Peekawho, Teak, Monkey

Hey guys, Noone responded to my post.  Does that mean that after seeing all of my syptoms (symptoms) you have changed your opinion  of my 12 week results?  Please don't leave me hanging  guys.  I need to know what you think about all of these symptoms.  Thanks.  This is the link to the list of symptoms. http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIVSupport/messages/3808.html

[peekawho]

I didn't respond because it doesn't seem to help you at all.  

Look.  If I were to sit down right now and catalog every single "abnormal" symptom that is going on with my body right now, I would be scared sh*tless.  Add guilt and fear on top of that, and you have the recipe for the obsession that you are so preoccupied with.

There are forums where people are obsesed with Lyme disease.  They have every one of the 48-some symptoms, and cannot be swayed from the belief that they have it.  Similarly, there are the ALS obsessers.  There are also those that unreasonably fear they have heart disease in the face of normal cardiac work-ups.  

You simply are in the grips of HIV obsession.  If spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary (your negative tests), you are convinced you are "the one" that defies the odds and are a late seroconverter.  

If you can't go to a regular doctor and address your "symptoms" and try to find out what is really happening, how can anyone here help you?  Someone else pointed out that testing and retesting really isn't reassuring you, or I'd suggest going to any drugstore and picking up a Home Access test.  But you will no doubt find a reason to not believe it, and you'd be right back here.  As for your wife, you say she has a bump on her lip?  FOR GODS SAKE.  Has she NEVER had a bump on her lip before?  Come on.  You know better.  Even if she has the bump, diarrhea, fatigue and whatever else, it is not from HIV because you don't have it.

So there is very little else to say, besides get into therapy, which you say you've already tried and rejected.   I don't know what else to tell you.  You will live this way like most of the other forum members do, until something clicks and you gradually give up this fear.

I didn't post yesterday b/c I worked all night, btw.  See how your mind turned the fact that I didn't answer into something related to HIV, instead of the obvious fact that I (as well as MF and Teak) had something else to do?  

Good luck.  

[xworriedx]

You had a NEGATIVE test at 12 weeks, you dont have HIV peroid.

[Teak]

You don't have HIV. Seek the help of a mental health professional for your guilt.

[farfromperfect]

Teak, you know I think you are great.  Did you read the symptoms?  You think they are related to guilt? Wife just got a bump on the inside of her lip today and she hardly ever gets those.  Teak, please don't let me irritate you.  I know I'm driving you guys nuts.  I just have this thought, that since I have lower than normal body temps, maybe I am hypothyroid.  Hypothyroid is an immune problem, and that makes me fear late seroconversion.  I don't have medical insurance and can't afford the labs to determine this.  That's why I am at the mercy of the clinics when it comes to hiv testing, and they won't let me come back until 3 months has passed since last test.  Man, this is killing me.  

[Teak]

You can go to any county mental health clinic and get help for free. You don't have HIV and whatever is going on with your wife is not related to HIV.

[farfromperfect]

Thank you for your response.  I just can't get past this.  I don't know if I told you but the only test I have ever taken is the Oraquick from Quest diagnostics.  It's a test where they poke the finger and give you results in 20 minutes.  I feel as if I have been irresponsible by using just that testing method.  DO you know if this test is accurate?  Even the manufacturers site says to test out to 6 months.  

[peekawho]

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV/messages/1145.html