Hi everyone. I know I'm posting a question that has been posted in some way shape or form many times, but I'm running out of my own sanity and I needed to vent, and ask others if I should be as worried as I am.
A little about me. I'm 30, hetrosexual, married with 1 kid and another on the way. Many things about that statement make me a bad person for what caused this situation and I'm dealing with a lot of guilt related to this story - but that's not the point.
In late November I was out with some friends. I guess I had more drinks that I thought and part of the way home I realized I shouldn't be driving - I stopped at the nearest open place to give myself some time, and if I still wasn't feeling good call a friend. This happened to be a strip club. Where I live strip clubs are just bikini bars, and I had only intended on going in to sit for a few - but I gave in to one of the girls begging for a dance. She took me back and this is where everything goes wrong... I was starting to get tired, and honestly wasn't that interested in the dance. I don't know if I was blacking out or falling asleep but I don't remember all the details - I do remember the girl performing oral sex, then trying to have intercourse (no protection). Part of the way in to this act I suddenly became crystal clear, realized what was happening, left what ever cash I had, and ran out in a panic. It didn't occur to me to go to the ER for treatment when it happened, and it wasn't until 1-2 weeks leater that I learned of the possiblity of a near exposure "cure".
I don't know this girl, or what other risk factors she may have. For the moral part of this conversation: I've elected to keep this from my wife until 1. Her pregancy is over and 2. I know my status for sure. It has been a rough pregnancy so far with a few near misses and the last thing I want to do is add stress to her during this time.... and selfishly, should the worst happen, I'd still like to be around for my baby's delivery (I wouldn't be surprised if my wife leaves when the truth comes out).
So I've kept this to myself for about 2 months. Stressing almost every minute of every day. My eating habits have gotten bad, I've been drinking more, and started smoking again.... All things that could contribute to what I am preciving as "symptoms".
Over the last few months I've experienced the following (or at least think I have):
- Joint aches, mostly in my hands.
- Changing eating habits, sometimes less and sometimes more
- Iching skin
- Shakes... Probably just my nerves.
- Fatigue, but I haven't been sleeping much.
- Sore throat, but as I mentioned above I started smoing again.
- Possibly swollen glands, but I've read that I could be irritating them by feeling them constantly.
- Most recently, the the one that I am most worried about because I can't explain it via other reasons - a pain that is at the bottom up my left rib cage and sometimes radiates up and down my left side. From the far too much reading I've been doing I'm convinced myself this is "Spleen Pain".
Last week - at what would be the 8 week mark - I took an OraQuick test from Walgreens. It was negative. I plan on taking another in mid Feb. near the three month mark as well.
First Question: Am I being over paranoid about this? Since the 8 week test was negative am I likely fine?
Second Question: If not HIV, what else could the spleen area pain be?
Third Question: Any suggestions on what I can do to maintain my sanity for the next month....
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