anxiety

Hi everyone, I ahve posted here before (can't believe my stupidity). I had sex with a Chinese prostitute here in Dubai 10 days ago. The sex was protected vaginal using condom. I wrote to the Doc and he assured me there was no risk, but I can't stop thinking the worst. My wife and kids arrive in two days and I am feeling so guilty and scared, I don`t know what to do. I love my family so much and this was totally out of character for me. I can't stop hating myself, for what I have done. I can't tell my wife as it will be the end of everything losing her and my kids. And I can't suggest we use a condom as she hates them and we never use them as we are married. So terrified I will give her Aids or an STD. Keep telling myself that I used a condom and that there is nothing to worry about like the doc said but so paranoid as I was drunk at the time. Am going to see a infectious disease specialist on Tuesday, but I know they won't be able to test me for anything so soon, just hope to get a little peace of mind. Has anyone else out there been in this situation before and how did you deal with it. I am so scared that I know my wife will know that something is troubling me and I will have to tell her and it will mean the end of my life as i love my wife and kids so much. It was just one drunken stupid mistake that will take everything away from me. Please Help.

[strata]

Wombat72,

1) Your HIV fears are unfounded. You had protected sex. Period. So you don't need to worry that you'll give your wife or kids HIV.

2) The primary STD concern is HSV-2, which has an incubation period of 2-5 days, although it is estimated that 50% or more of HSV-2 infections are asymptomatic. Discuss the encounter and your concerns with the infectious disease specialist you plan to see on Tuesday.

3) Only you can decide how to proceed with your marriage. Some might counsel that 'honesty is the best policy', but only you can judge whether this is truly the best approach. It might indeed end your marriage and cause significant heartache for you, your wife, and your children. You might consider professional 1:1 counseling to help you deal with the anxiety and guilt because, as you indicate, you might not be able to deal with it alone or keep it from damaging your marriage anyway. But if this whole experience has a silver lining, it is that you now clearly understand how important your wife and family are to you, and how much it would pain you to lose them.

Bottom line - it is safe to have unprotected sex with your wife. Seek counseling to deal with the guilt/stress if you feel the need.

[wombat72]

Thanks for your response strata, I really needed to here something like that. I am really depressed and hate myself at the moment, but am trying to convince myself that I will get through this. Main reason that I don't want to tell the wife besides the fact that she will leave me is that I don't want to put her through a huge trauma if I don`t have to. She is the greatest mum and wife anyone could ask for. So angry at myself for being so stupid. Thanks again and i must say what a great Forum this is, you think you are all alone then you stumble across a forum like this with so many caring people. God bless you all. Hope I can offer my support to others one day.