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comments for inthenickoftime and anyone who can help with this hell
I am in the same boat as you (inthenickoftime). I tested at 82 days and I was so happy that it came out negative. For about 3 days I was on top of the world. Then I kept thinking back to the nurse saying I need to come back and follow up with a 6 month test. I thought ah, she's just behind the times. Then, it hit me, maybe I went two days too early, and maybe I should have waited for 13 weeks. Then I noticed that almost every site that I looked at said 6 months testing was needed. Now I feel just like I did before. I can't think straight, I can't concentrate, I am depressed and anxious, and I just feel like I am never going to get past this. I started counseling. It helped a little but not enough. Counselor even told me that I should retest at 6 months. I still have wierd symptoms that I have never noticed before. And to make things worse, my wife is now having some symptoms after we started having sex again because of the 3 mo negative. I am scared to death, and I just know that I will be one of the unlucky freaks who turns pos after the 82 day neg. I would really appreciate some love here people.
I'm not irritated with you at all! I'm sorry I came off that way--I guess maybe I'm too blunt. I just think that continuing to hold your hand and reassure you (here I mean the collective "you") every time you have a little meltdown isn't doing anyone any good. I honestly want you to feel better, but I don't think it's going to happen as long as you're only reading and posting here.
If you quit therapy, maybe it would be a good idea to look at why. Was it getting too close to something you're afraid of facing? Are you uncomfortable with the idea of finally forgiving yourself and moving on? You weren't brought up Catholic, by any chance, were you? Anyway, just think about it. A little introspection never hurt anyone...
If you quit therapy, maybe it would be a good idea to look at why. Was it getting too close to something you're afraid of facing? Are you uncomfortable with the idea of finally forgiving yourself and moving on? You weren't brought up Catholic, by any chance, were you? Anyway, just think about it. A little introspection never hurt anyone...
Dr. Handsfield may say what you *claim* you want to hear, but you completely disregard his advice and suggestions and come over here, looking to hear--what? Honestly, I don't think you want to hear the truth, that you're negative; you want to hear the worst, whatever confirms your greatest fears and your deepest feelings about yourself. You're punishing yourself, and you won't let up. Man. Guilt really has you in a chokehold.
You said you went to therapy, which implies that you've since stopped. Keep going to therapy. It takes time. But also ask your doctor if s/he thinks medication would help. Usually the combination is much more effective than either one alone.
You said you went to therapy, which implies that you've since stopped. Keep going to therapy. It takes time. But also ask your doctor if s/he thinks medication would help. Usually the combination is much more effective than either one alone.
"You don't need to wait 6 months for an accurate HIV test. No responsible authority recommends a 6 month wait, although many recommend 3 months."
If its now been over 3 months, and you are hair splitting over 82 days v 3 months, for Gods sake go get another test now. If you're now obsessing over 6 months since some dimwitted nurse and a counselor with 30 min of training said 6 months, you'll just have to live in the hell of your own making until 6 months have gone by.
If its now been over 3 months, and you are hair splitting over 82 days v 3 months, for Gods sake go get another test now. If you're now obsessing over 6 months since some dimwitted nurse and a counselor with 30 min of training said 6 months, you'll just have to live in the hell of your own making until 6 months have gone by.
the cdc no longer uses the 6 month test guideline- unless you are an iv drug user, or suffering a severed immune diorder (being on your last stage of cancer)
82 days is a part of the 84 day or 12 week cut off. and the 12 week cut off is overly conservative, since most people test + within 6 to 8 weeks with modern technology.
I was going over some threads and someone asked a similar question, so a couple of websites were posted to help answer this question.
According to the 20 links thats were given,all of them stated that 4- 6 weeks is sufficient, and 6-8 weeks just to be safe. All these sites were up to date.
To add i recently found out most doctors state that 3 monthes = 12 weeks ( 4 weeks per a month x 3)
Dr. H also mentioned that people use both the 12 and 13 week cut off because their is no difference between the to.
