Protecting self against vaginal bleeding

[S.C.R.E.A.M]

Hello Dr. HHH,
   It has been a while since I last visited this forum and I am doing my best to remain STI free. I was last tested in May 2006 for the common STI's and HIV. I do not believe that included herpes or syphilis. Anyhow, I had a question concerning a past sexual encounter with my partner. After seven months of abstinence we engaged in vaginal sex, I am a woman and he is a male. We had sex a total of two times on October 20 & 21.  After sex, I went to urinate and noticed the faint tint of pink blood and mucous on the toilet paper. We attempted to have sex again on the 22, but my vaginal opening was irritated and it would not allow his penis to enter.
1. Do you know of any methods I could possibly utilize in the future that would decrease vaginal irritation?
2. We did use condoms, but after two to three minutes of unprotected sex, am I at any type of risk?
3. Would my risks be elevated in the presence of blood?
3. How can I better protect myself in the future?

P.S. this is the same boyfriend I have had for over a year. His main complaint has been blueballs, is that an actual medical disorder. Please do not be too hard on me, I grew up with conservative ideals about sex and I am just writing to expand my knowledge and comprehension of sex and sexuality.
                        Thank you
                           SCREAM

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I am not an expert on sexual practices and techniques; my expertise is limited to STDs themselves.  Monkeyflower has replied below.  While I do not endorse her opinions and advice, her comments seem reasonable to me (as usual).

1) I have no opinion or advice on this.

2) Your risk depends on the likelihood your partner has an STD.  But a single episode of unprotected sex lasting only 2-3 minutes probably is low risk for all STDs.

3) I cannot comment, not knowing the source of the bleeding. If your partner has HIV, perhaps the risk was slightly eleveated.

4) Seems to me you're doing an excellent job of protecting yourself now.  You could have your partner(s) tested for STDs and HIV, but this isn't always practical.

You seem to have an inaccurate perspective on the risks and dangers associated with STDs and other health threats related to sex.  If you use common sense in selecting partners (e.g., no quick pick-ups or hops in the sack with guys you don't know) and if you consistently use condoms for vaginal (or anal) sex outside a mutually committed relationship, you can expect a lifetime of very low risk, healthy sex.  Not zero risk, but with little likelihood of any serious health threat.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[sparkeler]

Wow, why are you obsessing over std's.  Honestly he's your boyfriend!  If you don't trust him, then wear a condom ALL of the time or don't have vaginal sex with him.  Does he know you think he has std's?

[anotherdummy]

"His main complaint has been blueballs, is that an actual medical disorder."

YES!!

[monkeyflower]

I'm only going to address the comfortable sex issue.

Some ways to make intercourse more comfortable... First and most important: wait until you're fully aroused before even *thinking* about having intercourse. When you're aroused, not only do you self-lubricate, but the inner two thirds of your vagina opens up, lifting your cervix up and out of the way and allowing for deeper, more comfortable penetration. And even if you're very aroused and wet, I still recommend always using waterbased lube (if you like silicone lube, make sure you don't use it with silicone toys!). Your natural lubrication will ebb and flow, and the additional lube keeps sex comfortable and slippery. Also, some women like to come first, while others prefer to wait to come during intercourse or after... or all three ;-). I also recommend making the effort to maintain/increase your arousal during intercourse--make sure you get the kind of mental and physical stimulation you need. Some women don't find intercourse as pleasurable as other activities, lose interest, and then it begins to hurt, starting a real vicious cycle.

Also, if intercourse is painful for you, I'd suggest you take a little break and do other activities for a while. Painful intercourse can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy (it hurts, you tighten up so it hurts worse, so you tighten up more expecting more pain, etc.). Give each other oral, use toys, explore :-) Then ease your way back into intercourse when you feel more ready.

As for blue balls, it's real (although it's not exactly like it's congestive heart failure or something, lol). When guys (and women, for that matter) get aroused, more blood flows into their genitals than out. After being aroused for a while, the blood/lymphatic fluid gets sort of stagnant (for lack of a better word--I'll try to think of something more appropriate) and deprived of oxygen. That prolonged swelling is what hurts, but an orgasm'll take care of it. If you're not having intercourse, he can masturbate, or you can give him a hand or blowjob.

If you want good, honest sex (and health) related info, I like Go Ask Alice, www.goaskalice.columbia.edu. www.positive.org is okay too. I think Planned Parenthood's site is mostly okay for the basics: www.teenwire.com. I also really like www.sexuality.org for more specific info on things like erotic massage, gspot exploration, etc. In most (probably all) cases you'll probably find that the STD info on these sites is sorely lacking, but then that's why Dr. Handsfield is here :-)

[S.C.R.E.A.M]

Thank you very much,
  The reason for posing the question is that I interact with a group on my college campus called Black Women OF Today. A few girls have experienced vaginal bleeding during sex and were scared into thinking they had an STI. It turns out that it was only vaginal dryness. The reason I posed the question in the topic of safe sex was to understand how vaginal bleeding could possibly open a women up to more risk if a person had an STD or HIV. The response I received from others denoted criticism and that is why I am often afraid to post. Therefore thank you for your honesty and knoweledge and hopefully the doctors answer will correalate with your response.
                    SCREAM