Private Clinics

For people in the UK, in and around London;

All of the private clinics in London charge at least

[dobber21]

Freddy, if I'm correct your risk was around 10 seconds unprotected sex with a person of unknown status and you're now at around 44 weeks post exposure?
Does your wife know about all this?
I'm really sorry you could still be so anxious, didn't you have a DNA PCR done aswell?

I really hope you find the peace of mind your looking for. Have you ever considered levelling with your wife? Sure, she'd be upset but I think she'd be more upset at the hell your putting yourself through. Please know that's not a judgement call, merely a suggestion. You've had a year of hell over a brief, single exposure and you have tested well beyond the window period.

Incidentally, I notice that Playwithmeplz freaked you out over on aidsmeds. I took it upon myself to follow up his claim that it took him a year to seroconvert.Here's what I found out...

1. He's in the military and is away from his regular partner for vast amounts of time.
2. While he continued to test negative, he assumed that she must have been negative too, considering his own negative status (flawed logic).
3. She tested positive too. He was having unprotected sex with her all the way up to his positive diagnosis. Her virus was far more advanced than his. Ergo, she infected him. That was his real risk.

I hope you can get over this. because HIV is not your problem:)

[freddy999]

Thanks for your response.

My post really is meant as a kind of warning to others about private clinics, but I sincerely appreciate your kindness. Particularly after my own recent insensitive posts.

I have levelled with my wife, 2 weeks post exp.
My fear and inability to move on has caused more damage to our relationship than my drunken 10 seconds with a CSW.

I love her very much, and our two small children.

For her, she feels like something has been destroyed and she is not sure that it can be rebuilt. I don't really know where to start.

I have hidden my obsessive testing from her.

I am seeing a counsellor, but it takes a lot of time (apparently) to resolve these things.

i.e. she believes that the fear has a deep seated course.

I, on the other hand, see that many many people suffer in the same way that I am (although perhaps not so protracted) and am starting to think; I just need to let go.

Letting go might be the best way of rebuilding both my own mental,emotional and physical health as well as my marriage

Thanks for listening...

Fred

[dobber21]

'For her, she feels like something has been destroyed and she is not sure that it can be rebuilt. I don't really know where to start'.

The best place to start is to move on. I think Xhost said it best when he put it that people like you have done something you believe to be wrong/evil/immoral and that HIV would be the perfect punishment. Well it's not a punishment, it's a consequence(but not always) of certain actions. Freddy, you're home clear. If I was to hazard a guess, I'd say the root cause of your anxiety is that your punishing yourself for ensuring that things will never be the same with your wife or family. That's rubbish. Life is as much about making mistakes as it is about not making them. The trick is to learn from them - a trick I myself have not yet perfected - and move on.

I guarantee you, if you can put HIV out of your head - because it is not your problem - and get back to being a good husband and father, that all will be well again in a matter of months. You're no use to anyone, including yourself if you continue to obsess about what is essentially a non-issue; HIV.

As regards your own insensitivity re NORY, what bugged me the most was that you know yourself you would do anything to get through this, to get over it. And it would trouble you if others tried to belittle or invalidate whatever process you had chosen. So don't do it to others, regardless of whether you agree with them or not. Because there are people out there who want to help you Freddy. If you can't help others, at least don't try and make things worse!

Now, the first thing you should do after reading this is turn off your computer. Move away from the screen. And never visit medhelp, aidsmeds, thebody, any HIV site again. Because HIV is not an issue for you. Be happy with that and get back to living your life. And the next time you think of splashing out on a diagnostic test, take your wife to the cinema/theatre/restaurant, or put the money aside for your kid's education.

Then you'll be on the road to recovery:)

[freddy999]

Dobber21,

Thankyou....

[thinkingworried]

How do you know that the nhs uses 4th gen testing? Im sure it is 3rd gen Elisa.

[freddy999]

Just ask the person taking your blood.

The fact is that 4th Gen is only of any benefit over 3rd Gen if your exposure was less than 6 weeks ago. At 6 weeks it makes little or no difference. The benefit it has is somewhat hampered by most assays insensitivity to p24. (some evaluations rate it as low as 70% detection, some as high as 90%).

However,  if you are extremely anxious  (like me), you would not be happy with this and your fear would demand 100% sensitivity. This is not possible and therefore the generation of test still does not matter.

Good luck.

Freddy

[thinkingworried]

Your comment doesn't make sense 2 me. I had a test at gum clinic- 4 weeks neg and duo at 6 weeks neg at freedom health. Are u saying i still need 2 be worried
?

[WorriedT]

So the p24 test detects part of the HIV virus itself, while Ab tests pick up the immune response to the virus.

Early in infection, HIV divides unchecked by the immune system, so you can detect p24 Ag. As the immune system responds, it gets rid of all the virus, so p24 becomes undetectable much beyond 5-6 weeks. 4th generation tests combine Ab testing and p24 detection so that you can detect HIV infection earlier (around 95% at the 4 week mark). However, if you test at 6 weeks, the only part of the 4th generation test that is detecting is the Ab part, so it becomes no more efficient than a 3rd generation ELISA detecting Ab responses.

Hopefully, that makes sense...:)

[freddy999]

No I don't think you need to be worried. However the standard, from an NHS perspective, is to consider 12 weeks as conclusive (albeit that this is somewhat conservative nowadays).

Ultimately you must make your own choice as to when to finish testing. 6 weeks negative is apparently very reassuring. 12 weeks conclusive. 24 weeks for nervous nellys. 44 weeks for mental cases.

[WorriedT]

Hi Freddy, Just on a note on your initial post about private clinics. I actually had a very good experience with a private GP practice (Wellcare). I posted details on the other Forum, but in brief, I wasn't overtested at all and received a lot of anxiety and depression counselling, which really helped my mental state. I don't know whether that was because it was a private GP practice as opposed to a private clinic.