To answer you're question, you made the cut off and you're HIV negative... again most people test negative by 6 weeks. In fact, Dr. H went to a conference and said that he asked 300 doctors/specialists if they have ever seen a patient turn postive after a 6 week negetive test... and the answer was no.
If six weeks is considered almost conclusive which is 42 days, you can count on it that you're 82 day test (which is almost double the time) is conclusive.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask... and check out my recent threads, MIKE_no provided me with some important info.
STOP WORRYING
82 days is a part of the 84 day or 12 week cut off. and the 12 week cut off is overly conservative, since most people test + within 6 to 8 weeks with modern technology.
I was going over some threads and someone asked a similar question, so a couple of websites were posted to help answer this question.
According to the 20 links thats were given,all of them stated that 4- 6 weeks is sufficient, and 6-8 weeks just to be safe. All these sites were up to date.
To add i recently found out most doctors state that 3 monthes = 12 weeks ( 4 weeks per a month x 3)
Dr. H also mentioned that people use both the 12 and 13 week cut off because their is no difference between the to.
To answer you're question, you made the cut off and you're HIV negative... again most people test negative by 6 weeks. In fact, Dr. H went to a conference and said that he asked 300 doctors/specialists if they have ever seen a patient turn postive after a 6 week negetive test... and the answer was no.
If six weeks is considered almost conclusive which is 42 days, you can count on it that you're 82 day test (which is almost double the time) is conclusive.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask... and check out my recent threads, MIKE_no provided me with some important info.
STOP WORRYING
to add regarding, what the nurse and you're counsellor said... they are NOT effing specialists, and it makes me furious when people like that dictate meaninglesss, and invalid info. Listen, you're counsellor is a probably a cognitive counsellor, and knoes very little about bodily processes... in fact she probably knows nothing about HIV and Aids. Mayb she requested you to get tested just to put ur fears at rest. And the nurse... who knoes about her training or even when or how LONG ago she was trained... you have to understand not everyone is committed to being up to date about this situation, like DOCTOR H.
As far as the websites... in most educational institutes it is taught to evaluate websites and assess them before believing the information. Who knoes who is writing them, and who knoes how up to date they are.
Listen to the advise of specialists, it might be hard at first... but reelie their the only ones who know what their talking about, and have the education and authority to dictate what you should do.
Please take care.
As far as the websites... in most educational institutes it is taught to evaluate websites and assess them before believing the information. Who knoes who is writing them, and who knoes how up to date they are.
Listen to the advise of specialists, it might be hard at first... but reelie their the only ones who know what their talking about, and have the education and authority to dictate what you should do.
Please take care.
Thank you all for the responses. I appreciate your words, and they do serve to calm the nerves somewhat.
HI Peek. Long time no talk. I have been trying to avoid this site but it's like crack. Anyways, hello my friend good to hear from you again. Yes I did get counseling. It helped a little but I am still having things happen to my body that have never happened before. Counselor suggests that it is possible that I always had these feelings and occurrences but I am just focusing on them now because of my fear. I don't ever remember feeling like this.
My concern about the Good Doc on here is that I view him as a business man. He is in the business of selling advice. Any sales people out there? What is the best way to sell your product? Tell em what they want to hear about it. I know that I am going to catch a lot of flack from you guys aobut this. I am not trying to make anyone mad, just voicing a concern. But iwhy do you think this site is so popular? Because we come on here and 999 times out of 1000 the Doctor is going to tell us something we want to hear. According to Dr. H, there are almost no risks of ever catching HIV in any circumstance. I had sex, unprotected, with a very slutty woman and he says almost no risk involved. COME ON!! How does anyone have the disease if that is no risk. I love those words and, to be honest, they are probably all that kept me going through my darkest days. However, how many other Doctor's out there do you guys think would say that a one night stand with a slut is not a risk? Why is it that this is one of the only places you see the six week testing reccomendation. When I put in a search for hiv testing on google it seems like the vast majority of sites say 3 mos to 6 mos. I know Dr. H is knowledgable about the subject, I just think he may be overly optimistic. He doesn't have anything to lose if he's wrong.
