TEAK

[cwa]

Teak do you still beleive that i dont even need any testing, I think that when i posted that question last night asking about nodes and stuff i think its just all because of anxiety. I think that i was just thinking about the nodes all day thus i thought that they were getting swollen and stuff.  When i said that i thought i was getting a fever cause i thought i felt warm, i dont know cause about 45 minutes later i felt fine. I think i just had a very small headache but im sure no fever.   Can fever start to come and then just go away less than an hour later. What do you think.

[farfromperfect]

Hello brother.  I see that you, like me, are not doing so well with all of this anxiety.  In fact, I would say that you and I are contendors for the top two worried people on this forum.  The thing is, you really have nothing to worry about if your bottle incident is the only thing that you have going on.  I am not chastising you in any way.  Believe me I know that it is horrible to go through all of this suffering.  Fear of the unknown has always been a terrible thing for mankind to face, and neither of us know what our status is.  I just thought I would write you in hopes that I could put your risk in perspective.  I never have desired anything in my bum (not that there is anything wrong with that), but I would trade exposures with you and give you $10,000 dollars to boot.  You have no risk of HIV from this.  I have felt really bad for you for all of the months that I have been visiting this forum.  I have a lot of the very same physical symptoms that you do.  The only difference is that I had a real risk.  I too can not explain what is going on in my body. I know i am truly more stressed, anxious, and depressed than I ever have been in my whole life.  It seems that you are too.  I am not going to sit here and blame anxiety for what I/we feel because I don't know how all of that stuff works but the symptoms of anxiety match very closely to what we both feel.  I have took a 6 week test and it was negative.  I almost had a meltdown in the clinic waiting for the results.  The nurse actually had me sit in a room close to where she was working so she could check on me every 3 or 4 minutes because she feared I would pass out.  Time for my 12 week test is drawing very near.  I won't even say when for fear of somehow jinxing it.  My friend, you do not have HIV from this incident.  I know how I feel.  I am watching life pass me by. This beautful weather, I cannot enjoy.  My family, I can not cherrish like I want to. My work means nothing to me.  I am completely consumed with this fear.  I obsess over every thing that happens to me.  I feel that it is too late for me.  The reason why I bring this up is because I know you probably feel the same way I do.  The thing is, you have no reason to.  You could be taking advantage of all of those things that I want to enjoy.  You could set yourself free if you try.  Give yourself permission to let this go.  Drop down on your knees and say thank you God for giving me the opportunity to go through this fear and discover just how beautiful and prescious life is.  Its all in you.  No amount of forum posts is going to change what is.  Just give in and let go.  I wish I could.  If I had the same "exposure" as you I wouldn't ever think of it again.  
Peace my friend.  

[cwa]

What are you talking about. I never put anything in my bum. Im worried about HIV from basketball. On March 7, 2007 i was playing basketball and i got somebody elses blood on my arm and jersey and i have been paranoid ever since.  Then on April 3, 2007 i was playing baskeetball again and i was scratched on the top of my pinky and i was bleeding a little bit and i think that somebody else on the court might have bleeding to. I found a small drop of blood on the side of my jersey. It could have been from me but i started thinking that it was somebody elses blood on the side of my jersey and i started panicking because what if some blood got into my cut. Thats what im worried over not putting a bottle in my ass. Teak and the Dr. HHH says no risk and no testing.

[farfromperfect]

Well, now I feel stupid.  Im sorry, I got you mixed up with someone else, but the same goes for you.

[cwa]

you still wanna give me 10,000 though, i can use that to help my team. ha ha ha ha. you saying that i didnt have a risk either.

[farfromperfect]

Yes.  that's what I am saying, and if it were possible to trade exposures with you, heck yeah id throw in 10 grand.  Again, sorry about confusing you with the other guy.  

[monkeyflower]

Hmmm. Apparently cwa=pesca.

farfromperfect: I'm sorry you're experiencing all this angst. However, I'm not as patient as peek, and moreover, I think that the more we respond to you, the worse things will be for you. Your anxiety is already way over the top. We can keep replying until our fingers are little bloody stumps, and no matter what we say, it won't make any difference. So this will be my last post to you.

The counselor you spoke with told you that you need to start meds. Did you? No one is going to be able to help you until you do.

[cwa]

Thanks, Im pretty good over the anxiety stuff, i was real worried about but as everyday comes i worry less and less. All the "symptoms" i have experienced are all because of anxiety and thats what i keep telling myself.  I have been very tired and just wanted to sleep all the time and just yesterday i was a little worried about lymph nodes and stuff but im not gonna worry about that anymore.  I thought that my nodes were getting swollen because the ones in my neck and under my chin felt like they were kind of tingling and stuff but im sure its because i have just been worried about it. I also was worried about the white tongue thing. But as i worried less and less now my toungue looks fine to me. I think that all of that stuff was all because i was real worried, paranoid, and scared.  Im just gonna get tested this tuesday on May 15, that will be 6 weeks from when i was scratched and 1 day short from 10 weeks when i got the blood on my arm and stuff.  If its negative on tuesday when i go then im just forget about this forever and thank the lord for my life and family and my girlfriend and everything.

Yes this is me Pecha.

[farfromperfect]

Yeah I know Monkeyflower.  I understand what you are saying, and you are absolutely right.  The sole purpose of my post to pecha (CWA) was to compare his situation to a real risk, and to hopefully show him the life he was missing out on worrying about nothing.  

[mike_no]

Do you and Pecha play for the same team ?

[cwa]

No, this is me Pecha. Im the same person. I had to create a new username.