anxiety is back, thought it was gone but now back...scared

[needpeacewithfear]

Hey there just wanting to find someone that knows lots about hiv and transmission, ive had a lot of fear about hiv being a gay male, but its recently been taking over my thoughts even more, I slept with some one in may of this year i was the inserter and i wore a condom, but he performed oral on me, and now i have 9 out of 10 of the tell tale symptoms of ars or seroconversion, I read this site from active beat, 13 signs you may have HIV, I am not trying to create fear in others, I am just living in fear, I have been thru a lot in my life and cant seem to shake this fear of HIV, I have been through many tests over the years and everytime i get tested i get fearful, ya i no normal, and i even went through a scare where i slept with someone with hiv not knowing until contacted by clinic to get tested that completely took over my life and after quite awhile i made it through that after a large amount of tests, all negative of course, but now it grew in fear again, I know i hear oral isnt a risk or protective sex isnt a risk, but I swear i have most to all symptoms of ars and im fearfull again, I do not wanna get tested if i do not want to since testing took over my life for so long last year, my last test was last sept and it was negative, my last sexual encounter is what i listed above, again in may i had insertive intercourse with a man with brief oral and kissing, and now i am afraid with all the symptoms, the muscle and joint pain (fibromyaligia) headaches, pain urinating, bad fatigue, nausea, slight rash by the areas of moisture on the body especially by gentials on my inner upper thigh to be exact not eating as much, so please someone come on and reassure me that my anxiety is taking control again and that protective sex with a condoms brief oral and kissing is not a risk for hiv transmission!!!!

[LIZZIE LOU]

you can't give him something that you don't have.

[BeStrong_]

You are welcome

[needpeacewithfear]

Thanks for your response just want to make sure my man will be ok and that I did not give him hiv

[BeStrong_]

Protected sex is safe sex. Try to control your anxiety. :)

[needpeacewithfear]

I'm sorry to bug. But are you sure I'm ok?? I'm worried bout my man I'm afraid I might have gave him something he has nausea he's puking chills even has the joint pain and shooting pain above both hips!!! I really hope he and I will be fine health wise what would I do if I got hic and gave it to him. I no it's been 5 weeks but I could of serocoverted late!!! I'm having symptoms to. Why am I so scared!!! Before this obsession with being sick I used to live a normal life now everytime I or he gets sick I think omg not hiv!!! Are condoms 100% effective?? And your sure I did nothing risky oral both give n take insertive protected anal sex kissing just wanna be sure I didn't put him n I at risk!!!

[nursegirl6572]

You admit that your problem is anxiety.  That's something you need to deal with.  You seem to know rationally, that your only real risk for HIV would be unprotected anal sex, and you are consistently protecting yourself in that regard, but anxiety is not allowing you to accept that information, and you're "what iffing" yourself sick.

You need to address the anxiety with a professional.  If you let it continue (it's already been going on way too long), then it will be harder and harder to manage.  You will get to the point where it becomes an obsession.

You don't have an HIV concern, and you don't need testing.  Testing in a non risk situation where anxiety is the driving force only fuels the anxiety and feeds the cycle of irrational what if thinking.  That's NOT the answer.

Hope you get some help.

[LIZZIE LOU]

fear is not fact ! ! !

[needpeacewithfear]

I'm just scared that I could of infected myself and my partner!!! I cheated on him I shouldnt of done it. But I can't take it back now. He started feeling I'll yesterday headaches chills!! And this morning he started throwing up. This incident happened 5-6 weeks ago mid may is it possible to get ars 5-6 weeks after.?? Is there anyway for oral to be a risk giving and getting?? Is it possible the condom broke with out me knowing?? I'm in fear mainly because what if I not only infected me but my partner!!! Fear sucks but I'm hoping with your answers and assurance I can move on!!

[LIZZIE LOU]

FROM THE HIV EXPERTS HERE AT MEDHELP:

"As you know from other posts about oral sex, our stance is that giving or receiving oral sex is not a risk for HIV.  Some others suggest that there is an appreciable risk of HIV from oral sex however, there are no convincing scientific reports which support these statements.  The presence of a burn in your mouth, or a sore, or ingestion of blood does not change this.  Still no risk an no reason for testing."  DR HOOK

"As far as HIV is concerned, there is no known risk of getting HIV from performing oral sex on an infected partner, even if that person's genital secretions get into your eyes or if you swallow"  DR HOOK

There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex.  The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way.  Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk".  There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANDSFIELD

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex.  Please educate yourself about the real risks.  If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. "   DR HANDSFIELD

"I am sure you can find lots of people who belive that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..."   DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?  
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA

The observation on thousand and thousand of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort).  DR. HOOK

"With regard to the question you ask, I will repeat, as I’ve said more times than I can think- there are NO credible cases in which persons have acquired HIV through performance of oral sex- none!!.  The chance that you will be the first is ridiculously low.  You are more likely to be hit by lightening while reading my reply to you. DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread by masturbation, through oral sex, through kissing or other casual contact." DR HOOK

"There is no credible evidence that HIV is spread through oral sex, with or without the presence of cuts or blood in the persons mouth."- DR HOOK

"Oral sex. there is no evidence that HIV is spread through giving or receiving oral sex"- DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread through oral sex."  DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread through giving or receiving oral sex"   DR HOOK

[steven82]

You may have all the symptoms, but that means nothing. I 've had pharyngitis and candidas in my mouth 3 weeks after exposure and im negative. Remember that fear is a sickness.Good luck.

[needpeacewithfear]

So when I say oral I mean we both performed oral on each other so I no I heard oral isn't a risk but I also heard giving oral on a guy is risker than receiving oral. Can some one please clarify for me. And another thing I've had this sore throat for over a week went to the doc two days ago and he gave me antibiotics but I didn't get them. And when I read that active beat on the web it described my sore throat exactly :( please tell me I'm alright??