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Oral sex between two woman
Please can someone help me.  About 6 months ago I had an encounter with another lady.  We had oral sex - both giving and receiving.  There was no blood involved, but not sure about other bodily fluids.  Is this a risk for HIV infection and do you think it warrants an HIV test?
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Thanks Mike, but a few questions:

1)  You say 'practically' - what does this mean?
2)  How does woman to woman transmission actually happen
3)  Will start counselling soon
4)  Trying to move on .... THANK YOU
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Hi all .... I'm sorry to worry you again but I've got a few symtoms that I'm worried about now and need your advice:

1)  Sore neck on the right hand side - can hardly turn my neck
2)  Tongue and Palatte feel sore and mouth feels really dry
3)  The rash that I spoke about earlier on hasn't gone away yet
4)  Headaches
5)  Tired all the time

PLEASE .... are these any to be concerned about?  Are they not a symptom of ARS?
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I got an experience with some sex workers in Hong Kong We used condom and for blow job as well. I remember touching her vagina then stick my fingers to my mounth.
Do you think I may be infected? Because It has been two weeks passed I got a slight fewer and night swetting going on about 3 days.  
It scarez me. I wen to take HIV test. It was negative. Off course it was too early I know. But how can I be sure. I didn't tell my wife yet. If I am infected I don't want to give it to her.
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Since it has been 6 months that is more then enough time for a 100% accurate test. So to get over your anxiety go get tested. Personally I DON'T think you need testing, but it would help you relax. I had my test done by a service on the net which uses testing labs by Lab Corp. One of the biggest and best testing centers in the USA. They don't ask questions. Cost about 130.00 but if you are still having anxiety over this it would be worth it. You can also go to your city's health dept and get tested for a lot less sometimes it is free, but they ask questions. I can't remember the name of the testing service but look on the net it was called "advance testing service" or something close.
Lab corp is the lab there is also Quest labs they do the blood work, but you make the appointment over the phone, pay by credit card, than call in a week to find out that you are negative.
Your symptoms you posted don't mean ****. 99% of people with ars have fever,
dirrerha, and other very strong symptoms not a sore tongue. Also symptoms don't wait 6 months to show up. They happen within 2 to 4 weeks and last about 2 weeks they NEVER wait 6 months.
Your symptoms are NOT symptoms it is your mind playing tricks on you.
The lady you had sex with says there is nothing to worry about. So don't worry about it, but if that is not possible than go get tested. It will be negative.
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Thank you for your comments.  If these are not symtoms of HIV, then I have no idea what they are.  I'm really nervous about going for the test, but I know this is the only way to put my mind to rest.  I've read numerous websites on HIV transmission through oral sex between woman and not one of them say it's not a risk - just a theoratical risk.  What does this mean?  Have their been reported cases of HIV through oral sex between woman?  I showed this friend of mine this rash I have and she said she thought it was a fungus?  I've had no diaraha, fever just sore neck, nauseaous, rash and sore mouth - are these symtoms of HIV?
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Thank you, but it's all so worrying!  Just wanted to find out if there has ever been documented cases of HIV transmission via woman to woman and by oral sex?  Isn't vaginal fluids a high risk for transmission?
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Your question has been asked and answered REPEATEDLY. You are WELL beyond the 'window period.' If you are still (unwarrantedly) concerned, go get a test. You have NO excuse not to if you placed yourself at risk (which you did not). Get a Home Access test if you are that worried.
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Thank you Jaguar.  I suppose it's always good to hear that I didn't expose myself to a risky enounter.  Unfortunatly were I live in South Africa there is no home access tests.  The only way to be tested is to go to one of the clinics.  I really need to try and put this behind me though.  Any suggestions?
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yes...as everyone has already SUGGESTED a million times...go get tested.
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Thank you sweetnss .... I know that's the only way and a pray everday that all is okay and I can get on with my life.  There's not too many testing centres in my area, so I'm going to have to research on where to get tested.
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I saw your question and there should be no reason you have HIV but get tested anyway. if you don't mind me asking what made you have oral sex with another woman
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There is no reason for her to test. All she is doing is going back and forth from one forum to the other asking the same questions.
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I want to thank you for your comments and I'm sorry if I seem like 'such a worry wart' but it really scares me that the one time I cheat on my husband and with a woman, I might have contracted HIV.  I hope you understand and please show me a little patience and understanding as I'm sure some where down the line you also felt the same way as I do!
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one question

when testing for hiv/aids ..blood sample

does it show only for that or other sort of diseases like syphilis or chalmydia ......????

