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Oral In Africa

Like hundrededs of others here I have made the (what I class as STUPID) mistake of having unprotected oral....details... working in Africa where risk of HIV is very high I drank too much at a few bars and went with a couple of local girls which I met in my hotel. Of course they were probably there working...but I guess that being with a couple of gorgeous coloured girls was something i coulndt resist. Anyhow...over a period of maybe 30 minutes they gave me oral sex only without condom until i came in one of there mouths...and I used my fingers on both of them. I was sober enough to resist full sex...and thought that the oral bit was entirely SAFE. However, reading many posts on these forums about people doing the same as me and worreid about HIV and STD's etc. Im not so sure now. I have a wife at home and allthough I thought I was 'safe' Im a bit scared for when I return in a couple of weeks.

I was going to post this in the HIV 'proper' forum....but thought I would shot down by the doctor for posting the same as others.

Are my chances of actualy getting HIV ...zero or am i at risk. If i was to have picked up any STD's (if any are possible thorugh Oral) should I see any side effects within the next two weeks. The big question....do you think Im OK to go home and sleep with my wife without worry????

Any advice much appreciated.

19 Responses
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13167 tn?1327194124
JS - This is what I know - which may not be much,  but it does make me concerned about you.

I  recently went to a symposium where a speaker from WHO (World Health Organization) talked about Aids in Africa.  It was riveting.    Because of the poor health conditions there,  behaviors that in the US aren't risky at all are risky.    Open lesions on genitals, and in mouths,  pass and receive diseases at a much higher rate than you see in the US for the same behavior.

In the US,  it's pretty difficult to pass HIV back and forth between heterosexual couples,  and in fact,  many go years with one partner infected while the other is not infected.

Not so in Africa,  HIV is rampant in the heterosexual population because of the poor health in general,  and the number of other conditions that cause open sores.

And THEN,  when you toss sex workers into the mix - YIKES,  guy!

I think your plan is probably a pretty good one.  Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
well i got maybe two weeks till I go home...so i think ill hang on and see if i get any symptoms...as its only realy 4 days since the event. So far nothing...allthough I have have bad diareaha and getting a mild case of piles but i dont think that has anything to with getting a BJ...lol.

I will probably go the the clinic wen I get home and get checked...for the first couple of weeks anyway I recon I can get away with using a condom with the wife if I need to...due to the fact that I am woking in the jungle sometimes where you gets lots of stuff including malayria etc.

Maybe if i wait a couple of weeks after I get home to get a check up...I can get an HIV test also after say 5 weeks and that should put any thoughts at bay...and try to use condom until every issue been cleared.

Rockrose...i did read the link but one thing bothers me about a lot of medical sites....it says that everything can be cought through oral sex...and when you read a lot of posts through sites like this one...a lot of specialists say that the likes of chlamydia is just about impossible to catch through oral. And that if there is no real visible or painful effects then you are not much risk...similar comments coem from the doctor here also.

One thing I dont understand...herpees...If I have had coldsores in the past (which I usually get one or two a year on my lips) does this mean I cannot get this STD beacuse I carry the virus anyway?

Cheers Guys...your comments are appreciated!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal


I have to agree with MonkeyFlower here. Receptive oral is considered, if I am not mistken, to be pretty safe sex. I would not characterize your encounter as "stupid" from the standpoint of having exposed yourself to the risk of contracting HIV.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
JS - don't believe for a moment that STD's always show symptoms.  

Do you have time to go to the doc and get checked out?  Then you can be treated before infecting your wife,  on the chance you are carrying something home with you.

Helpful - 0
97676 tn?1340405373
After about 14 days of your Oral encounter, with no discharge and no visable sores, you can be rest assured that you havent caught any STDS.  Gonnorhea symptoms would have certainly been present.  In addition, from what Ive read HSV1 through oral is almost never transmitted without visable sores.  Youre fine, relax and enjoy your weekend!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ps....i read the link regarding the HIV study posted by southern...and i can accept that I will not catch HIV this way!

I am mainly worried about any STD that can come from such acts...some sites recon you can cath just about anything from oral sex...and I have read many comments on this site daying that the likes of chlamidia is virtually impossible to catch through oral. Is it possible that in 2 weeks if nothing shows then I am generally OK?
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
Forgot to ad - if you go to the link I posted,  you can click on the different STD's and there is a very comprehensive list of symptoms (if any) and when they might appear.

