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Scared - HIV
Hello. I have extremely high anxiety in general, but more over this topic. Amost 13 years ago I had a boyfriend who said he was clean but I am not sure. We had protected vaginal sex, no anal, but unprotected oral. He never came in my mouth. I have been married for 5 years and my husband has never had signs. My concern is that sometime either during the relationship or after bf adn I broke up, I got a rash on my chest. I recall it itching, being given a prescription and it cleared right up. I cannot remember the timeline when I got it. It could have been anytime. I have a tendency to get hives. BF and I were together for almost 3 months, both in mid 20's.
In the past 12.5 years, I don't recall any symptoms except that possible rash and severe anxiety. I had a normal pap 3 years ago and no other std's or anything were found. I currently experience hives and itchy/tingly skin, but i have rarely been sick. I am so scared that I have put my family in danger b/c I am scared to test. Please help.
In the past 12.5 years, I don't recall any symptoms except that possible rash and severe anxiety. I had a normal pap 3 years ago and no other std's or anything were found. I currently experience hives and itchy/tingly skin, but i have rarely been sick. I am so scared that I have put my family in danger b/c I am scared to test. Please help.
Reread the thread acadia, the only unprotected vaginal sex she ever had was with her current husband, and assuming he does not have HIV, she could not have caught it from him. Previously, the only unprotected oral she gave was from her ex.
Also read the Dr.'s forums. They consistently state that the larger consensus among experts is that oral transmission with someone KNOWN TO BE HIV + is 1 in 10,000 (i.e. virtually no risk), that they consider these odds to be conservative (i.e. the chances of contracting are lower), and that in fact they believe there to be zero risk based on the fact that they have not seen a single credible documented case where transmission had occurred.
Also read the Dr.'s forums. They consistently state that the larger consensus among experts is that oral transmission with someone KNOWN TO BE HIV + is 1 in 10,000 (i.e. virtually no risk), that they consider these odds to be conservative (i.e. the chances of contracting are lower), and that in fact they believe there to be zero risk based on the fact that they have not seen a single credible documented case where transmission had occurred.
Teak,
You have answered a few of my questions, which I am grateful for, however - I am noticing that, while reading questions that others have posted, you tend to say that virtually everyone who has a concern that they may have contracted the virus - that they have no risk. This woman above stated that she had unprotected vaginal sex, is that not putting yourself at risk for having transmitted HIV? I understand that oral sex is a low risk factor as well, but she did state that she also participated in that as well, which could potentially be a risk factor. I am not trying to dispute the validity of your suggestions and expertise, but I do pose you this question-
If unprotected vaginal sex is (according to you) NOT a potential exposure from male(her boyfriend)-to female(herself), as well as unprotected oral sex not being an exposure - then what can we consider to be an potential exposure or risk factor?
You have answered a few of my questions, which I am grateful for, however - I am noticing that, while reading questions that others have posted, you tend to say that virtually everyone who has a concern that they may have contracted the virus - that they have no risk. This woman above stated that she had unprotected vaginal sex, is that not putting yourself at risk for having transmitted HIV? I understand that oral sex is a low risk factor as well, but she did state that she also participated in that as well, which could potentially be a risk factor. I am not trying to dispute the validity of your suggestions and expertise, but I do pose you this question-
If unprotected vaginal sex is (according to you) NOT a potential exposure from male(her boyfriend)-to female(herself), as well as unprotected oral sex not being an exposure - then what can we consider to be an potential exposure or risk factor?
Nellie,
You have 2 paths 1) stop worrying about it b/c you never had a risk, 2) get tested b/c although you never had a risk, your mind won't let you drop it and so you need proof. I'd go with 2 b/c it seems 1 is not an option for you
You have 2 paths 1) stop worrying about it b/c you never had a risk, 2) get tested b/c although you never had a risk, your mind won't let you drop it and so you need proof. I'd go with 2 b/c it seems 1 is not an option for you
Thank you. I did have another partner, but he was a virgin and not an IV drug user, so I am not worried about that. It was always protected sex.
