Suspected HIV transmission - end result negative

[dc man]

On Dec5 I had sex outside of marriage. There was unprotected oral sex, and protected vaginal sex for 2 hrs-multiple times, 1 of which was unprotected vaginal for 10 min and juices were astray. Next day I slept with my wife, who a few days later complained of awful vaginal pains and bleeding.  My internet research concluded that I contracted Chlamydia and transmitted to wife.  Next day Doc tested me for everything under the sun. I did contract Chlamydia which he treated me for; HIV was neg (6 days). I told wife and was nearly kicked out of the house. My body was aching so much I could barely walk. I fell asleep at work from fatigue, armpits were sore, throat felt so lumpy that I could hardly swallow, nausea, diarrhea, and headaches everyday. Noticed a huge lump in my armpit so large that it could be seen when just raising my arm – like a golf ball. I realized that these were all HIV symptoms-I was sure I had it.  I took a 7 wk test - my blood pressure was 158/95 before he told me that I was NEG. I was calm for weeks. Then my wife started getting diarrhea,headaches and nausea, as well as my breastfed infant. Now I thought that I gave HIV to both, and when I came to this board, I realized that there are still organizations who think a 6 week test for healthy people is not conclusive; I was petrified. On monday I mailed in for a home access test (12wks), next day results = negative. I’ll now continue to rebuild the marriage that I nearly destroyed, but the 2nd HIV test was unnecessary according to most respected HIV specialists and just added unneeded anxiety. Hope this helps.

[wombat72]

Great news dc, congrats on the neg-.
I am in the same situation as you mate, except I have to wait another 10 days to go for a 28 day DUO test for a little peace of mind. I also told my wife about what I had done and if it wasn`t for the kids, would have been kicked out. I am sure over time our relationship will mend as will yours. Just hoping for that negative result to come around the corner soon. All the best.

[dc man]

Not to change the theme of this thread, but I feel that my near destruction of my marriage lead to all my HIV like symptoms.  Stress is more powerful than most of us think.  I also think that our two young children kept me from being kicked out.  I can't be more thankful that my wife is giving me a second chance.  It's been 12 weeks since I told her.  I spent 2 weeks on the sofa/guest room.  We've done a little marriage counciling which was helpful.  Today, i think our relationship is extremely strong, but my affair will always be on her mind, but hopefully just further back in her head.  I feel a little bit guilty, but my wife spurged on a nice wardrobe of sexy lingerie and has become a sex goddess - hope it lasts.  I'm so connected to my wife now that I can't think of anyone else.  

[sparkeler]

Was it a long term affair or just a one night stand?

[dc man]

It was a one time affair, which greatly helped my case, except for the fact that I have to rebuild her trust that I could never do something so spontaneous again.  It has been a very hard process, but I'm confident that we will emerge stronger.    To keep with the theme of this thread, I must say that my fear of HIV just hampered my efforts to rebuild my marriage.  She could tell something was wrong with me, but I couldn't tell her.  So much for being totally honest with each other, but I felt this required an exception.  But it is such a huge weight off my shoulders not worrying about HIV anymore.  Now I look back and punch myself for not believing how hard it is to really catch HIV.  Next week we are going on vacation to her home in Latin America and have several getaways planned w/o the kids.  The counselor agrees that this alone time is very helpful in growing a couple again.  The entrance of kids in our lives is the best thing that ever happened to us, but it can really test your marriage because things change so much.  My wife lost interest in sex for months and I never told her how bothered I was, and instead just strayed from my wife for relief.

[o_g]

Congrats on your results!!!!
I wish you the best for the future and hope ur wife can let it go sooner than later...