Very stressed about HIV risk

Hi Dr,
Late August, I had a sexual encounter with a bisexual woman. We were both drunk & the lights were off, I was giving her oral sex; when we turned on the lights we noticed that there was blood on the sheets - it's clear that I ingested some of this blood (my gums are weak so there may have been blood to blood contact). She later told me that it was her first time having penetrative sex with a guy (unprotected penetrative sex portion was very brief) and that before me she had been with a girlfriend for 2 years and performed oral sex on another guy - I have no way of verifying this. The very next day I started feeling very sick and threw up on several occasions – maybe caused by heavy drinking from night before (lots of beer, half bottle wine, several shots vodka).
One week later she tells me she's had a painful rash since our encounter & the doctor told her it's herpes, although she hadn't gotten tested. I started to freak out, my appetite decreased, I was getting night sweats, hot/cold chills (increased the more I googled). When I read symptoms of HIV I started freaking out. She also told me she was also experiencing flu-like symptoms (?). She went to go get tested and the lady told her that she was sure that it was herpes; she also got tested for HIV - negative, which was a relief. Other STD results came back negative, apparently it was a skin rash?
Shortly afterwards, I started to develop a dry mouth (stress?). This worried me greatly as I read this was also a symptom of HIV.  I've been struggling with this chronic dry mouth since.
I got tested last week (9 weeks after – rapid oral), came back negative. Today I was feeling sick (runny nose, sore sinus); I went to a dr on campus, said that my tongue was tender red & that my neck lymph nodes were swollen (HIV symptom I had read before). Said this was common w/ a cold. My dry mouth is still present as well, should I be worried? If it isn't HIV, could heavy stress cause chronic dry mouth for this long?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to  the Forum.  So, to summarize the main points, you had oral sex with a bisexual woman and gave her HSV and now, despite having a negative rapid HIV test at 9 weeks, you are concerned that this might be a manifestation of HIV on the basis of symptoms (cold symptoms, swollen lymph nodes in your neck, and a dry mouth.

My assessment:  You did not get herpes from the encounter you describe.  Rapid tests for HIV are reliable and are typically positive within 8 weeks of exposure to an infected partner if you are going to become infected.  Your test is negative and when symptoms are compared to the results of a test, the test always wins.  You have coincidentally acquired a cold.  Colds can explain all of the symptoms you describe, including the swollen nodes in your neck.  Your dry mouth could be related to your cold, to medications you may have taken for the cold or anxiety.  

Bottom line, you did not get HIV from your August encounter (by the way, oral sex, even if there is blood exchange and even if you have gum disease is no risk for HIV).  You can be confident of this and do not need further testing. Try to stop worrying.  EWH

[HeavySigh]

Dr. Hook,

Thank you for your prompt and reassuring reply.  She actually came back negative for herpes, so I'm not sure how she got the herpes-like symptoms after our encounter (could drunk abrasive sex cause such symptoms?).  My chronic dry mouth has been present since before I had any cold symptoms, so I guess my question is: is it common for heavy stress and anxiety to cause such long lasting dry mouth in addition to the flu like symptoms (heavy night sweats, hot/cold chills, etc...) that came about shortly after the encounter?  Again, thanks very much for your reassuring reply; it has been greatly appreciated.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Glad to help and glad your partner did not get HSV.  Take care. EWH

[HeavySigh]

Thanks! Just one more question (sorry to be badgering you). Is it rare for heavy stress to cause chronic dry mouth and flu-like symptoms?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Stress can certainly causse dry mouth but I am not aware that it woudl cause flu-like systems.  None of this however is relevant to your question about HIV- your test results prove you don't have HIV- period.  EWH