Oral posters are clogging this forum!

[troggs]

I'm so tired of the people with low riskoral exposure getting all the council on this board. Come on already with this in depth response to one of the most asked question on here. There are so many posts of this subject throughout this forum, boeuf!

[chilly willy]

I think if most posters read  more of the threads in here all there questions would be answered !!! I know for me it was to be able to tell someone my story and risk and get the same answer i already seen on numerous threads . It relieved alot of my anxiety and was a way to confess some of my guilt to someone completely amoymous ...... Simple answers Protected sex is protected sex and oral is also no risk and you cant get hiv from kissing AND handjobs ... Thats most of the questions . Oh yeah symptoms dont mean anything ...

[troggs]

Correct my friend.

[stillworried74]

With fears, guilty, etc, most of us feel like their experience is unique, perhaps of minimal details or just because you'be been there. I think that's why posting the experience and telling others and getting their advice can help a lot, even if similar situations have happened (technically identical for evaluate hiv risk, but somehow you think your experience is unique, which in other ways it is).

[stupididiot]

been reading some of your comments..do you really believe insertive oral is a risk?

[Xhost]

I agree with Chilly Willy on this one. For many, I have to believe that telling their stories is a cathartic experience in some ways. Also, while it may be of use to go back and read through the older posts to find your answer, sometimes people like the direct attention to their plight. If it makes them feel better, then let them post. We do, after all, have the freedom to choose to respond or to not respond.

[stillworried74]

insertive: No risk.
receptive: practically no risk, or very close to zero.

They're numbers, statistics. And if 1000 people out of 40millon got infected that way, it's still close to zero. That would be 1.000 in 6.000.000.000 (you would be in that 0,0000001667% of people in the world... don't think so...!)

[troggs]

You see, here we go (stupid idiot) apropriatly named i might add, gets on here with an attempt to take this thread back to oral exposure, please don't humour him with a reply on this post.

[stupididiot]

lol, i was trying to make a point from some of the posts ive read from still chapeau

[jamiejackcorn]

Well, I know I came to this forum to get reassuring opinions, but also.. looking back on threads.. no two stories are the same and each of our stories are different so maybe we worry there is something different in OUR story that could carry a different risk assessment.

[jamiejackcorn]

.. Oh and a worried mind isn't reasonable and it doesn't listen.. because we all want to be healthy and we all worry about that slight chance.

[HansrowSenoj]

I agree that it is good to get your story across. Most persons seem more worried because they've experienced some symptom and even though after spending some time on here, you realize that symptoms mean nothing, to the newcomer, they do mean something. I read through for a while and found nothing that quite described my situation, but I've read countless orals, so I can see why one would question the amount of new posts on oral, but fear is fear and anxiety is anxiety. I've had a lot of deja vu, so I hope all I've been going through was anxiety. And not to go away from the post, but the most intersting and wierd thing happened to me last night that actually took my mind off of HIV for a while.... I thought it may have been my anxiety, but I honestly believe I saw a UFO last night... Or something... may have been a shooting star, but it never came out the other side of the cloud. Kind of freaked me out.... even had me rushing to get in the house, but it also reminded me of my when I was a kid and my cousins and I would spend the night looking for UFO's. We actually found a couple, but until last night I never believed that what we saw was actually what we saw.... Anyway, I actually wish that my risk was oral.... Then at least I could be paranoid over nothing with everyone else.

[WorriedKelly]

I think that all of us are worried about some sort of exposure, wether it's sexual or oral and just need someone to talk too.  Afterall none of us would be here if we weren't scared, confused or had anyone else to chat too.  There are so many conflicting reports regarding HIV and oral sex that you don't know who to believe any longer.  I'm going for my test today, so hopefully things will turn out for the best and I can get on with my life!

[p.Toole]

can I get hiv from licking a girl's vagina and letting her give me a blow job? answerer that, and  for sure and well leave all of you alone. but you can't right? Thats why were all scared, and here.

[WorriedKelly]

I think we all deserve to be heard regarding any exposure we might have had!
We all have fears, anxiety and guilt that need to be aired so to speak and what better way then here with people all over who are suffering the same thing!  Do you honestly believe that your risk exposure is so much greater then ours chapeau?

