Only a few strokes

i had never had receptive anal sex before two 1/2 weeks ago.  so, one night, i decided to do it. I had been talking to a guy online for quite some time and he seemed nice. We started having sex with a condom. Since it was my first time, the anal sex was a little much for me, not because it hurt, but because it just felt so different. we stopped and then started messing around again. it was then he entered me without a condom, without my permission. i realized that something felt different after a few strokes and made him stop immediately when i found out he wasnt wearing a condom! I started to freak out and was so scared. we talked about HIV before and he said he was negative as of the end of march. plus, he said he doesnt precum (which i know that everyone does a little),and he never bottoms.  

Even just a few strokes ( 30sec-1 minute) is enough to have me terribly worried about a risk of exposure to HIV. My question is whether or not I should be this worried? Its just very ironic that my first time receiving anal sex has led to such worrisome consequences.  I feel completely violated, even though this man has apologized over and over for doing what he did..

Thanks to reading this forum,i have been able to remain a bit clamer than i was.  Still, I wanted to ask you your assessment of my situation. How much of a risk have i been put into?


thanks for your time! you are doing everyone a great service.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Since your partner is HIV negative, it seems you have no serious worries.  Yes, he could have been infected since his negative test 2 months ago.  But the average rate of new HIV infections in gay men, even among the most unsafe ones, is only a few percent per year--so the chance he actually was infected was very low.  And if he was, the brevity of the exposure undoubtedly is in your favor as well, even though there are no data on that.  (Whether or not a person has visible pre-ejaculate fluid, however, is totally irrelevant to risk.  There are no data that show presence or absence of visible pre-*** makes any difference in HIV transmission, and I strongly doubt it has any effect.)

So from a risk assessment perspective, I don't think you need HIV testing.  As I just said as a follow-up comment in the thread immediately before this one, testing after any particular exposure generally doesn't make much sense, unless there is a particularly high risk. It is wiser to just plan on being HIV tested routinely on a regular basis--perhaps once a year, or more often for people who are particularly unsafe.  But as I also have said many times, if you will be less anxious knowing for sure you aren't infected, get tested after a few weeks.  Or for even more confidence, ask your partner to be retested.  But in the meatime, don't lose sleep over this exposure.

Good luck--  HHH, MD