WORRIED - Risk Assessment

[worriedcouple35]

Hello,

My wife and I went on vacation and were at a small sports bar in a hotel lobby.  We were drinking with 3 patrons and guests of the hotel (all married business men) when the bar closed.  We had a suite and invited the 3 back to our room to continue drinking.  My wife ended up having intercourse with all three men without protection and all ejaculated inside her.  I also had intercourse with my wife 30 mins after the 3 men had just ejaculated inside her.  3 weeks later she came down with a very high fever, diarrhea, headach, rash and swollen glands in her neck.  We know and have come to terms with what her risk was and will test at the 3 month window.  The question is my risk, and do I need to test?  Is it possible to catch HIV from someone who may have had inetrcouse 30 mins before with an HIV infected person.  For the record I have suffered no symptoms and before anyone judges us this is the first time we ever did something this stupid.  We are middle aged with 4 childern and just were idiots.


  

[Teak]

Do you need to test? Of course you need to test.

[worriedcouple35]

"I" need to test?  I only had intercourse with my wife 30 mins after she had intercourse with the 3 men.  I have did not have intercourse since this encounter.  So we are both at risk?  She could contract HIV and then transmit HIV in 30 mins?  

[Teak]

You both need to test for STDs also.

[charity93]

You need to get tested because you came into contact with the other three men's bodily fluids (they ejaculated inside her, right?) when you had sex with your wife.  You are just as much at risk as she is and you and your wife must consider other stds such as syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc.

[worriedcouple35]

Ok thank you!  Yes the three men ejaculated in my wife, they all had intercourse with her at the same time or within a few mins each, I had intercourse with her 30 mins after.  Should we both get tested for the STD's right away or wait for the 3 month HIV test and do it all at the same time?

[charity93]

STDs such as gonorrhea or chlamydia, you can get an accurate test within a week after exposure.  Syphilis testing is generally six weeks after initial exposure.  Other stds such as HPV (genital warts) and Herpes is much harder since they are generally confirmed visually by a clinician, nurse or doctor.  However, your wife can get a papsmear to determine if she has HPV.  

You and your wife need to get tested IMMEDIATELY for gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichonomiasis.  You can wait six weeks from the initial date of exposure for syphilis and 12 weeks post-sexual encounter for a conclusive HIV test.  

[charity93]

I forgot to add...

It seems in your post that you're looking for a reason to get them all the tests done all at once at the three month mark rather than doing them separately.  I would advise against this because if you or your wife have contracted any other STDs such as gonorrhea or chlamydia, she may develop PIC (pelvic inflammatory disease) which can cause scarring in the uterus and fallopian tubes if not treated early on.  This can lead to issues of infertility in the future.

[worriedcouple35]

OK thank you!  I still can't believe we have to go through this.... I have been stricken with grife, I still can't believe I watched 3 starngers have sex with my wife... Our relationship is a bit strained because of the incident.  Too much drinking.

[charity93]

This is none of my business, but perhaps you and your wife should seek couple counseling.  High risk behaviors such as the one you and her engaged in is not healthy for any relationship.

[worriedcouple35]

Well we are in our 40's, not having kids any more as her tubes have been tied, hence allowing strangers to ejaculate in side her.  We knew she could not get pregnant, we did not consider all the other issues.  She is freaking out, she is sure she has HIV and now I have to drag her to a clnic to test for all these other things...OMG, this is awful

[worriedcouple35]

you are right but we never engaged in this type of behavior before, not anything even remote to this.  This was the fisrt time and quite frankly neither of us know why we did this....

[worriedcouple35]

My mind is racing crazy right now.... I just had this thought, so if the first guy that ejaculated in my wife was HIV+ and infected my wife, he could have also infected the other 2 guys and myself and those guys could have unknowingly infected their wives??????  One person can infect 6 people???  Should I try to find them through the hotel????

[worriedcouple35]

OMG!!  I know my wife contracted it.. Its 3 weeks and she has not one but all the symptoms....   THIS IS CRAZY!!  I don't know what to do.. I am going nuts here..

[LIZZIE LOU]

you need to calm down ! ! !

ars symptoms are the same symptoms of a multitude of other illnesses.  what is done is done...just test at the appopriate time.

[diver58]

Don't go after symptoms,,, get yourself and your wife tested for HIV and STD's, the only way to know your status accurately. Next time either avoid one night stands with people of unknown status  or use protection if you find any "thrill" in such kind of "endeavors".

[worriedcouple35]

Thank you!  We went to a walk in clinic on Sat the next state over from our as to not be noticed.  We were told we would have results by Tues.  Is that normal?  The intern said that gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV were all possible and that my wife looked very ill.  I think and idiot could have figured that out.