Possibly HIV+...a few questions.

So about in the middle of April 2008 I met up with a guy who I just met, and we ended up doing oral on each other, but he didn't finish in my mouth. The day after, we did it again, except this time he finished in my mouth, and I got quite a bit of his sperm. I didn't have any open, bleeding sores in my mouth...but I am pretty sure that I had bitten one of those annoying Vitamin C bumps (don't remember exactly what they're called) on my tongue earlier that day. So it may have not been fully healed.

So two days after we hooked up, I had a weird cough, which I have gotten from smoking before. I hadn't smoked in a while and had smoked a lot that weekend then thought it was no big deal. Then I got really tired and weak, and just felt overall pretty crappy for about two or three days after. I started freaking out cause the first thing I looked up was HIV and how I was experiencing a lot of the symptoms. At the time I felt really fatigued I was going vegetarian and was eating 1/4 of my daily calories. Now I'm eating pretty normal, and I feel pretty good.

The guy I was with swears he is HIV- and was tested last August. Anytime he had hooked up with anyone he always played it safe, and said he is going this month to get tested again. I am freaking out cause either I had a bad cough and fatigue from my poor diet and smoking, which was really bad timeing, or he did in fact give me HIV. I plan on getting tested next month, as it will have been 3 months then.

I'm only 18 years old, he's only the second guy I've been with. I'm really nervous, and scared, and depressed. I've told a few of my friend and they think I'm just making myself have the symptoms. I REALLY, REALLY hope this is the case, but for some reason I have a feeling I'm positive. If I do test positive, does anyone have any suggestions as to what my next step should be? The only thing I can think of at the moment is suicide.

[Teak]

Seek help from the suicide crisis hotline. Symptoms mean nothing and your risk in giving a blowjob isn't worth the time to test.