Scared about acquiring HIV from prostitute

[BatsiTown]

1. I am the dumbest person alive
2. I made one mistake that I am never going to do again for the rest of my life, and I am also going to regret it until the day I die…here is the story (as brief as I can make it)….

I am a heterosexual male in his mid 30s, married for 3 years with no kids. I am well educated, and have always been the “smart one” when it comes to refraining from nonsensical activities. I am a resident of New York, and was out on the west coast (San Francisco) for business when I went to a “massage parlor”. Generally, I know that these parlors usually involve a massage (which is what I actually wanted) and (possibly) a happy ending (which I wouldn’t have minded, but honestly didn’t care either way).

Long story short, I get there, and things start getting interesting. I start getting a massage, and the girl start rubbing my stuff from behind, and then starts licking my anus. Obviously, it was arousing. The next thing I knew, I was flipped over and she was sucking me. Now, if you are a guy, and everyone knows as well as I do, it is extremely hard to stop someone that is doing that…however, I managed to stop it after about 10 seconds. The next thing I know, she puts a condom on, and jumps on top of me without asking (yes, I am telling the truth…however, I am not completely innocent, I couldn’t have easily stopped her….again, very hard to do). After about (I would say…30 seconds or so, I finished, inside her, with the condom on). Condom came off, I paid, I left…

After leaving, my guilty conscience started (as well as the fear of having contracting something). I then immediately went to the ER and told the doctor what happened. At that point, I was given some strong antibiotics and tested for Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and something else what I could not recall. (Just for the record, that swab they give you for the testing...Wow...that hurt like hell!) The doctor advised, however, that he could not test for HIV due to the fact that I would need counseling, etc.

A few days later, I called in for my tests, and everything was negative (thank God!). About 2 weeks (10 days) after the “contact”, I then took one of those take home HIV test…negative. The week after that (last week) I took one that my doctor administered (I was scheduled for my yearly physical anyway)…negative. It’s been about 24 days since my encounter, and I have not been able to sleep, and when I do sleep, I keep having nightmares about infecting my wife, ruining my life, and basically killing myself in the event that I have contracted a deadly which I could spread to my family from one stupid encounter that would never happen again!

I have had no symptoms since except for a small canker sore in my mouth, which has subsequently healed (I think it may have been a result of “pinching” or something during a dental cleaning).

So, now I spend all my times reading up on this, and everything I have done appears to be low risk. However, I can’t help but feel that I need to be punished for what I did, and I should not be allowed to get away with this. I should discuss with my wife, but I can’t let this once incident that I am never going to do again ruin the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It’s also going to kill me if I have to wait another 6 months to “be in the clear” … At this point, I will be taking tests every week or so… Should I continue? When should I stop getting tested?

Please give one stupid individual some advice before I wind up doing something stupid….

While I know this is a very serious disease, I was “protected”, and I really hate my childhood inner city school public education and the media for making me paranoid…

Thanks!

[confusedguy29]

Okay, thanks for your reply Nick.

[NickOne7]

They are stating risk in "Theory" - Not real risk

Here is some quotes from the HIV Experts on medhelp

There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANSFIELD

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANSFIELD

"I am sure you can find lots of people who belive that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA

"The observation on thousand and thousand of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort)." DR HOOK

[confusedguy29]

Howcome you people believe cdc.gov when it comes to condoms, but not when it comes to oral sex? According to cdc.gov you can  get HIV from unprotected oral sex:

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/transmission.htm

"Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through performing or receiving oral sex, though it is a less common mode of transmission than other sexual behaviors (anal and vaginal sex). There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV. While no one knows exactly what the degree of risk is, evidence suggests that the risk is less than that of unprotected anal or vaginal sex.

If the person performing oral sex has HIV, blood from their mouth may enter the body of the person receiving oral sex through
the lining of the urethra (the opening at the tip of the penis);
the lining of the vagina or cervix;
the lining of the anus; or
directly into the body through small cuts or open sores.

If the person receiving oral sex has HIV, their blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), or vaginal fluid may contain the virus. Cells lining the mouth of the person performing oral sex may allow HIV to enter their body.

The risk of HIV transmission increases
if the person performing oral sex has cuts or sores around or in their mouth or throat;
if the person receiving oral sex ejaculates in the mouth of the person performing oral sex; or
if the person receiving oral sex has another sexually transmitted disease (STD)."

[joggen]

There is absolutely nothing mysterious about CORRECT condom usage that would NOT allow the risk assessors here to make a proper assessment. CORRECT condom usage essentially means absolutely NO PENETRATION without a condom and using proper procedures to prevent breakage or slippage (including upon withdrawal). With respect to the original poster's concerns, CSWs in massage parlors and brothels in San Franscisco are HIGHLY KNOWLEDGEABLE about proper condom usage. It is perfectly SAFE to assume that in the context of commercial sex work the condom was used CORRECTLY as the LIVES of these sex workers depends on that. And as condom breakage is HIGHLY NOTICEABLE to the wearer since condoms fail CATASTROPHICALLY, it is SAFE to assume that a condom remains intact throughout intercourse when no breakage is reported. An intact condom is 100% BIOLOGICAL EFFECTIVE against the transmission of HIV- the virus simply CANNOT penetrate an intact condom. Whatever your personal experience has been with condoms regarding pregnancy, it should not be used as a basis for advising others on their HIV risk.

Your general point that intentions for correct condom use don't always work out has some validity but for specific cases I don't think it's correct to suggest to somebody that their sex may have been unsafe when there is no evidence in their post to support that, and my concern about such unfounded assumptions is that they just creates unnecessary anxiety for the poster. The doctors on the HIV Prevention Expert forum recommend periodic (e.g. annual for most people) testing of EVERYBODY who is sexually active (even people who claim to consistently and correctly use condoms) to account for the issue that you have raised, but would never suggest that somebody needs to test over a specific incident of condom-protected sex.

[lanvin]

Jusst for the record it is my opinion that when used correctly everytime condoms are highly effective , yes!!!

[lanvin]

Since none of us are present at the time of these incidents , none of us can guarantee their protected sex was 100% safe. I always thought I used them correctly. So do most people.