Vaginal Secretions No Penetration

I am new here and scared.I recently posted this question on the MD board and I am also hoping that others here can provide me with information and/or data. Perhaps others have seen or heard similar questions and provide me with factual information. Thanks

It starts with lap dances that went too far. The head of my penis was exposed. The dancer had slid her thong/panties to the side and I briefly felt wettness and moisture. I am certain there was no penetration. When I felt the moisture and realized what was happening I adjusted my position so that I was no longer exposed.

The next day I realized there was an abrasion on the head of my penis likely from the vigorous lap dances. I was feeling very guilty on a number of levels as I am a husband/father. I added FEAR to the guilt and my head has been fiiled with a scary narrative for the last few days

I need some straight forward information and advice

1. Please tell me about my risk of HIV from the grinding with the head of my peins exposed to vaginal secretions and no penetration. The period of exposure was less than 10 seconds;

2. Please tell me about the additional HIV risk from the abrasion on the head of my penis;

3. When and how often should I test;

4. Please let me know if should ask my wife to get tested;

5. Please let me know if I should refrain from sexual activity with my wife

I acknoledge that I am feeling very emotional and scared. I need information and facts. Thanks

[Teak]

1. NO
2. Zero
3. annually if you are sexually active
4. That's up to you if you believe you have given her an STD. She doesn't need an HIV test.
5. only if you haven't been tested for STDs.

[penandpaper]

I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

I assume your response of "NO" to question 1 means "none" and you don't think I had a significant risk.

Thanks for taking the time to share information

[penandpaper]

I would like to know why this is considered no risk if there was exposure to secretions.
It is so tough to let go of these fears and now I am experiencing some intestinal problems. I also really hate myself for my actions.

[Teak]

As it is said over and over again each day, HIV does not stay active outside it's host.

[penandpaper]

In my case are you suggesting that contact with the outer portion of the vagina would be considered "outside it's host" and this is why no risk. I didn't realize this would be considered outside the host enviorment

[Teak]

Did you or did you not have penetrative sex? We weren't there we can't tell you if you did or didn't. You tell us if you did or did not have penetrative you are the only one that knows.

[penandpaper]

There was absolutely no penetration. I did feel wetness from the outside and that is the basis of my concern

[penandpaper]

I have been reading the archives and it appears consistent that people believe no penetration/no risk. I am curious if an abrasion/cut on the penis changes this analysis because of exposure to secretions

[Teak]

No it does not change a thing. If you had your penis cut off then you would have an issue.

[penandpaper]

I have been experiencing a very itchy scalp 2-3 days and counting I would like to know if this is a symptom which means I should test

[alienshadow]

No thats called nerves and anxiety getting at you please try to relax and ease up you will be fine no need for stress here

[snippets69]

itchy scalp...laughing...this is a new one.  Dude, you didn't have any risk.  You don't need to test.  Enjoy your lap dances...

[LuKen]

Snip is an odd fello.

[penandpaper]

Fear is becoming a powerful force on my thoughts and making me look close for symptoms. It is a viscious circle

[alienshadow]

Anxiety will do that fear thing to you dont give in

[joggen]

Dude, do what Dr. Hook told you- get a test at 4 weeks to address your anxiety. Get a rapid test so you don't have to wait any longer.

It'll be negative and that will kill the fear substantially if not for good.

[snippets69]

"It starts with lap dances that went too far....."

this is another classic forum line I will never forget.

[penandpaper]

Care to explain your comment

[penandpaper]

I am starting to think that continued research on the Internet is adding fuel to my anxiety. It seems that I am now noticing more things about my body as potential symptoms. I don't really understand why I am continuing to research if my sitiuation was no risk

[LIZZIE LOU]

i dont either!

[ECN44120]

You werent at risk, but your stress and fear is out of any normal acctitude, so you should look for the help of a therapist, to help you cope with these fears, you are so worried that all our words are useless, you are at the beggining of something that will increase and decrease your fear over time, dont waist more time searching on the web, you will find a lot of false or inaccurate info, so if you cannot accept that you werent at risk, then go and get tested to calm your fear and guilts that are causing all these stress.

Good luck

[penandpaper]

I find myself looking for and noticing things about my body which I previously wouldn't have considered. Much of the information on the Internet makes everything sound like a symptom

[penandpaper]

I forgot to add that I understand the no penetration no risk theory, however, it is the presence of the abrasion that continues to scare me

[Teak]

Move on.

[penandpaper]

I wanted to take a moment and tell the regulars who are authorized to post in this forum that their work is appreciated. It might at times appear that people don't value their efforts and this is most unfortunate. In my case, I spend so much time looking for symptoms that I probably seem rude. This was not my intention. The emotions of worry and fear are difficult and complicated. I do return to read my thread and others. I benefit from the information provided and wanted to let everyone know the work here is appreciated.

[penandpaper]

I keep thinking I put the worry behind me and it comes back.  I keep focusing on possible symptoms like the itchy scalp and the worry feels real

[Teak]

Maybe this will help you move on.

* Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to action by MedHelp. Conclusive negative results or a no-risk situation will be based up the criteria MedHelp’s doctors. Action will be taken as follows:
    * After excessive posting, a warning will be issued by MedHelp
    * Continuing to post regarding the negative result / no risk situation will result in a 3 day suspension
    * Continuing to post upon your return will result in a permanent ban.

[penandpaper]

I followed the suggestion of the learned professionals and sought some counselling to help with the fears. I made great progess understanding my thinking. I have recently been thrown a small curve and would like to post my current concern

I developed a quarter size very itchy patch on my scrotum following sex. I was wearing a lubricated condom and after sex the area where the shaft meets the scrotum was covered with a white substance (vaginal discharge/lube?). The next morning the same area was red and extremely itchy. I didn't initially think much about this issue. Over the next few days the cycle kept repeating. I used lotrimin thinking it might be yeast.

When it is a few days without sexual activity the itch subsides, however, the skin remains chaffed. When I have sex the area becomes very itchy and the cycle starts new

My thoughts have turned to possible HIV symptom. I would like to know if this sounds like a possible symptom. I am trying to push this from my mind, however, it isn't easy.

[Teak]

Go read the replies that were given to you on AidsMeds.