on your period?
can you have a pap smear[std] test while on your period?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you Teak, I have a hard time dealing with this.  Even thought about getting a pcr test.  Are you sure, even with the blood.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No, you do not need to test.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community

Top HIV Answerers
366749 tn?1544695265
Karachi, Pakistan
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.