do you need to take a spefic test for that

anyone who knows please answer
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Stick to one thread you have already received the answers to that question.
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I want to thank you for your comments and I'm sorry if I seem like 'such a worry wart' but it really scares me that the one time I've ever cheated on my husband and with a woman, I might have contracted HIV.  I hope you understand and please show me a little patience and understanding as I'm sure some where down the line you also felt the same way as I do! GUILT AND WORRY!
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Michelle, no I never felt the guilt and the worry. When I contracted HIV there was no name for it, nor was there a cause, nor was there medications. It's been almost 30 year since the impact of the disease and it really baffels me that people today still don't know the way HIV is transmitted.
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Teak, please understand that my heart goes out to you and I really do symphathise .... I'm just really, REALLY scared and have no one else to turn too.  I live in South Africa were HIV is rife, but alot of us are uneducated on how it's transmitted.  This is why I'd like to know more so that I can protect myself, my husband and basically get on with life.  I know everyone says 'just go and have the test done' but it's not as easy as that as testing centres are not readily available in my area.  Any expertise advice and help would gladly be appreciated.
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Don't feel pity for me. I contracted it when no one knew how it was transmitted. You've been given the facts not only here but on AidsMeds now if you can't believe those facts there is no reason to discuss it any further. Go take a test at any health center collect your negative result and be done with it.
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Thank you Teak .... I do appreciate your advice and concern.  If this is the case, then why did I get this message from Andy telling me that it is a risk?


Im sorry for contactibg you in this way but I understand what you are going through because of the lack of official stats relating to HIV transmission through oral sex.

What I can say is that I am appalled at some of the responces and will be making my own views very clear indeed.

Firstly, if you are worried about contracting this virus you should get tested , it really is as simple as that, especialy because you have stated that your partner has admitted to seeing men as well. Secondly, I will tell you that just because there are very dubious stats regarding HIV transmission through Oral sex IT DOES HAPPEN. Yes the risks are very low and but there are risks and I can say this because I know.

I was infected by performing oral sex on my g/f at the time. The things we did not know about are the things we did not know about.

We used to "freshen up" beforte sex, we would both brush our teeth, and all that, now as you know if your brush to hard, your gums can bleed, also, we found that the way that oral sex is carried out can have an impact,, as can the level of virus in the partners blood at the time, my g/f had a high viral load at the time, and because im not fussy about getting a mouth full (sorry for the crudeness) the oppertunities for infection are there.

I hope that you understand what Im saying, PLEASE take what is said in these forums as advice, as far as Im aware, no one in here is a trained HIV specialist, so why certain people are saying it cannot be caught from "going down" on a female amazes me.

I was diagnosed in 2005 and I can say for sure that this is the way I caught it because I knew my g/f was poz at the time and we made every effort in what we knew to practise safe sex. I NEVER PENETRATED HER WITHOUT A CONDOM.

Please see your doctor and get tested, once tested you should be offered councilling this is the time to ask any question you may have and the experts will be able to tell you the reality of your question, "risky" yes, but very very low, but still possible.

I hope I havent scared you with this mail but i would rather you knew that it is possible from some one who knows. ANYONE  that says NO  it cant be passed that way is wrong.

