Scared - oral sex at massage parlor

[saddep]

I am scared out of my mind after a tremendous lapse in judgment where I accepted oral sex at a massage parlor. The masseuse used a condom. However, I had shaved my pubic area a couple of hours prior. Could I have been infected despite the condom and because of the shaved (and likely scraped) skin? I can't recall too much saliva from the masseuse dripping on my skin, but I can't be sure.

I am terrified now that I may have put myself at risk for HIV/STD and have not slept for the since the incident (3 days ago). I plan to get tested now and again after 3 months, but I am just feeling ashamed and depressed at my once in lifetime stupidity. I am Male, 42 and married and have never had any other partner.

Please advise me on my risk for HIV or any STD. Thanks with all sincerity.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the HIV forum.

There was absolutely no risk of HIV from this event and "scared out of my mind" is an unwarranted reaction.  The very low risk of catching HIV by mouth-to-penis transmission (maybe no risk at all) has been discussed innumerable times on this forum -- and that's without condoms. With a condom, there simply was no possible chance of HIV, even if your massage parlor partner is infected -- which is unlikely.  Condoms also are 100% protective against any and all other STDs besides HIV.  There is no increased risk due to recent shaving of the pubic area.

Most likely the main problem here is revealed by your closing comments:  you probably are feeling guilty over your sexual indiscretion, which is inflating your fears of infection.  You should be having no such fears.  From a risk-evaluation standpoint, you do not need to be tested for HIV or any other STDs.  But if it will help you get beyond your fears, feel free to get tested in 6-8 weeks.  You don't need to wait 3 months for accurate testing.

Really, stop worrying about this.  There is no chance of HIV or any other STD.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[saddep]

Dear Dr. HHH,

Thanks for the logical analysis. I do agree that my fear and shame are driving my reactions.

I was worried about accidental exposure to saliva on my shaved skin or through the urethra (which might have been inflamed as I had recent incidence of UTI). I am hoping that the condom kept all saliva at bay. But if some did get near/into the urethra, is there a chance of infection?

Thanks

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Saliva does not transmit HIV.  Even without condoms, the estimated risk of HIV transmission by oral-penile contact, if your partner had HIV, is around once for every 20,000 exposures.  That's equivalent to receiving a BJ once daily by infected partners for 55 years.  And it is the very rare massage worker who has HIV.

So stop looking for reasons that you might have been at risk.  You were not.