I am not trying to cause debate or anyything here. I just want to be over this dam fear. This is the worse thing that anyone could go through. Such a sneaky little dispicable disease. Such a mysterious, fearful, evil little demon just waiting for someone to get messed up on alcohaul and make a bad judgment call. I guess I owe it a bit of grattitude in a way. If I ever get over this fear, and I find out that I am truly negative, I will never take my wife for granted again. Through all of this, my biggest fear is hurting her. It's not fear of death that I have, it is fear of hurting someone who is innocent and loves me and trusts me to do what's right. And to beat all, exactly 2 weeks after I finally felt confident enought to have sex with her, she comes down with sore muscles, cramps, fatigue, and sore throat. How's that for scarry?
Yes Peek, I am certainly dealing with a mad case of guilt. I don't know if that is the root of all my problems or not, but it is definitely a factor. I have seen all of the literature about the problems guilt and depression coupled with anxiety can cause, but for some reason I just feel completely irresponsible when I dismiss muscle pain, strange blisters, mouth sores, swollen lymph nodes, fatigue etc. etc. etc as stress related. The list goes on and on with these symptoms. I don't think I have any immunity problems, but they won't stop even after the 3 month "conclusive" test. I don't use drugs except alcohaul. I am straight as straight can be. I don't have cancer that I know of. So, with all of this and a 3 month negative why is my body pressing me to still worry about it. It's like a flashing sign saying you are not going to get away with what you did...you will have to confess your sins.
I don't know what the hell to do. I am scared to test any more at this point because I let my guard down and had sex with my wife. I don't know how I would face her if I got a positive after putting her at risk. Man, what a waste of life all for about 15 minutes of stupidity that wasn't even fun at all. I hate this so bad. I pray that 6 weeks and 3 months are conclusive reliable dates for all of us. I hope none of you have to go through this **** that I have. I hope you all get your results, all of your symptoms dissapear, and you are all able to move on. Good luck to all of you.
Question for Mike NO if you are reading. I really appreciate you man, and I respect your words. What I can't figure out is if you are so certain that your results are accurate then what keeps you in this place of missery? Is it just that you want to help ease those that are going through what you did, or is there still fear in you?
HI Peek. Long time no talk. I have been trying to avoid this site but it's like crack. Anyways, hello my friend good to hear from you again. Yes I did get counseling. It helped a little but I am still having things happen to my body that have never happened before. Counselor suggests that it is possible that I always had these feelings and occurrences but I am just focusing on them now because of my fear. I don't ever remember feeling like this.
My concern about the Good Doc on here is that I view him as a business man. He is in the business of selling advice. Any sales people out there? What is the best way to sell your product? Tell em what they want to hear about it. I know that I am going to catch a lot of flack from you guys aobut this. I am not trying to make anyone mad, just voicing a concern. But iwhy do you think this site is so popular? Because we come on here and 999 times out of 1000 the Doctor is going to tell us something we want to hear. According to Dr. H, there are almost no risks of ever catching HIV in any circumstance. I had sex, unprotected, with a very slutty woman and he says almost no risk involved. COME ON!! How does anyone have the disease if that is no risk. I love those words and, to be honest, they are probably all that kept me going through my darkest days. However, how many other Doctor's out there do you guys think would say that a one night stand with a slut is not a risk? Why is it that this is one of the only places you see the six week testing reccomendation. When I put in a search for hiv testing on google it seems like the vast majority of sites say 3 mos to 6 mos. I know Dr. H is knowledgable about the subject, I just think he may be overly optimistic. He doesn't have anything to lose if he's wrong.
I am not trying to cause debate or anyything here. I just want to be over this dam fear. This is the worse thing that anyone could go through. Such a sneaky little dispicable disease. Such a mysterious, fearful, evil little demon just waiting for someone to get messed up on alcohaul and make a bad judgment call. I guess I owe it a bit of grattitude in a way. If I ever get over this fear, and I find out that I am truly negative, I will never take my wife for granted again. Through all of this, my biggest fear is hurting her. It's not fear of death that I have, it is fear of hurting someone who is innocent and loves me and trusts me to do what's right. And to beat all, exactly 2 weeks after I finally felt confident enought to have sex with her, she comes down with sore muscles, cramps, fatigue, and sore throat. How's that for scarry?