If you want to chat more please just get in touch,, all the best

Andy
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He says he's infected. How he got infected is questionable at the most. He can say what he wants. But scientific studies refutes him. We apply information based on scientific studies, not peer review.  
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Hi Teak,
I suppose he could say that he was infected this way as many people don't only practice oral sex but have intercourse too.  I'm hoping that this isn't the reason why he got infected and I can put my mind to rest and believe that I'm safe.
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It's ashame that people can't admit their real risks, but you will have that. Some people are to ashamed to admit it.
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Heavens no I don't think that is how he contracted HIV if he even has it. I doubt that you will ever see him back on the forum.
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Thank you Teak.  
So do you think this is not how he contracted HIV and that I still have nothing to worry about with regards to transmission of HIV through woman to woman oral sex?
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That's what I'm telling you.
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It's really sad in a way that people are not truly honest about how they actually contracted HIV .... it gives us false hope and untrue figures.  He really gave me quite a scare and made me doubt everyones ability and information here on Medhelp and Aidsmeds.  Basically what you're saying Teak is that there is no reason for me to pursue this matter any longer as my risk for contracting HIV from one sexual encounter with another woman is not risky at all and no need for me to test?
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A BIG THANK YOU TEAK and I'm sorry if I kept going on about this and if I've been an absolute pain!
Will try and get through this and get on with my life.
Take care and God Bless you for all the wonderful work and advice you're giving.
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NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED!!  This is the report back I got from the CDC on oral sex and HIV transmission.  I thought they were the experts on HIV and transmission but everyone here keeps telling me that I've got nothing to worry about.  You're responses would be great!!

Thank you for contacting us with your follow-up questions.  
Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through performing or receiving oral sex. There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV. While no one knows exactly what the degree of risk is, evidence suggests that the risk is less than that of unprotected anal or vaginal sex.  Please see this CDC web site about women who have sex with women and HIV http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets/wsw.htm.

I do not have a medical background.  Please see your doctor about testing.  Here is a good site regarding testing: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/testing/qa.htm.

Please see our web site, www.cdcnpin.org for further information.  If you have further questions, please contact the CDC Information Line by email at ***@**** or by phone at 800-232-4636.  

I hope this is helpful.  Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.  


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That's the same thing you can read off their website, word for word. Which doesn’t tell you that the only information that they have is from peer surveys. They don't tell you about all the studies that contradict them. That’s like contact an HIV hotline those people read from books that most are even outdated. Now you can sit around and worry about this all you want. You can go collect your negative result and be done with it. It's up to you.
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Thank you Teak .... I really started getting worried and thinking 'just maybe' I've contracted HIV!  I'm sure they have to say that to cover all their bases.  Are you in agreement with everyone else that there is absolutly nothing to worry about regarding transmission of HIV between two women - no blood involved?
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Who is this Andy?  Andy Velez??  He says he got hiv from performingoral on a woman??

And he is giving advice to people?  Of course he is lying.

Michelle,
Whoever this Andy is forget him.  He is not being truthful.  He has had other risks that he is not saying.  And maybe, as Teak says, he may not even have HIV.  It was wrong for him to write you this way and was to simply scare you.  I have read many of Andy Velez's posts, he seems ok so I do not think it is him.

I am going to go read Aidsmeds and find your post there to see who this is.

That said, for God's sake you have some serious problems.  This forum is doing nothing for you.  GO TEST FOR GODS SAKE!!!!!! JEEZUZ.

YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV!!!!!! PERIOD!!!!!END OF DISCUSSION!!!!!

Your worry is not HIV, it is that you "cheated" on your husband.  HIV only comes to mind because you care about your husband and do not want to "infect" him because of your actions, even though you could not infect him because YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV!!!!
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No it was not Andy Velez. That matter has been taken care of.
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PLEASE go and get a test already. Seriously. Even though there doesn't seem to be ANY medical reason for you to do so.

I'm going to say that again, there seems to be NO MEDICAL REASON TO TEST. None, zilch, nada.

However, you're investing a great deal of time, energy and anxiety in your internet search for *answers* that are being given to you over and over again, to no avail. If you were to get tested, you could let go of all of this anxiety. Imagine how wonderful that would feel and then just go DO IT.

As for the CDC, of course they are going to cover their asses. They can't very well say "absolutely NO risk," and then have 1 of a billion people turn up with it now can they? Your odds of getting hit by lightening are likely greater than your risk of getting HIV from going down on a woman.

