Please Help, Want

I cannot sleep at night, I am constantly checking forums and calling hot-lines about my exposure.  
I went outside of marriage and met a girl, stranger, and we went back to the hotel.  There was some fingering, and we both performed oral sex on each other.  I believe I ejac in her mouth, 90% sure.  I went down on her for long time, 20min or so.  
I am so scared to pass anything onto my wife so I have refrained from sex of any kind with her, only kissing, breast sucking.  

Please help me, tell me the truth?

Her Test History:
48 day finger prk NEG

My Testing History:
6 day: STD panel NEG
14 day PCR DNA NEG
42 day bloodwork LABCOR NEG
48 day finger prk NEG
58 day oralswap NEG

[LIZZIE LOU]

you never had a risk from what you are describing.  STOP testing...it's a waste of time

[aking30]

Oral sex doenst need to test?

Would the testing up to 9 weeks conslive than?

[as1979]

Oral Sex is no risk for HIV. Just browse through last 20 questions in this forum and I'm sure you will find a lot of explanation why it is not. In fact, I would paste from one of the answers that Teak gave multiple times in this forum.
You don't need any testing. Get yourself tested at 3 months mark only if your risk was unprotected vaginal/anal sex or if you share IV Drugs with multiple people.
This is what Teak and a lot of experts have to say about Oral Sex:
No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States

Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228

AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men

Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.

Studies which show the fallacy of relying on anecdotal evidence as opposed to carefully controlled study insofar as HIV transmission risk is concerned:

Jenicek M. "Clinical Case Reporting" in Evidence-Based Medicine. Oxford: Butterworth–Heinemann; 1999:117

Saltzman SP, Stoddard AM, McCusker J, Moon MW, Mayer KH. Reliability of self-reported sexual behavior risk factors for HIV infection in homosexual men. Public Health Rep. 1987 102(6):692–697.Nov–Dec;

Catania JA, Gibson DR, Chitwood DD, Coates TJ. Methodological problems in AIDS behavioral research: influences on measurement error and participation bias in studies of sexual behavior. Psychol Bull. 1990 Nov;108(3):339–362.



There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANSFIELD

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANSFIELD

"I am sure you can find lots of people who belive that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA

"The observation on thousand and thousand of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort)." DR HOOK

[aking30]

I just don't want to be the 1 in 20000 risk.  Are my testing aducate in this?

[as1979]

I can imagine your anxiety and the fear that is driving you, however, I still believe you don't have any real concern as far as HIV is concerned.  I think nothing can reassure you more than a conclusive negative result.
I would also like to quote Dr Edward W Hook who posted this answer in Expert Forum about a similar concern (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post it here, but if it violates any rules of this forum, I'm sorry and feel free to delete this)
"there is virtually no risk of HIV from this exposure.  It is statistically unlikely that your partner had HIV.  Even if he did, the quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex.  Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex and we have looked.  In general we do not even recommend testing following exposures such as yours.    

At 4 weeks following exposure over 90% of persons who acquired HIV would have positive tests.  Further, if you choose to have additional testing, I think the advice you were given was a bit out of date and overly conservative.  Virtually all HIV is detectable with current tests at 8 weeks following exposure."

These doctors have spent a life time dealing with such cases and if they haven't seen or read any credible evidence of oral sex posing any real risk for HIV, I guess it would help if you put your fears to rest.
Going by what Dr Edward W Hook says, you should be happy with your 8 week (your last test of 58 days) test.
CDC recommends the antibody test at 3 month mark to be conclusive.

[geobassoon]

The only thing that you could possibly have had a risk to from oral sex would be gonorrhea or herpes, and even that is very unlikely. With out contact to open sores it is very unlikely to get herpes in such a fashion and the probability of transmitting gonorrhea with oral sex is very very low and rare.

As for your tests, yes they are accurate and conclusive. I know its stressful but what you are feeling is a result of feeling regretful/shameful about an experience you had. Step back, take a deep breath, and listen to what the professionals and knowledgeable people on this forum are telling you because you have nothing to worry about :)

[aking30]

Day 59 took another test finger prick which was NEG.  When should I stop testing?  9 week ?

[aking30]

Teak/Lizzie/=Nick?

[aking30]

Vance please?

[Teak]

You never had a risk of contracting HIV.

[aking30]

I have a meeting with HIV center which is on Monday (62 days) to take Oralswab rapid test. Is this test conclusive for my exposure but pretty 99% absolute for any exposure.  I am not a cancer patient, 30 male.

[aking30]

Please guys I cant sleep

[NickOne7]

NO RISK!!!

[aking30]

My 8 week and nine show this right?

Plus her test at 7 weeks

[aking30]

U agree nick?

[Teak]

You never had a risk. MOVE ON.

[NickOne7]

You have been assessed as not having a risk and not needing any testing. You also have NEG tests to PROVE you were NEVER infected.  You need to relax you are fine in regards to HIV.

Kindly Move Along...