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Should I seek out PEP?

Hello, and thank you for your kind consideration in reading this.
Last night, its been about 14 hours,
I penetrated an HIV+ man in unprotected sex.
I did not ejaculate, and the duration of our actual intercourse was about 10 min total.
I also performed oral sex on him, and am almost sure that he pre-ejaculated into my mouth.

my questions are
it is saturday, my std clinic is closed until monday, should I seek out PEP right away?
if not PEP, is there another treatment or test I should seek out immediately?
after the oral sex, I rinsed my mouth with anti-biotic mouthwash, would this help?


37 Responses
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10947 tn?1281404252
Enough of this post. This has gone seriously off-topic and offended many of you and other members. worriedinbrooklyn received plenty of good advice to act on, so from a support standpoint this post has done it job. Please move on or we will need to delete the post entirely which we'd rather not do for worriedinbrooklyn's sake.

MedHelp
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Avatar universal
You have a nice day too.
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I guess, I would not have expected that reply from her. Have a nice day, I see you too are up early.
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I love everyone!
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>So if I can't assume that he is married/in a relationship,some of you should quit >assuming that is he sorry/racked with guilt/and traumatized.YOU don't know that either >do you?

Well, to this all I have to say is that the concept of charitable behavior should apply to any conversation. In my opinion, you will probably catch more flies with honey than vinegar. So, I will prefer to be charitable in my assessment of any given poster until said poster proves that I should not. Perhaps I am a deluded Pollyanna in that regard, but my own experiences seem to suggest I am not, for the most part.

So, yes, I do not know whether said poster was sorry, or wracked with guilt, or truly regretted his decision. You are correct. But, I do not think that, because he did not state this explicitly, he is then automatically to be assumed to be someone who would casually acquire HIV and then merrily re-infect others (such as, let us say, an unsuspecting spouse). To assume the best of someone, in light of a certain paucity of facts, seems a more charitable way to deal with posters here, and, it is my belief, the charitable approach seems to work better than the angry or condemning approach.

You did seem to have a visceral reaction to the post. You yourself claimed that you were "p1ssed off". And I assume you were angry based on your own experiences, which you brought up, unprompted. Well, let me be the second or third to say, your experience with your ex truly sucked, and probably nothing to be ashamed off that it still resonates with you in some way. It certainly would me. Seems only nature and only human.

To sum up, I have no wish to attack you personally, I only have a disagreement over the manner in which you decided to handle an educational opportunity. So, we disagree, not the end of the world, reasonable people do it all the time all over the world.

BTW, you say you have researched this issue because you are curious why you did not acquire HIV. You should consider sharing the results of your research with others here, perhaps in a separate thread, as it may just do some good.
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Avatar universal
Ok, maybe nevermindu vented her feelings on the wrong thread but nonetheless, her story is one that needs to be told-which brings me to the point that maybe we need a forum here where people can discuss the phychological aspects of human sexual behavior-why people do the things they do when it comes to sex,
-whether straight , gay, or bi.
For instance, if you look way back within this thread I asked for my own curiousity about the psyche behind bi-sexual behavior.
Longone responded with his interpretation as follows (an excerpt):

"You sound like a women so I doubt you will understand but men, alot of them simply need more sex than one women will provide period. In fact, even if she does provide it, alot of men will still have a need to stray,obviously not all but a significant number.  So some men and I would say the older ones get themselves in to a Bi situation and find sex easy and enjoyable so there goes the constant horneyness they are plagued with. It is purly physical with most Bi guy's and after that they go on with their normal live. I could go on and on but that's an overview."

I found this to be an interesting observation and I'm sure if it was not posted on this particular thread more people would have responses.  This way people wouldn't have to bash each others behavior, but just give opinions based on experiences or observations. Any takers?
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Avatar universal
.
"Many Christian sects, in my experience, try to shove their religion down other peoples throats.'

