am I in the clear?

so on July 29th I had unprotected oral sex with a CSW.  she swallowed.  I went thru alot of nervous feelings and emotions as I'm married and shortly after realized i made a mistake.  I had a 6 week blood test for HIV1 and 2 antibodies come back negative.

On saturday October 2nd I wen to a masseuse and she masturbated me with lotion.  No other sex acts happened.

Finally, couldnt take the anxiety anymore and got another blood test at 10 weeks, or just over 70 days.  Negative.

so I had some questions to keep it simple.

1.  Are my negative results conclusive?  Should I test again in a few months to make sure Im not turning positive late?
2.  Is a handjob a risk of any kind for any STD including HIV?
3.  Has anybody at a negative 10 weeks ever turn positive?
4.  If my wife is on her period, are risks heightened?  with condom?

My wife returns from a 2 week business trip tonight, and I am terrified of having unprotected sex with her.  

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum. we answer this question several times each day.  I will address your specific questions but if you wish more information I suggest that you also take a look at some of the pother posts on this site.  They provide much similar and complementary information.

1.  Both of the exposures you describe are virtually no risk for acquisition of HIV or other STDs.  HIV is not spread through masturbation.  Similarly, the quoted figure for HIV risk, if one has oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex.  Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex.  .

2.  No, no risk at all. This is the case even if somehow your partner's genital secretions got on you during the process.

3.  HIV test results at any time more than 8 weeks following exposure should be considered definitive.  Believe your test results.

4.  No.  You do not have HIV, thus you cannot transmit it, whether or not your wife is on her period.

Nothing in this post gives many any reason to think that there is any danger of your giving your wife an STD, including HIV related to the exposures you describe.  Try to relax. EWH

[paranoidsep15]

Thanks for the quick response...

I was just confused, as over on the community forums people say 12 weeks or 3 months is conclusive, where I got tested at 10 weeks, or 73 days.

So 8 weeks is conclusive then?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

For all practical purposes both of these types of test perform comparably and provide accurate information on the presence or absence of HIV infection in virtually everyone at 8 weeks following exposure.  The recommendations for testing at 3 and even 6 months are the result of two factors- data from older tests no longer used (you really do not need to worry about which generation of tests you were tested with, at this time virtually all tests are far more sensitive that they were even 2-3 years ago when the 3 month recommendation was made) and secondly, the fact that some, mostly governmental agencies which have to provide recommendations for virtually everyone without the sort of interactions such as those you get with your doctor or on personalized sites such as this one, feel the cannot "afford" to be wrong and therefore make recommendations and guidelines which leave most people unnecessarily nervous for 4-6 weeks longer than the 6-8 weeks it takes virtually everyone to develop HIV antibodies.   EWH

[paranoidsep15]

Completely understood, thanks for the clear up.  So im out of the woods, so to speak?  10 week conclusive?  Stress free fun with the wife when she gets back tonight?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You have understood my response. No need to repeat it. Take care. EWH

[paranoidsep15]

Forgive me Doctor, I know you are busy but I have one final question before I leave this thread.

Last night I welcomed my wife home and we had unprotected sex and I ejaculated inside of her.  I immediately felt afterwards like I had some something horribly wrong.

I am aware you told me to believe my test results.  But I feel like every ache and pain in my body is linked to this ARS Ive been reading on here about.  I woke this morning with a pain in my upper spine area, and even though it's probably completely unrelated I cant shake the feeling that last night I infected my wife.  So this leads me to my question about timing and testing...

I tested at 10 weeks which was negative.  If someone were to have symptoms of ARS, would they occur this late?  And also, everybody and their mother preaches 3 months as conclusive for testing, yet I tested about 17 days shy of 90 days or 3 months.  This is too small a window for something to change am I correct?

I understand you answer these types of questions thousands of times, I just can't shake the feeling that last night I did something that could end up literally ruining my and my wife's and our families lives.  I hope you understand.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You chose the psuedonym paranoidsep for your post.  It was well selected.  You are being paranoid.  Re-read my answers.  You can test as much as you want, at 3 months, 30 months or 3 years- you will not find that you got HIV from the exposure you describe.  EWH

[paranoidsep15]

Thank you for your time.