Yes Peek, I am certainly dealing with a mad case of guilt. I don't know if that is the root of all my problems or not, but it is definitely a factor. I have seen all of the literature about the problems guilt and depression coupled with anxiety can cause, but for some reason I just feel completely irresponsible when I dismiss muscle pain, strange blisters, mouth sores, swollen lymph nodes, fatigue etc. etc. etc as stress related. The list goes on and on with these symptoms. I don't think I have any immunity problems, but they won't stop even after the 3 month "conclusive" test. I don't use drugs except alcohaul. I am straight as straight can be. I don't have cancer that I know of. So, with all of this and a 3 month negative why is my body pressing me to still worry about it. It's like a flashing sign saying you are not going to get away with what you did...you will have to confess your sins.
I don't know what the hell to do. I am scared to test any more at this point because I let my guard down and had sex with my wife. I don't know how I would face her if I got a positive after putting her at risk. Man, what a waste of life all for about 15 minutes of stupidity that wasn't even fun at all. I hate this so bad. I pray that 6 weeks and 3 months are conclusive reliable dates for all of us. I hope none of you have to go through this **** that I have. I hope you all get your results, all of your symptoms dissapear, and you are all able to move on. Good luck to all of you.
Question for Mike NO if you are reading. I really appreciate you man, and I respect your words. What I can't figure out is if you are so certain that your results are accurate then what keeps you in this place of missery? Is it just that you want to help ease those that are going through what you did, or is there still fear in you?
One more thing, What is the deal with everyone getting so frustrated with one another on here? I see a post from someone who is scared, dramatic, and overreacting looking for help (most of which never even had a real risk). The next thing you know, that same person is responding to another person who is scared out of their minds with disdain and complete frustration towards them. This is a support forum. We are here to share knowledge and support each other. I don't think we are here to blow sunshine up each oters a** . A risk is a risk and it needs to be treated as one. I don't think there is a real problem with that here. Most of us are much more strict than Doctor H when it comes to our advise. I am just saying, we need each other. Would any of you be here if you didn't need someone to talk to and share information with?
i totally understand what you're saying... and i agree that the doctor telling you having unprotected sex with a slutty women puts u at no risk... i do not agree with that. However a test at 82 days is reliable deal with it. if you know anything about biology it does not take 6 monthes for your body to produce detectable HIV antibodies.
To add... i stated previously that i checked out many other medical sites... at least 20... written by various different doctors statying thata test taken at 4 weeks is reliable... hence 6-8 weeks extremely reliable
I was in a similar situation as yourself... had unprotected sex (Im a women) with a male... got back together with my boyfirend and had unportected sex with him because i thought my results at 83 days was conclusive
The last few days i have been doing alot of research and a test taken at 80 plus days is RELIABLE. OK?
To add... i stated previously that i checked out many other medical sites... at least 20... written by various different doctors statying thata test taken at 4 weeks is reliable... hence 6-8 weeks extremely reliable
I was in a similar situation as yourself... had unprotected sex (Im a women) with a male... got back together with my boyfirend and had unportected sex with him because i thought my results at 83 days was conclusive
The last few days i have been doing alot of research and a test taken at 80 plus days is RELIABLE. OK?
Far,
You are still feeling symptoms either b/c you still don't believe your results (your doubts about the validity of your results shines through, coupled with the doubt of a very prominent physician who is here not selling anything), or b/c they might be due to some other, unrelated medical condition, or they are due to anxiety.
There is nothing to do about the first or the last, except to wait it out, since you obviously now hold a lot of emotional stock with "6 month" camp. You are not going to believe anything else now. Your guilty conscience is telling you that you haven't escaped "punishment" yet. Plus its telling you that your wife will now be punished for your misdeed and concealment of your infidelity. That's just guilty thinking getting the better of your common sense, my friend. Its not reality.
