I've been ridiculously stressed since a sexual encounter with a guy I was dating. We had sex twice. I'm adamant about using a condom and he appeared to be too. The last time we had sex, we took a small break to catch our breath and he took of the condom. When we started again, he hadn't put one back on. So for about the span of 30 seconds I didn't notice. As soon as I did, he put one back on.
We had had the whole std talk prior to sex. He stated he was last tested in June and hadn't been with anyone since. I was tested in July (negative) after breaking up with a long term boyfriend.
Anyways...so there is this 30 second period of unprotected sex that is freaking me out. I went and got tested today (15 days later). I know there's only an accuracy of like 50% with test results so soon but I couldn't wait any longer. The stress has been affecting me greatly - I can't sleep, I'm crying all the time. Every little things makes me think I have hiv. My throat is a bit sore. My skins itchy (no rash though -very dry).
I'm devastated and not sure how to manage both through waiting for these results and my follow up results (I'll get tested again in a few weeks if this one is negative just to be sure).
I've been researching the Internet like crazy. Looking at stats. Comparing symptoms. Also thinking about what I'll do if its positive. I couldn't even take medication (my work would find out) or tell people (my family and friends would shun me and disown me). I'd be labelled a **** or dirty or whatever. I've already even gone so far as to look for support groups for it in the event I am positive - support groups for heterosexual professional people, but all i can find is ones for people who have a horrid past of iv drug use or prostitution or are gay. And there's nothing wrong those things, but it only increases my feelings of despair and aloneness in dealing with anything IF I have it since I'm just a regular, educated, heterosexual female who's never touched a drug in her life and made a 30 second mistake.
Anyways, hiv is like my number one fear and I'm driving myself mad thinking I've caught it.
So my question is...has anyone else gone through this extreme fear? How did you cope in the wait time without going crazy??