HIV Prevention Community
REMINDER FROM MED HELP!
About This Community:

If you believe you have been exposed to HIV and want help to judge your risk, would like advice about HIV testing, or have questions about the effectiveness of condoms or risks associated with specific sexual practices, this is the site for you.

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REMINDER FROM MED HELP!

Dear Friends,

A little patience/compassion goes a LONG way!  Please try to respect everyone - even if you don't agree with them.  People deal with the fear of HIV in different ways.  We want everyone to feel welcome and supported in all of our forums.  

This forum is a wonderful place for sharing, caring & support - let's all work to maintain that!


Thanks for your help and cooperation!!

Cindy
Related Discussions
65 Comments Post a Comment
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229411_tn?1189759425
Is there anyway Helpasap can be deleted from the forums?
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188761_tn?1320166132
what's happened to your nick or you his brother ?
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219662_tn?1223862160
I've been watching and posting on this forum for a few months now.  In my opinion, it would be of a great benefit to the forum and its users if there was a moderator here.  There is way too much abuse going on here.
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229411_tn?1189759425
Helpasap should be the monitor.

Dont let Teak be the monitor, he will ban us all!
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219662_tn?1223862160
I would nominate Peekawho to be the moderator.
It definitely shouldn't be Teak!
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188761_tn?1320166132
Yikes !
For any one before registering to medhelp  blood donation would become mandatory
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229411_tn?1189759425
I dont think we really need a moderator, I think everyone here is ok. There are certain people that attack but once we call them out they calm down.
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229411_tn?1189759425
Peek would be a good moderator, but she would ban the worried wells. I am a major worried well. I need this forum until I get tested to keep my anxiety at bay.

Mike would be a good moderator.
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Avatar_m_tn
this forum has regressed and is completely juvenile.  No longer worth the time or energy.
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188761_tn?1320166132
No, not me make BD the mod'r
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229411_tn?1189759425
Well, if not Mike, let's hear it for Helpasap as our new moderator!
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219662_tn?1223862160
I would vote Teak over mike_no.
Well, hopefully neither ))))
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188761_tn?1320166132
Ask your friend regjoey AKA Dr. Stupid - who's a doctor but not a medical doctor but advises about HIV.

He's got some great home brewn theories about HIV and other STDs.

He's a great advisor when it comes to HIV, "Better sorry than safe" being his ideology he provides great notions to people to test out to 6 months, test out for a kissing/oral exposure etc

He also has discovered that going down on a women can't let one acquire any other STDs

So in a nut shell, he's a great personality, he's a genius, he's the modern - day Einstein, he's got great credentials of being a doc but not a medical doc but knows it all about HIV

I think, your government should actually pull him for president " Joey for president"
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229411_tn?1189759425
HAHAHA
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219662_tn?1223862160
Yep.  That's why it needs a moderator.  It shouldn't be that way.
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188761_tn?1320166132
I didn't get personal, I'm just impressed, I like it, I'm one your fan club member.

I'm talking about your achievements here, every great person deserves it !
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219662_tn?1223862160
We all give our personal opinions and advice here.
It's OK to disagree, no need to get personal.
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Avatar_n_tn
Easy on the doctor stuff.

Big Dummy, please go get tested.  I want you to... if not for you, do it for me/us?
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Avatar_n_tn
what do you mean testing for kissing/oral? thought that wasn't necessary?
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Avatar_m_tn
Not to stir the pot but Teak is the only person who seemed to attack me while I was having my problems.The rest have been ok
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Avatar_m_tn
well it seems that you are stirring the pot.  And I have gone back tto look at your posts and I see no "attacks".  Rather, you were repeatedly told that you had no risk to worry about and that you should move on.  You just wanted to continue with the "what-ifs" and the "buts".  Maybe that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it wasn't an attack.   Rather, it was sound advice that you should have heeded.
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Avatar_n_tn
Maybe....   but I think what we have here is a case of bad bed side manners.

But let us all remember the real crux of the matter. Folks come here for help, not arguments. When I was at the tip of my most scared moments, I could not even watch violence on TV. I was so saddened by how little regard people have for life.

Same here too, there are going to be lucky folks, and some un-lucky folks. Sad but true.

I think it our duty to be civil to one another as much as possible.

I too had issues with Teak, so much that he even "reported" me to the site admin. Honestly I was shocked because I didn't realy think I had provoked him. Basically things are done differently in this part of the world, and he insisted that on his side of the world things are done the "correct and only way."   Well naturally I took exception to that.

I said or typed some things that honestly, I do regret, out of retailation. Is this an apology to Teak...  No, it is not. More like an explanation or an admonition...  but that is all. We are all human, and we all need to practice respec, no matter what side of the world we are on.

I do respect Teaks level of knowledge, but ultimatley he is not a doctor within the medical profession. Even if he were, he should respect other's right to post their experiences and feelings, as we all should.