I don't know this Andy person, have never heard of him, and yet still I think he's full of ****. Homosexuality and bisexuality may have become somewhat more acceptable in females (and likely only because heterosexual men like to watch it). However, men still get a totally raw deal and it's not a huge leap of imagination to acknowledge that people would lie to escape the stigma and risk of admitting to having sexual relationships with other men. That's why there is so much variance in all of the studies you find - self report measures are always a bit sketchy and people want to appear "good" on them, so the tendency is to deny all sorts of risky behavior.

I've had both long and short term relationships with men and women all of my life, and I've never ONCE worried about contracting HIV from being with a woman. STDs? Sure. HIV, no. It simply doesn't happen.

After having said all of that, I still do strongly believe that at this point you should be tested. For your own mental health. Just do it, Michelle, you'll feel so much better after you have *proof* that you can't vascillate over. Then you can begin to get on with your life and deal with your feelings over having been with someone other than your husband.
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"I've never ONCE worried about contracting HIV from being with a woman. STDs? Sure. HIV, no. It simply doesn't happen.

What are you smoking? That is one big fallacy that you better get educated on. You can't be for real. I don't even believe you made such a remark.

  http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets/women.htm
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Teak, I think you've said going down on a girl carries no risk...
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(orientated is a woman).
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Excuse me? Yes, of course women can get and spread HIV. That wasn't my point.

The chances of contracting HIV from getting or receiving cunnilingus is negligible - to - zero. With the exception perhaps of the mysterious "Andy" and his letter claiming doom by going down on his gf, I've never even heard of one case where a woman has gotten HIV by going down on another girl (or by having said girl perform oral on her).

Therefore, when I have sex with a woman - which (since I am a woman) always includes some combination of hand/mouth coordination and use - I don't walk around afterwards in fear of having contracted HIV.

Now...if some elaborate and unforeseeable scenario unfolded where perhaps a grenade fell on me while I had my head between a girlfriend's legs and my jaw exploded, and the bone fragments cut through her skin and she bled on my partially destroyed face...or maybe if she got her period while I was fingering her and I had just sliced my hand while cutting a bagel, well then you could be absolutely certain that I would have some serious concerns and definitely get tested at 12 weeks.

But concerns about cunnilingus or hand play with a clean partner who has no bleeding or open wounds when I have neither of those things?

No. I'm not losing sleep over it.
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Thank you all for your kind words, compassion and reassurance you have all shown me.  It really is quite difficult when you get conflicting reports like this one saying on one hand yes it is risky and on another hand no it isn't risky like the post I received from Andy (and no it wasn't Andy Velez)  He's been absolutly wonderful and has not only been very caring, but understanding man too.  I know deep down, I'm probably not infected by HIV and then this creeps into my head when someone as cruel posts these comments to me.  You just don't know who to believe.  I know this statistics are from the USA, but what about South Africa, as that is where I'm from?  I suppose the guilt is making me feel even worse and maybe I should just go and have the test done, put this all behind me as a fantasy I've lived out and enjoy my life.  Rapirod, I read the fact sheet that you Jaguar83, but it also states that HIV transmission through woman is more risky if they're injecting drugs, so if I've never done anything like this before then obviously I should be okay?  

This is what someone posted to me:
If you read the cdc report that the respondent links to you can see it says:
- here are no confirmed cases of female-to-female sexual transmission of HIV in the United States database
- Of the 534 (of 7,381) women who were reported to have had sex only with women, 91% also had another risk factor—typically, injection drug use.  So assuming all of this - no drug injection, no blood - NO RISK?

I really do value all of your comments - helps me sleep a little easier at night and not feel too guilty when I look into my husbands eyes!
A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ALL!
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Hey Michelle -
I'm glad that you are sounding/feeling a bit better. I continue to think that (a) you need to get a test - purely for your own sense of well-being and further (b) you need to get a test so that you can then begin to process the anxiety/guilt you have over having been with someone other than your husband.