Get a good, general exam with your internist and address everything you're feeling to rule out the second.
What else can anyone tell you? I'm sure Mike will tell you the same thing. You can trust your result, but obviously you can't. So wait it out.
You are still feeling symptoms either b/c you still don't believe your results (your doubts about the validity of your results shines through, coupled with the doubt of a very prominent physician who is here not selling anything), or b/c they might be due to some other, unrelated medical condition, or they are due to anxiety.
There is nothing to do about the first or the last, except to wait it out, since you obviously now hold a lot of emotional stock with "6 month" camp. You are not going to believe anything else now. Your guilty conscience is telling you that you haven't escaped "punishment" yet. Plus its telling you that your wife will now be punished for your misdeed and concealment of your infidelity. That's just guilty thinking getting the better of your common sense, my friend. Its not reality.
Get a good, general exam with your internist and address everything you're feeling to rule out the second.
What else can anyone tell you? I'm sure Mike will tell you the same thing. You can trust your result, but obviously you can't. So wait it out.
Go back and look at Dr. H's responses to this issue--I think it even came up in the last day or two.
6 months is NOT NECESSARY. You are still obsessed with this issue. I don't know what it will take for you to get closure on this.
You will not be "the one" to test positve after an 82 day negative. If you think it will help, take another test now. But it really sounds like the crux of the issue is guilt, not timing of tests. That, I can't help you with.
Did you ever go to a therapist? I'm old and forgetful.
6 months is NOT NECESSARY. You are still obsessed with this issue. I don't know what it will take for you to get closure on this.
You will not be "the one" to test positve after an 82 day negative. If you think it will help, take another test now. But it really sounds like the crux of the issue is guilt, not timing of tests. That, I can't help you with.
Did you ever go to a therapist? I'm old and forgetful.
OMG... the doctor being a business man? are yu kidding me? u think hes trying to make money off of us....
thats ridiculous... and unnecessary... now your trying to scare all of us, including myself
Listen doctors make enough money... more than enough... i doubt hes trying to follow business tactics to make money off of us
im sorry but thats ridiculous and something you shouldnt be bringing into a help forum
bye
thats ridiculous... and unnecessary... now your trying to scare all of us, including myself
Listen doctors make enough money... more than enough... i doubt hes trying to follow business tactics to make money off of us
im sorry but thats ridiculous and something you shouldnt be bringing into a help forum
bye
No, Im not trying to scare anyone, and I for sure don't want to believe that I am positive. I don't know if the Dr is trying to make money off of us or not. However, I don't think it is a rediculous concept. I am sure what he tells us is backed up with scientific data. Im just saying that, for me, it is hard to see how so many people have this disease if it is so hard to get. I guess I should just let go and just accept my results. I thank God everyday that my 3 month was neg. I just cant get it out of my mind. If anyone should understand, you should inthenickoftime. You are in the same place I am.
i completely understand what you're saying, and it makes sense... howere if you look at statistics where im from 70% of the people who have HIV are gay men... so you reelie need to relax. Im not sayin straight people don't have it but i mean if 70% of the people who have it are gay, it is not nearly as commen in the heterosexual community,
Next if you don't want to belive in the doctor, THAN DON'T. You reelie don't have to at this point because you passed the CDC conclusive test!
Congratulations, stop overanalyzing, and think about the fact that you are negative in accordance to the 12 week CDC conclusive test.
Next if you don't want to belive in the doctor, THAN DON'T. You reelie don't have to at this point because you passed the CDC conclusive test!
Congratulations, stop overanalyzing, and think about the fact that you are negative in accordance to the 12 week CDC conclusive test.
AND the CDC test is extremely and overly conservative... they don't want a single case to be missed...
