Oral risks and symptoms

Dear doctors,
23 days ago I was invited at a stag party in italy with friends. We were in a strip club of a big city. I had a privè and a lap dancer invited me to practise a cunnilingus. She told me she was 25, from Romania, and it was the only thing she allowed to do. Stupidly i did it, licked and inserted tongue for about 5 minutes. The day after i read on CDC website that i am at risk. I also read a post in this forum where it was cited a controversial  study in South Africa (by cdc)that would show that oral sex is risk only a little lower than anal/vaginal.  I also noticed i had a little ulcer on my lips, cause 3 days before i bited my lips while working.
Since then i have been very worried of contracting HIV and infecting my wife. I asked in the free prevention forum and i was told it was no risk. But since then i had:
-a night of stomach ache and cold sweat 1 week later (day 11)
- since last week white tongue (partially white and hairy in the center) 
- these days i sometimes feel a bad taste in my mouth and in my nose and a mild sore throat
I know maths it's maybe on my side and possibilities are minuscule in these cases, but i have to ask you:
1. am i at risk of HIV? Has anybody ever been infected through cunnilingus?
2. Are my symptoms possibly ARS symptoms?
3. Would you suggest me to be tested for HIV? I am blood donor and next week i should donate. Should i wait?
I know the rules: no further 'what if' questions.
Thanks for help, i am exhausted,  really having troubles moving oN with my wife and kid.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum.  This was a no risk exposure.  As we've said on this forum before, the quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. The CDC study you mention is an outlier and does not match with all of the other studies done to date.  Some experts even state there is no risk at all from oral sex.  Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex.  Further, if anything, cunnilingus is a lower risk activity than fellatio.  I really would not worry.  With regard to your specific questions:

1.  See above- no risk.
2.  The symptoms that you describe are not at all suggestive of the ARS. Rather they are the sorts of aches and pains that most people have from time to time.  
3.  There is no medical reason to test or to worry.  Similarly, there is no reason related to this exposure to not donate blood next week.

I hope my comments will help you to put this matter behind you.  EWH