Cheers folks, and lets try to make this place a better place as much as possible. I can tell you that I have been gone for some time, and when I came back...  I noticed a decline in morale.  Sad to see, when this site is really a priveldge. I learned a lot from here.
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Avatar_m_tn
well how many times can you expect someone to respond kindly to someone who had protected sex (with a condom) that they were not at risk for HIV.  After one or two times and the person keeps coming back with ridiculous and inane "what-ifs", that tests the bounds of civility.  Frankly, I don't think many real MDs would tolerate the waste of their time or enable people with clear OCD.  And neither should we.
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Avatar_n_tn
and no one forced you to, or paid you to do so. If you respond once to the question, and you deam your response as adequate....  don't bother to respond to any other "what if scenerios."

Back in the day when I frequented this board, yes I thought that some of the question got pretty tiresome.  But hey, I left, took a break etc. That does not mean I am back for good or whatever. It is no one's duty to stay here and bare the sole burden of everyone's crissis.

I do appreciate those that have been here, but again, it is their choice to be here. If a person asks a question that they are tiresome of...  just don't respond, if you don want to "waste your time."  Rather than being rude.... not responding, seems to me, would be the easiest sollution.
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Avatar_m_tn
yup...and that's what's going to happen.  take a look at bryanle for example....he is clearly beyond help.....he keeps asking me to respond to his ridiculous questions and I refuse.  I gave him my advice and he finds no solace in that.  He needs to see a psychiatrist to address his irrational fears.  Same for alot of others.  But beyond that there is the insults and pesonal attacks that were lodged at folks like Teak and Peek that are beyond the pale.  If they leave and don't come back, this board would have lost individuals with sage advice (even though they are not doctors).  So the uninformed and ignorate can have all the fun they want trading their what-ifs with each other.
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Avatar_m_tn
I agree with you and it is sad to see the morale so low due to a few knuckleheads.  But I will disagree with one point of your analogy...most people on this board are not facing death.  They may think they are, but they really aren't.  But I don't  think that teak and peek were ever cruel to anyone.....being direct, blunt and telling people to move on and get tested or dismissing their clearly OCD driven repetitive questions is not cruel (in my mind).  But, in any event, I've chosen to stop responding to those types of questions.  Ultimately, I think we both agree that this board has lost something that made it good.  Peace!
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Avatar_n_tn
If they leave and don't come back, this board would have lost individuals with sage advice (even though they are not doctors).

This I will agree with....   I don't know what happened....   wasn't around.  

True story, some time ago a Ferry went down. As the people were swimming trying to stay alive, and escape death....

Some of the men, swimming as well attempted to, and were sucedded with some, to rape the women that were also swimming.

My point is, even in the face of death people can be cruel.  

Any how, yep I think your decission to walk away from anoying questions is the right one.


I recently asked one, and I recieved one or two responses....  wich is rather low for this board.

Like I said, the morale is low now...   sad to see.
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Avatar_m_tn
Just look at the last entry on the thread entitled:  "DEAR ALL listen to TEAK,MIKE,PEEKAWHO"  and addressed to Peek to understand why the dynamic on this board has changed.  
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Avatar_m_tn
You have no room to talk about anyone that continues to post nonsense. Go reread your posts.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hmmm Don't know what yor talking about. you must be reading others post. I am NOT one of the people with endless questions. I used this forum just as it was ment to be. I simply had fear on neede reasurence period. Regjoe was very helpful with short replies. Teak ansewr was NONE.  Big deal I needed a little more. I also psoted I knew the subject matter but neede to hear it from a few so-called experts. I paid Dr.HHH for na answer so I am not the type to continue with useless posts.

Teak on the other hand told a posted I knew nothing about testing,how does he know. I advocate the 12 week rule is B/S so what, I believe in the 6/8 week testing time. He then had the nerve when I posted an opinion [ not directed at anybody] to repost my post to  Dr.HHH in order to discredit anything I said. Why he did that baffels me. So shove and know you facts.

I have nothing against anyone here, however I am knowlegable on this subject and have used this forum in a polite mannor.
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Avatar_n_tn
They may think they are, but they really aren't.