Again,  best wishes.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would class the act as 'stupid' due to the fact that I would not do the same thing when I was completely sober. I have heard many a time that oral sex in OK and poseses no risk in catching the HIV infection. However...after a few beers...and a few more...I actually believed this was true. Now that I am completely sober...I find it hard to accept the idea that i have not picked up any virus and am quite scared about having sex with my wife 'just incase'.

For the record, I am not circumsised...but cant see how this would make that much difference.

If everyone was to say that I had no chance in catching anything then i could probably accept. However...when you a comment like the one from RockRose above then again it puts some doubt in mind. I guess thats my own fault! Some web pages detailing such matters recon that there is a risk of catching through oral sex...but I guess someone has to say so. If only to believe?

What would the doctor say...test necessary after 6 weeks????
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
Your chances, statistically,  are low of contracting HIV this way.  With HIV statistics it's impossible sometimes to tell where the transmission occurs,  and researchers often dismiss oral sex as a transmitter if the infected person has also engaged in other behaviors deemed "riskier",  so it may be they're missing more cases by dismissing them.  

It does seem low.

What seems higher is the risk of other more common but less dangerous STD's,  and having unprotected oral sex with sex workers in Africa is probably something you should get checked out by a doc.  

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
well...as they were sitting at the hotel i was using (one of the best hotels in the area) and the fact that they were offering then I guess they were effectively working and they didnt demand money but sort-off wanted something. This is seemingly a very popular thing in this part of the world! That seems to be mainly what women do...so I guess they have done it many times before. Also collogues that I work with seem to think that this just goes with the job and area...I thought so too when I was drunk!
The problem is that just about every bar and club you go to...these beutiful women (which you dont see in the UK) hand it to you on a plate...and for days I managed to restrain. Then with too much drink I gave up and thought it would be OK with just oral.
Personnaly I dont mind geting something (STD) that can be treated if it wasnt for me having to return home to my wife of whom I will not risk in any way. However like  others with partners...I have put her innocent self at risk by think about my own self. So I guess I am also feeling very guilty!
This guilt doesnt help me that thinking I am going to be fine.

Thanks for your comments.

Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
JS - I don't know all the nitty-gritty about when symptoms show,  etc.  Here's a link that gives bare bones what you can catch:

http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/library/Sexhealth/sti/riskchart.htm

It's not all the completely clear in your post whether these two women were sex workers,  or just adventuresome women who would be a much less risk - did you pay them?  Do you know they were "working"?  To me,  that makes a big difference in how at risk you are.

I hope the best for you.
Helpful - 0
97676 tn?1340405373
Previously posted by southernguy911...

http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=pr-rr-05&doc=pr-rr-05-05

ORAL SEX HIV STUDY...interesting...
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Avatar universal
sorry to be stupid...but what exactly STD's can you pick up from oral sex? Will they be visible in say a two - three week period?

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Avatar universal
You were at no risk of being infected from getting a blowjob.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
Oh,  man.  That was,  as you say,  not so bright.

The chances of a healthy heterosexual circumcized man getting HIV from a woman are pretty minimal.  If you don't have open lesions,  and no foreskin to hold the virus warm and close to your body while it looks for an entry point,  you have a great chance of not being infected.  

That was dumb,  though.  Prayers you will be okay,  and learned not to risk this again.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
sorry...you maybe misread...no condom was used and for what i consider 20-30 minutes maybe a long time. I guess the answer is the same. I take it the same goes for STD's...am I safe from these also???
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are at absolutely NO risk for any std period.  Not hiv, nothing.  Hiv has never been proven to have been transmitted through oral without a condom, so I cant imagine how it can be transmitted with a condom.  Let it go.  You were beyond safe.
Helpful - 0
79258 tn?1190630410
The foreskin doesn't hold the virus warm and close to the body while it looks for an entry point; the reason why uncircumcised men are at higher risk is because the underside of the foreskin has a lot of langerhans cells, which are particularly susceptible to HIV.

Receptive oral has a theoretical transmission risk of 1 in 20,000. You are at no risk.
Helpful - 0
79258 tn?1190630410
The foreskin doesn't hold the virus warm and close to the body while it looks for an entry point; the reason why uncircumcised men are at higher risk is because the underside of the foreskin has a lot of langerhans cells, which are particularly susceptible to HIV.

Receptive oral has a theoretical transmission risk of 1 in 20,000. You are at no risk.
Helpful - 0
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