[troggs]

Yes worried kelly i do think my risk was greater, it's the most effective way of transmitting hiv from person to person, my risk of exposure was a needle stick.( from homless/ iv drug user with certified mental problems). Occupational hazard.
Thankfully i tested negative twice so far but i've been crippled with depression/anxiety/and thoughts of commiting suicide, something i would have never considered doing until now. I've never done drugs ever/never drank alchohol, ever/I've lived a clean responsible lifestyle. I have one more test to take for peace of mind, and frankly i'm scared to death it will be positive but if it is i will try my worst to cope with a bad result. So for the last three months i've been selling off all my posessions by the end of this month. I will go to France/Sweden/England if i make it to the end of this month without having a nervous breakdown first. Live for a year and then..........It's my life/my choice. This does not mean that i think that your risk is not relevant, i never said this, i'm just saying that we are often stuck on here discussing the LOWEST variable risk exposure. Oral dominates this forum even though veterans like Teak/Guilnworry/DR.HH, and other have posted comments on almost every variation of possible risk regarding oral tranmission. I have very few examples of my risk to work with on the other hand as most on here are requesting information on sexual contact exposure. I'm not judging anyone i'm just stating a fact. We just lost Guilnworry- a fountain of knowledge on this forum likely due to these posts on oral/handjobs/roomates, ect. Okay, sorry for venting my feelings so frankly, it's my nature.

[WorriedKelly]

While I can totally sympathise with your dilemma, fears and anxiety please understand that there are also people like us with what everyone says 'is low risk' also worrying if they're going to turn out to be HIV positive.  I'm sure deep down, we will all be okay and get to live plenty more years.  I honestly wish there was no such thing as HIV / Aids as it has made all jibbering idiots to say the least and has hurt so many people in the process.  I'm thinking of you ... wishing you luck and I'm sure all will be okay :)  Please pray for me - going for my last test tomorrow and I'm really scared!

[troggs]

What was your risk/circumstance?
If you wish to share it with me that is....

[WorriedKelly]

I had unprotected oral sex with another woman.  Something I'm not proud of but it happened one evening when my husband was away.  I'm going out of my mind with worry as some experts say it is risky and some that say not to even worry about it.  There was no blood involved, no visable sores, she's a lesbian and has never been with a man or done drugs ... what do you think?

[LIZZIE LOU]

how many weeks, past exposure, was your last test?   just wondering...not gonna try and convince you of anything.

[troggs]

I tested out negative at 4/5 weeks and negative again at 83 days.
I was exposed on 7/27 and last tested negative on 10/19.
So i will test again at 6 months and 1 week for a conclusive result/piece of mind.

[WorriedKelly]

LIZZIE LOU ... what do you think of my exposure?  Should I be worried?

[WorriedKelly]

chapeau ... please don't stress too much until you have your next test results.
What ever the outcome is, you'll get through it and even with HIV you can lead a fulfilling life.  I know I'm stressing too, but I'm praying to God everyday to help me overcome this feeling.  Take care :)

[WorriedKelly]

LIZZIE LOU ... what do you think of my exposure?  Should I be worried?

[troggs]

Worried kelly
  You are going to be fine. How many lesbians do you know with hiv/aids? Unless she is bi-sexual and flighty. If you know she is a strict lesbian be at ease, also, it's very difficult. I don't know who was doing what to whom, but either way i say you are good according to most things posted on the internet. As for me, i will not accept a positive test result.

[mike_no]

Oral sex, irrespective of the nature of exposure (giver / receiver) is practically no risk for HIV, believe it or not.

[WorriedKelly]

THANK YOU Chapeau and Mike-no for your posts.
I actually got quite worried about the whole thing and posted on the medical forum for there advise and believe it or not this is the response I received:

Most websites take conservative positions:  if there is any theoretical risk, it is listed, often without qualification to put the real risk in context.  Sometimes it is because the people writing the information don't have a sophisticated understanding; other times it's an intentional, lawyer-driven CYA attitude.