This country was founded by Christians is it so hard to understand that prayer in school was a standard long before Jews and Moslems demanded equal time?  As far as jamming their belief down your throat I guess that’s better than being beheaded!!

Just a though; had you and I followed the true principals of the traditional Christian religion, both of us would have saved ourselves and others a lot of pain.
  
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Avatar universal
Take it how you want.  I, and apprently along with others, saw your post as very harsh.  A personal conversation is easier to "get" than text on a screen.

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Avatar universal
You hit the nail right on the head this time.I am ABSOLUTELY perfect.Thanks for letting me clear that up.

Chris-you and I did nothing to feel bad about.These other folks heads are so thick they don't get what my point is and frankly I feel like a broken record.So unless someone has something ORIGINAL and INTERESTING to say I'm done.I stand behind my posts 100%.
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Avatar universal
Chris,
this is the internet.  Tones cannot be "heard".  Its all about interpretation.
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Avatar universal
I don't know who I will vote for! Dems not looking good, Reps not looking good. Its pretty sad when you have to think to yourself "This one sucks, and this one sucks, but this one doesn't suck as bad as that one"
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Avatar universal
Good old fashioned debate, no better way to disseminate knowledge and have people remember it!
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I'm beginning to think it was a hoax also and the dude is just sitting back laughing at us going at each other on the forum.Well,if we've managed to entertain him good for us.
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good one! I have a much bigger list, but this box only holds 8,000 characters.
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oh yeah! Get rid of media!
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Avatar universal
God in school, the spanking of children, and the dismissal of lawyers. This world would be perfect!
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Avatar universal
Even though this is not a real post hence no comment returns to anyone, I would like to add my two cents. This poster said he penetrated an hiv+ person last noght approximately 14 hours ago. This means That either he didn't ask the guys status until later or he had unprotected sex knowing the guy was HIV+. Although many did criticize his judgment, they also did say PEP may be warranted. Regardless! TRUTH HURTS "It was a very stupid mistake" and it needs to be said over and over again. I agree with chris and all others that stated it. Accidental is one thing ex. condom breaking, but unprotected sex with a person of unknown status is STUPID. I would say the same thing if the GUY was a FEMALE. This scenario (this person needs to know they were dumb).
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Avatar universal
Just as I don't know whether he is married or in a relationship,NONE of you know if he's really sorry  or that he is experiencing trauma.Maybe,he is a risk taker and enjoys living on the edge.So if I can't assume that he is married/in a relationship,some of you should quit assuming that is he sorry/racked with guilt/and traumatized.YOU don't know that either do you?
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Avatar universal
'To the poster, the statistics indicate that insertive anal isn't much more of a risk than insertive vaginal, so while PEP is warranted, if you did infact get it, there's an extremely strong chance you'll come out of this ok. I certainly hope you do'.

There you are; my advice to the poster. And I'm not looking for reasons to ***** about others. Sometimes it's impossible not to intervene. I came to this site looking for support and I found it. I feel really lucky. I did a very stupid thing; something I'm not proud of and something I'll regret for the rest of my life (cheating on my spouse). I don't need to be told that. I know it already. I needed advice and support, just like this poster did. However, he was told twice and with great fervour that he had been stupid. First of all, how does this help? The question he asked about was should he get PEP. I'm sure if someone is beginning to realize that he's going to need a course of anti-retrovirals with side effects so bad that his last hangover will begin to seem like a cool sea breeze, there ain't no need for moralising lectures on the stupidity of his actions.

What I don't understand is how you could bypass the trauma that this person, rightly or wrongly, has gotten himself into, to wonder how he could have been so stupid? And how you could think this is appropriate behaviour? There are some wonderful people on this site; their work is being undone by this pointless moralising. That's why I decided to make my point.