Thats very admirable, and when I said incident I meant the whole relationship. No your post was very clear and I think that you should go with your husband and get it done so you can put it behind you and move on with your life. My opinion remains the same, and now I know that you've had only one partner besides your husband it just confims what I already thought, therres no way you have HIV.
You're fine,
Good Luck and Try not worry about it!!
You're fine,
Good Luck and Try not worry about it!!
I hope that my original post wasn't unclear. I didn't mean to make it sound like we had sex one time. That's why I said we were together for a few months. I have never had unprotected sex with anyone but my husband.
Lanvin, thank you. That is what my husband wants me to do as well. It wasn't one incident though - like I said, he was my boyfriend from a couple months and I probably did oral on him several times.
If that was the only incident then you never had a risk. I understand how it can crop up, but the fear is irrational. I went through something similar and alwasy had fears but would never test and when I finally did and it was negative, I never thought about it again. The only way to negate the irrationality is a test.
No you don't NEED it becasue you weren't at risk, but if it can give you peace from a lifetime of cropping up anxiety then its worth it. DO you have a doctor you can trust? Its great you can talk to your husband about it , go together and get a rapid test so you can find out immediatley. And you can move on , just think you can be mentally free of HIV fear!
No you don't NEED it becasue you weren't at risk, but if it can give you peace from a lifetime of cropping up anxiety then its worth it. DO you have a doctor you can trust? Its great you can talk to your husband about it , go together and get a rapid test so you can find out immediatley. And you can move on , just think you can be mentally free of HIV fear!
Remembering that rash from some point is what scared the hell out of me. I don't want to have ruined my family's lives.
lanvin,
I am not just now thinking about it. It is something that crops up from time to time and with my anxiety I get paralyzed at the thought of a test. My rational mind knows it's stupid to be afraid, but my worries get the better of me. My old BF from then is the only risk, yes.
I am not just now thinking about it. It is something that crops up from time to time and with my anxiety I get paralyzed at the thought of a test. My rational mind knows it's stupid to be afraid, but my worries get the better of me. My old BF from then is the only risk, yes.
Was that your only exposure years ago? Have you ever been tested for HIV? Why are you just now thinking about? I think it would be very unlikely for you to have HIV and not have any symptoms for 13 years. It sound like your anxiety is getting the best of you. Don't ever be afraind to take a test, I understand its scary, but in your case you shouldn't be. If you feel like you want to though ,to ease your mind, talk to your doctor about it and see what he or she says. Some doctors will not recommend a test if you have no risk , but in your case of extreme anxiety it may help to see a negative result.
Some people might tell you that if you have no risk not to take a test for risk of a false positive, but the modern HIV testing are extremely accurate, and are repeated and confirmed with a WB test. So if you're going to be stressed out for years or months to come, I would think it might be helpful for you to go ahead and get it over with. If it were me I know it would help.
I would talk to your doctor, and maybe also about your anxiety.
However, with all that being said its in my opinion that you do not have HIV.
Some people might tell you that if you have no risk not to take a test for risk of a false positive, but the modern HIV testing are extremely accurate, and are repeated and confirmed with a WB test. So if you're going to be stressed out for years or months to come, I would think it might be helpful for you to go ahead and get it over with. If it were me I know it would help.
I would talk to your doctor, and maybe also about your anxiety.
However, with all that being said its in my opinion that you do not have HIV.
I also have pretty chapped lips that bleed sometimes, so that worried me too.
I appreciate the quick response. my husband thinks I am crazy and it is just my anxiety talking, but I am very concerned b/c I can't recall when that rash was. it is possible it was during the serioconversion time. If I did have HIV would have have gotten pretty sick by now, almost 13 years later? I also read that skin conditions can be a factor.
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