Reassurance Needed

hi doc,

first of thanks for all your guys hard work. due to my ocd i would like to have my question tailored to me.

i am 28 married, 30 days ago i went in for a massage from a male masseur who i have been to before and this time since we built better rapport and comfort level we were both naked and out of plain curiosity after mutual masturbation i ended up giving him unprotected oral sex for no longer than 30 seconds i would say probably under that. he was circumsized, he was semi errect, no visible signs of stds, and there was no precum that i can remember off and no ejaculation, i stopped after 30 seconds or so when i realized "what i am doing"? i did ask him if he was clean, and he said yes. but i started to doubt that after wondering why he even let me perform the oral sex.

after that i quickly left and went home and since then have been under constant stress and worry. im sorry its just my nature. since the incident which would be 30 days ago i have had no symptoms other then constant stress and worry. last week i had a sore throat which lasted for a day followed by upper respiratory problems like sinus, sneezing, mucous phlegm etc. i guess its the common cold and the flu/cold bug seems to be going around my area as most of the people i know are also sick , which reassures me that it isn't related to HIV and i am almost fully recovered from the cold.

the questions that i have are.

1. was i at any risk from this in regards to stds, or hiv?
2. from a risk point do i need any sort of hiv or std testing?
3. i have had some loose stools over the last few weeks and lost about 4-6lbs, i eat right and am active and go to the gym all the time, i have not lost strength, but i did lose 4-6 lbs which scares me along with the diarrhea, not sure if that is from the stress/anxiety and cold/flu i had, or early signs of ARS?

please help me put this behind me and move on. your reassurance is all i need as i have full trust in you and dr. hhh.

thx

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum.  Before I address your specific questions let me give you the facts upon which I base my answers to you.  It is unlikely your partner had HIV or any other STD. These infections are uncommon, even among commercial sex workers.  He told you he did not have infection- most people tell the truth.

Your risk for HIV is virtually zero and your risk for other STDs is small.  The quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex.  Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex.  As for other STDs, unless your partner had a genital lesion, and you would have noticed, your only risk from performing oral sex on him is for gonorrhea and that is tiny.

Let's work through your questions.

1  see above. No appreciable risk for HIV and a very, very small risk of oral gonorrhea.
2.  No HIV testing needed.  I doubt that oral testing for gonorrhea is needed.  (BTW, oral gonorrhea is typically asymptomatic.  I doubt that your current sore throat is gonorrhea. If you wish to be tested you need to go to an STD Clinic or other location where a gonorrhea test can be taken from your throat.
3.  These symptoms are likely to reflect either your anxiety or, perhaps the same non-HIV viral illness that is causing your sore throat.  

I hope this helps.  EWH

[ocdworrywart]

thanks for your answer i was waiting so patiently.

my only follow up question is, if i was to see symptoms of gonorrhea how soon would it happen, like would it take 30 days for it to happen if it was symptomatic? if my sore throat isn't due to gonorrhea is it likely that later on gonorrhea can cause problems or will it remain asymptomatic.?

lastly i just want to ask you i don't have hiv, and don't need to worry about testing and can move on with life? do u agree?

thanks u wont know how much u helped me doc.

[ocdworrywart]

sorry my last follow up in regards to your answer above.

1. if i was to see symptoms of gonorrhea how soon would it happen, like would it take 30 days for it to happen if it was symptomatic?

2. dr. hhh says oral gonorrhea only causes sore throat as the only symptom, where mine lasted a day and then had stuffy nose so it probably isn't gonorrhea do u agree?

3. left untreated he says it clears up on its own in 12 weeks, is this correct, and if left untreated will it cause any complications?

4. lastly i just want to confirm again. I "do not" have HIV, and don't need to worry about testing and can move on with my life? do u agree?

thanks u wont know how much u helped me doc.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Why do your ask the question repeatedly?  It won't change my answer or when you get it.

1.  I said gonorrhea is typically asymptomatic.  That means that symptoms are not going to occur in the unlikely circumstnace that you have gonorrhea.

2.  Correct. It sounds like a cold.  But you are taking Dr, Handsfield's comment out of context.  He is the one who did the study which shows that gonorrhea of the throat is typically asymptomatic.  

3.  Did you think he was lying? I won't dignify this question with an answer to verify your quotation of Dr. Handsfield.  Complications of oral gonorrhea are not typically a problem.

4.  What did you not understand about my statment "No HIV testing needed."?  Seems clear to me.

Clearly, from your follow-ups, your anxiety is a larger problem for you than your risk for HIV or for STDs.  I hope my comments will help you move forward.  EWH

[ocdworrywart]

thanks dr. they have helped me move forward i promise.