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Avatar universal
I have to agree with guiltnworry and Xhost here. Way, way too many people are making judgement calls about people who they don't know, and who are extremely frightened. It extends beyond that too, to laughing about people who clearly have problems accepting the no risk situations they found themselves in and those who question the rationality of their actions(myself included). The poster made a MISTAKE - and I've yet to meet someone who never has - and came, peacefully and politely, for advice - and was met with howls of disgust and contempt. That's not what this forum should be about. It's about helping each other. Like Xhost and guiltnworry do, each and every time they respond to someone. This should never be about whether what someone did was right or wrong (unless of course the poster is advocating bug chasing or something similar), it should be about providing support. I'm new to all this but taking out your own personal beliefs on someone who is understandably terrified is no help to anyone including yourself. Furthermore, if you read his post, it doesn't even clearly state WHEN he found out his partner's status. He may have found out after the fact. In any case it's irrelevant; he needed advice and got abuse.

To the poster, the statistics indicate that insertive anal isn't much more of a risk than insertive vaginal, so while PEP is warranted, if you did infact get it, there's an extremely strong chance you'll come out of this ok. I certainly hope you do
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Avatar universal
This is a forum for people who want to assess their risks.  We don't need people like you bashing them.  You selectively quoted only part of the title and forum description.  Here is what it actually says:

If you believe you have been exposed to HIV and want help to judge your risk, would like advice about HIV testing, or have questions about the effectiveness of condoms or risks associated with specific sexual practices, this is the site for you.

This poster knew he had been exposed to HIV and wanted to judge his risk.  He asked for advice and he got it.  I'm sorry your husband cut out on you, but don't come onto this forum and bash posters who clearly have legitimate questions.  Everyone is not in your situation and he said nothing about a wife or girlfriend to bring it back to.  Obviously, he knows his risk was high, he doesn't need you downgrading his decision, he asked for help.  Start your own thread about people cutting out on their wives if you feel the need to do so.  
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Avatar universal

Well, not to get into a flame war here, but, it just seems to me the original poster came asking for advice, which, thankfully, he was given. It also seems to me that we know very little about the person other than what he has chosen to tell us. We are not even certain that the person he had sex with truly was HIV positive - it may an incorrect assumption on the part of the poster.

So, we do not know if he has a family, or children, or a girlfriend or in any type of monogamous relationship. We also do not know how this person is feeling at this point. One of the things mentioned that you find so distasteful is his cavalier attitude. But, you are assuming that he could care less one way or the other if he is infected. You also make a bit of a logical jump in also assuming that he has a wife that he will immediately go back and have sex with, thus potentially exposing her to the virus.

I submit you don't know anything about this person, yet you feel free to to provide your indignant outrage at his situation. It is quite possible, and just as likely, that he feels awful, and that he's scared and he's worried and generally freaked out. It is also equally likely that he already knows he's made a mistake. And if this is so, well, I cannot imagine it does much good to have someone berate you for having made the mistake. Such is life, we all make mistakes and then, hopefully, we learn from them and move on.

But, as you so rightly pointed out, you may certainly post what you wish. You have my opinion on the matter, and so you will take it for what it's worth. And, the last line of your post is true, as it behooves us all to make smart decisions when expressing our sexuality. Would that it were we all made 100% correct and appropriate choices in our lives, all the time. But, we don't, which is why many of us wound up on a site such as this in the first place. Perhaps it is why you are here as well?
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Avatar universal
Since this is an open forum I can say what I feel.Those are MY feelings.I also make a good point even tho you don't seem to care.I haven't constructed anyones life.He goes out does what he does and then comes on here and says "oh do you think maybe I should I should seek help?" HOW ABOUT BEING SMART ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL CHOICES
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Avatar universal

>Oops.Anyway,its his cavalier attitude that pi$$es me off.Just because he doesn't mention a wife or significant other doesn't mean he doesn't have one.

Nor does it mean he does. If his cavalier attitude is hurting anyone, it's himself. Of course it is not wise to engage in unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive. But, you've constructed this whole life for the guy based on an 8 line post, and then you berate him based on the details of that life. Doesn't seem fair or warranted.
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