Risk of HIV exposure

Thank you in advance for your help. I am incredibly stressed and frightened right now. I recently had a sexual encounter that may have exposed me to HIV and I proceeded to potentially expose my wife and child. I have never found myself in this position and did some incredibly stupid and selfish things. The act was with a man of whose history I do not know nor can I find out. The amount of contact was brief involving hands and some oral sex. Exposure would have been to preseminal fluid and saliva as far as I know. I realize from reading the forum that oral sex has a reduced risk but could really use some insights and information. 3 days later I had vaginal sex with my wife and we did not use a condom for the first 10 minutes. I feel I must have been in denial to have done something so horrible. I finally broke down after about another day and 1/2. In the interim my wife was breast feeding. I have told my wife and we are starting counseling. During the stress I did have soem penile irritation and have seen a physicain. Nothing apeared a wry but I am waiting results on gonereah/clamydia. Here are my primary questions.
1. What is my likelyhood of exposure?
2. More importantly what is the likelyhood for the others?
3. Others cites (CDC) seem to indicate a greater risk for oral exposure than your does. I worry I am finding confifdence in yours since its what I desperately want to hear. Any advice on further research.
4. i am currently scheduled to have an HIV test on the 26th day of exposure. The lab says the results will be available in 2-5 days post. i also intend to test at three months. Does this schedule seem appropriate? i have found some information on a test that can be performed earlier (RNA) and that some regular tests can have quicker results. Are the other tests as reliable?.
I really appreciate any help or advice, especially for my family.

[LIZZIE LOU]

if you did not have penetrative anal sex, you were not at risk.

[LIZZIE LOU]

should have read "unprotected" anal

[stressedandconcerned]

I appreciate that some of these questions have been answered before but I am really at the end of my rope especially about my wife and child. Thanks