ME AND YOU MADE IT!! WE ARE FINE. WE NEED LIVE AND LOVE LIFE NOW, and ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THAT OUR RESULTS ARE CONCLUSIVE because
a) we are not suffering from cancer
b) did not take any anti viral medications AKA. PEP
c) we are not iv drug users
accept your results, you're beyond SAFE bud.
ME AND YOU MADE IT!! WE ARE FINE. WE NEED LIVE AND LOVE LIFE NOW, and ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THAT OUR RESULTS ARE CONCLUSIVE because
a) we are not suffering from cancer
b) did not take any anti viral medications AKA. PEP
c) we are not iv drug users
accept your results, you're beyond SAFE bud.
Yah. I know that is probably right. I just hate the way I have felt ever since this happened mentally and physically. Guilt is a MoFo that is for sure. Are you suffering from any residual symptoms? Have you had a case of guilt too? Well anyways, congrats on the negative result. It seems you are accepting it better these days. I did the same thing you did. I got the result and swore I would never think about it again. I even told someone if I woke up with a rash on my chest that spelled out H.I.V. I wouldn't worry about it. Then the what if's started creeping back in. I searched the internet just so that i could find some reassurance on the 3 month result, but it seemed everywhere I looked said 6 months. You seem to have found reassurance.
Monkey has been irritated with me for some time about my obsession. I realize that she is right about what she says, except for the part about wanting to hear the worse, and I appreciate the feedback. I just want everyone on here to know that I consider you all friends and don't mean to offend at all.
Well once again congratualations on your negative result.
Monkey has been irritated with me for some time about my obsession. I realize that she is right about what she says, except for the part about wanting to hear the worse, and I appreciate the feedback. I just want everyone on here to know that I consider you all friends and don't mean to offend at all.
Well once again congratualations on your negative result.
GUILT!?? your damnn right i felt guilt... i felt guilt for the last 5 monthes.... but i FINALLY realized it is completed irrational to project my inner guilt to convincing myself i have hiv.
I got tested just in case. And realized 2 days ago it was time for me to move on, and stop obsessing... we are being egocentric think of all those people who made mistakes... those people who had anal sex with a hiv postive person, and tested at 12 weeks and are negative... they seem to move on.
Just thank the lord that you're fine. And if you dont belive in god... than just thank technology and stats.
I got tested just in case. And realized 2 days ago it was time for me to move on, and stop obsessing... we are being egocentric think of all those people who made mistakes... those people who had anal sex with a hiv postive person, and tested at 12 weeks and are negative... they seem to move on.
Just thank the lord that you're fine. And if you dont belive in god... than just thank technology and stats.
Yes you are right. Thank God. I absolutely believe in God. Have a great weekend.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Far, your fears are irrational, I don't know why they told you about the 6 months window period however thats way behind time, 3 month's conclusive.
I'd say, see an HIV specialist (A true specialist) no counselor, no nurse ask him / her about the testing window period with the prevailing generation of the tests and come back here and do share it with us !
Me ?
It really doesn't matter, whether I believe in my test or not, I atleast don't post anxiety related issues here and every time I post here I try to help some body cuz when I had my scare there were people to help me, I don't think there's any harm in returning the favor but anyways Far, I seriously feel you're thinking too much, I promise brother HIV is no more your problem.
3 month's definite.
Please move on.
I'd say, see an HIV specialist (A true specialist) no counselor, no nurse ask him / her about the testing window period with the prevailing generation of the tests and come back here and do share it with us !
Me ?
It really doesn't matter, whether I believe in my test or not, I atleast don't post anxiety related issues here and every time I post here I try to help some body cuz when I had my scare there were people to help me, I don't think there's any harm in returning the favor but anyways Far, I seriously feel you're thinking too much, I promise brother HIV is no more your problem.
3 month's definite.
Please move on.
man...ur test is very very much conclusive...82 days is a long long time for ur body to make antibodies for hiv ! I am paranoid about HIV as well but I am always relaxed when I test negative at 4 weeks !.ur test was a bit less than 12 weeks and u r still worried !!?!??!?! take it easy dude...the nurse can shay whatever she wants but you are absolutely negative
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