That really does not make a difference to that specific person at that specific time... because that is their reality.  Folks need to respect that, regardless of the situation.
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Avatar_m_tn
i disagree.  If someone had protected sex (with a condom) and is worried about HIV after repeatedly being told they were not at risk, and by the way these people are also posting on The Body as ell as Aidsmeds, etc, etc, etc.  what do you think needs to be done??  And then to top it off, some of them post personal attacks, then we are waaaay beyond the mission of this board. There is clearly a mental health issue that needs to be addressed and posting ridiculous post after post is not helpful to the other legitimately worriedwell. I'm not interested in a debate....yes, perception is reality, but sometimes people need a reality check and this ain't the place for that.   A psychiatirist's office is.  This is an HIV support board. You want to answer the ridiculous who post after non-risks, and then continue to post after post after post, by all means help yourself.  As I said, I am no longer responding to those posts.  You want to talk obnixious, look at Dr. H's responses to those who continue to post ridiculous what-ifs.  He is quick to cut them off and tell them they need mental health help.  He does not suffer fools either.  Are you going to take him to task as well?  
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Avatar_m_tn
i agree with part of what you said....I don't plan on responding to people who keep posting and posting after non-risks.  That's exactly what I said in the post above.  Maybe the better informed should start the lesser informed who keep posting and posting with non-risks and ridiculous follow  ups. As for reporting people, if someone legitimately feels insulted or personally attacked, I don't see why they shouldn't report it. Different strokes....As for people who have no risks of extremely low risks, there is a board for them, it's the mental health board.  there they can discuss to their heart's content their ocd, phobia and compulsive obsession with HIV infection.
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Avatar_m_tn
meant to say:  maybe the better informed should start IGNORING the lesser informed.....
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Avatar_m_tn
That's why they have chat channels. You want to chat, then you use IM or Yahoo. This isn't the place. Then you can talk about anything you wish.  
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Avatar_m_tn
no problem...glad we could discuss the issue without any conflict, etc.  ultimately, I know you are scared but you have to realize your HIV fear is not driven by any real exposure, but rather irrational fear.  You are not doing yourself any good just hanging out here and endlessly posting about a non-risk.  Seriously, get tested and move on. Better yet, get tested, get your negative and come back to help those who are in the same boat that you are now in.  Peace
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219662_tn?1223862160
No, you don't need testing for kissing/oral.
Mike_no just made a joke
Funny ha ha ha....
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Avatar_n_tn
You want to answer the ridiculous who post after non-risks, and then continue to post after post after post, by all means help yourself.  As I said, I am no longer responding to those posts.  You want to talk obnixious, look at Dr. H's responses to those who continue to post ridiculous what-ifs.  He is quick to cut them off and tell them they need mental health help.  He does not suffer fools either.  Are you going to take him to task as well?  

As I said, if you do not want to post, don't post. Same applies to all, and in fact... here is an example:


Silence
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Avatar_m_tn
perfect,,,,now we understand each other.  Best thing I've read from you yet.
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188761_tn?1320166132
Late reaction, it took you one entire day to understand that ? *thinking*
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219662_tn?1223862160
Yes mike, just like you I spend my whole days on medhelp making up jokes.
HIV is such a hilarious subject, we need more humor here.  Thanks!
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Avatar_n_tn
Why no bigdummy anymore. He seem like nice guy.
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188761_tn?1320166132
A little rectification, HIV ain't no humor but few advisors who suggest testing out till 6 months, claim one can't acquire any std by giving oral on a woman etc definitely are.

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Avatar_m_tn
just in case the moderators cannot speak spanish:  objetoficticiogrande is spanish for big dummy.  
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Avatar_m_tn
objeto ficticio grande is big dummy. :)
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Avatar_m_tn
It didn't take anyone long to figure that one out.
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Avatar_m_tn
Which really means. large fictitious object
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Avatar_m_tn
LOL...yeah....I would have thought that the more literal translation would have been estupidogrande.  Btu objecto ficticio is even better because it means he really doesn't exist.  He should write all his posts in Spanish now.
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Avatar_n_tn
I had other name, but forget password.
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Avatar_n_tn
No, I no bigdummy. I no want to get banned. Please do no tell them I bigdummy. I must stay on forum. I pick name cuz I like bigdummy. He was very nice to me. I no want to use estupidogrande, cuz I no want people to think I bigdummy. You guys are funny. Good Luck people.
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Avatar_n_tn
Bigdummy no like you, but I like you. You are very very smart man. Thank you for what you do on board. Good Luck!!!!!


I hope Cindy no delete me. Just for liking bigdummy? Then I no like bigdummy nomore, I want to stay. Board is really helpful for questions. Bye Bye for day.
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Avatar_m_tn
Cindy will be deleting this one too. :)
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188761_tn?1320166132
Yo no dire cualquiera uno que usted es Bigdummy, el trato!
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Avatar_n_tn
No soy bigdummy.

You speak many languages Mr.Mike.
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Avatar_n_tn
No quiero ser prohibido
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Avatar_n_tn
sí, el bigdummy era gracioso. Lamento que él no estuviera aquí.

Donde hizo usted aprende el español Mike_no?
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188761_tn?1320166132
How do you know that now, I see you here for the first time

Yo no le informo, pero se que usted es BD seguramente.

BD, usted es muy chistoso. ..LOL!

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188761_tn?1320166132
El colegio, eso es donde yo lo aprendo

Pero una cosa seguramente, objetoficticiogrande = Bigdummy1/2/3
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188761_tn?1320166132
TRATARE de creer que y es la manana temprana aquí
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Avatar_n_tn
No soy  Bigdummy. Debo ir ahora. Buenas noches Sr. Mike
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229411_tn?1189759425
Why do you keep getting banned?
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