Sexual transmission of HIV between women is rare; the vast majority of HIV infected lesbians have had high risk sex with men, injection drug use, etc.  Oral sex is zero to low risk and to my knowledge has never been proved to occur by cunnilingus, in either direction.  Whatever risk there is undoubtedly is elevated in the presence of oral lesions or inflammation, but elevating a virtually zero risk really doesn't mean anything significant.

Your risk of sexual acquisition of HIV is higher in South Africa than in most industrialized countries--but it comes from your heterosexual relationships, not an occasional lesbian one.  Your symptoms don't suggest HIV, and if a dentist can't see anything wrong, most likely nothing in fact is physically wrong.  

If you remain nervous, feel free to have an HIV test; you can expect negative results.  In the meantime, if you haven't done so, ask your co-worker whether she has HIV.  If she says no (and doesn't seem evasive), that will be reassuring.





And I'm guessing, but if he is the expert in this field then I really having nothing to worry about even with the exposure, symptoms, location ... etc.
I suppose I'll know in due course what my results are and praying each day for a happy one!  Chapeau ... don't stress too much but I'm sure you're going to be fine too!
Hope you all have a wonderful week-end and will chat again on Monday!

[SkinJ]

What I perhaps do not understand here is this. Degrees of risk and what they mean. There is some agreement I think that oral sex is low risk, but still a risk (small I know). Vaginal sex, with the woman being infected and the man not is riskier and anal sex recieved from an HIV infected man is one of the riskiest along with HIV infected needles and sharps and blood transfusions with infected blood (unlikely with screening practices) . Now if that were true, why is it that HIV infects so many in many African countries and that the infection rate is increasing amoungst the hetrosexual comunities of the West where all they do is simply have normal all be it unprotected hetrosexual sex. I know the relative risks are gradated depending on what you are doing, but a risk is risk. Transmission can still occur if unprotected sex is performed. Oral does seem to dominate the forum, but given the possible, people who engage in that have a long time to think about it after the event even if the risk is low compared to other forms of sex.

What do people think about normal hetrosexual sex and the risks there in - are we being told the truth about that?

On a final point WorriedKelly do you know the status of the woman you had oral with?

[WorriedKelly]

SkinJ .... I suppose there is an abnormal amount of posts regarding HIV through oral sex and I think the reason why is that this is practiced quite extensivly through any relationship and people are starting to get concerned that this is now a risky activity.  I mean they never inform you to use condoms for oral sex so why do some experts claim it is a risk and other say it isn't.
This is my question to all ..... why would it be a risk as you're only really being exposed to saliva (which they say isn't infectious)

SkinJ, when I approached this woman regarding her status, she informed me that I've really got nothing to worry as she's HIV negative, has never been with a man or done drugs.  Just makes you wonder, hey?

[SkinJ]

I am glad that your partner at least appears to be HIV negative. That must be a relief to know that. I have asked the woman I was with several times (by text) and have recieved nothing, but then that probably about right as I did not know her before and she works in the sex industry. On the subject of oral sex and the transmission there of of HIV, its fair to say that it is very difficult to prove. If oral sex is possible for HIV transmission then why not kissing and if that were true then a massive behavoural change is going to be required to save us from this disease.

She sounds prety certain she is HIV free. Lets be honest most people are. You could ask her to take a test, I am not sure how she would react to that as I do not know your relationship with her. Perhaps if you conveyed your worry and concern to her, she might.

On a final point it does seem to be the consensus that oral sex is very low risk, so the odds really are in your favour. Good luck.

[WorriedKelly]

SkinJ, thank you for your post.
What happened with the lady that I was with:
We ended up having too many drinks at a work function ... one thing lead to another and we ended up in my hotel room having oral sex.  It's not something I'm proud of and I've never cheated on my husband with another man, let alone with a woman.  I don't really have much contact with her any longer as she kept informing me that she was negative and safe, so when I kept going on about it ... she now ignores my questions.  So it's safe to say that If I ask her to go for the test, she won't.  I'm hoping to dear God that I haven't ruined my marriage and my children's life from one mistake I've made and I suppose I'll know soon as my husband had his HIV test done today.  I'm going out of my mind with worry.
SkinJ ... I'm sure you're going to be fine.  I know everyone says this to try and calm ones nerves, but I keep having to tell myself that too.