That's really the issue here, you know? You infringed upon that trust and now you seem stuck in a place where all of your energy is being diverted to the fear of having contracted something (that is almost impossible given what you've shared) instead of the equally difficult task of examining yourself and your own behavior and finding a way to mediate and forgive that transgression. You said that this encounter happened 6 months ago. It's time to move forward chica, get tested and then work on the deeper issues that are disturbing you regarding what happened and "why." For what it's worth it's possible your husband would be far more willing to forgive an encounter with a woman...but who knows? I'm more concerned about you forgiving yourself and getting back to your life, and your marriage and identifying any areas of that relationship that might need some heartfelt effort and examination in order for you to be more peaceful and happy.

As for the CDC stats - remember, many people who are IV drug users or engaging in other risky behaviors are not going to tend to be completely forthright on response for a multitude of reasons - fear of stigma, denial, etc. In addition, female to female sexuality is broad and encompasses many situations.  Some of which are far outside of the realm of what *most* of us find enjoyable/erotic. If a partner is biting to draw blood, etc., or one of them is inserting their entire hand into the other and running the risk of tear/abrasion - well then sure, I suppose it's conceivable that they could then infect each other...but more mainstream activities between women only? I can't see that happening.

All of life contains "theoretical risks," but that doesn't mean that these things actually occur. Although I agree that sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the "maybe," and "what if?" pattern of thinking, especially where there is guilt involved (as too often there is where sexuality is concerned). I get weekly to biweekly infusions of a plasma product for the past 10 years. "Theoretically" there is a risk of HIV or Hep infection with each infusion, yet NO ONE has contracted either thing from that med since 1987. Did I worry about it? Sure. For the first few times and then I realized that "theoretical risks" are ridiculous conjectures. Every time we walk out of the house we run the risk of being hit by a car, or falling and breaking our skulls. But we don't sequester ourselves in our beds because of it.

And the likelihood of either of those things is higher than the probability of you catching AIDS by having oral sex with a woman, or me catching it from my meds.

Get tested sweetie, and move on. Do it for yourself. You deserve the peace of mind.

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I like you orientated; you are brash and to the point. And when you said getting or receiving did you mean *giving* or receiving cunni?
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Just get tested!!!!  There is nothing wrong with what you did.  You explored some fantasy with another woman.  Big deal.  Tell your husband, he will probably want to watch next time..... :)

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Thank you orientatedx3, Jaguar83 and Dumbo for your comments and reassurance - it's so nice to see there are people out there that care and are willing to share their expierences, fears and hopes.  I suppose what it boils down to is probably guilt for doing it and not the HIV scare as much as I think it couldn't or shouldn't really happen.  When this encounter happened ... I'd had far too much to drink, one thing lead to another and since I've never been with a woman - the fantasy was quite overwhelming and I was so naive at the moment.  What kept going through my mind was that I wasn't cheating on my husband with another man and this is something I've wanted to try for a very long time and I really didn't think HIV was a concern.  Hence that I never used any dental dams for oral sex.  Then a week later I read that someone had contracted HIV through oral sex and my mind went into overdrive and fear.  I love my husband dearly ... often wish I could turn back the clock and everytime I look at him, I feel totally desparate and sorry for what I've done.  Unfortunatly he's quite the possesive type, so I'm not sure he'll take to this encounter in a happy way!  I know this is something I'm going to have to work through - both the fear, guilt and love but it is so difficult when I look at him and think 'what if!'

With everything that I've read, I know it's on a theoratical risk but do you really know if there have been any documented cases of HIV transmission via oral sex between two woman?  And I'm not talking about in the USA as I live in South Africa?  I appreciate all your help guys and the time you take to answer all my questions.
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Shut up and get tested. Stop posting here until you do. You're repeating the same things over and over and over again and it obviously isn't working for you. Confessing to a bunch of worried wells is not your answer. Frankly, that's grreat that you love your husband so much or whatever but it doesn't mean anything to this forum. Get tested, tell your husband, get the F on with your life.
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Thanks for you honest advise and I'm going to try and get tested as soon as I can - just need to find out where they do it as I'm quite isolated here were I live.  I'm sorry to keep going on and on about this, but I guess I keep looking for reassurance that all will be okay!
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what was the outcome of the test?
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what was the outcome of the test?
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Who you talking to? Look at the date of this thread.
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to the original poster.. most of these people or these forums dont ever post what the test results were..
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They aren't going to post 4 years later either.
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