extreme HIV anxiety after HSV2 in New Zealand!

[feelinblue33]

Hi there,

I'm a 30yo male from New Zealand, a relatively low prevalence HIV country but have stupidly engaged in risky behaviour and am anxious beyond words of HIV. I am a generally responsible/cautious guy, have a 2 year old son (lives with mother - we're separated) and am anxious beyond words for implications for my family.

I started seeing a girl 3.5 months ago, we clicked, everything was fantastic, and stupidly we very soon made the decision to sleep together unprotected (3 months ago). We had approx 15-20 instances of unprotected vaginal intercourse.

She is not an injecting drug user, (but I later found out she does smoke marijuana at least 4 times a week and is on anti depressants).

5 weeks into us getting together, she came down with a bad flu, fatigue, congestion, sore throat, cough for 3-4 weeks and skin rash. She saw two doctors that diagnosed the rash as a harmless non contagious dermatitis (but just by site - no blood tests etc) and said she had cold/flu. Re the fatigue she said she'd been feeling it for some months, as she works late hours, bad sleeping patterns and was on new anti depressants.

9 weeks after getting together - I noticed (for first time) a blister on my penis as was diagnosed (after lab testing) with genital herpes HSV2. I believe it was my primary episode and apart from swelling over groin lymph nodes no other symptoms until about a week after when I felt VERY tired. I am sure but not positive I got herpes from her, as I had not been sexually active with anyone for 6 months prior.

At this point, I got online, realised my stupidity and completely started freaking out upon reading the symptoms that I/she could have something more serious - like HIV.

I spoke about this with her, and she said she had slept unprotected with 4 guys (I don't know how many times) over last 2 years (since her last test). 2 of the guys were long term boyfriends.

9.5 weeks after first sleeping together and 2 days after last - we both tested negative for HIV (antibody and p24 antigen), and negative for everything else regularly tested for (chlam, gon, syphillis, hep etc), and we stopped seeing eachother also (although still talk). She maintains she last slept with her previous boyfriend (a long term partner) 2-4 weeks before we got together - and noone since - though I cannot be sure.

In the weeks after out last encounter and I have been completely and totally anxious about having contracted HIV - it dominates my thoughts by the minute. I try and put it out of my mind (waiting for the 6 week test) but cannot. I have experienced constant/extreme anxiety, fatigue on and off.

2 weeks after our last encounter (11.5 weeks after our first) - I got tested for HIV again - negative.

2 weeks after our last encounter I got a bad sore throat, a slight ulcer on my tongue, and fatigue. The sore throat lasted 4-5 days, on the 5th day I got swollen/painful glands in my neck, they went down after 7th day and then I got tender/sore groin lymph nodes on 7th/8th/9th day. In New Zealand however it is very cold now - we are in the middle of winter/cold/flu season - and I generally get colds more than most.

I know you cannot judge HIV by symptoms, but she seemed to have all of them (fatigue, fever, chills, skin rash possibly mis diagnosed, dry cough for over 3 weeks), I am confident I got herpes from her (which I understand increases HIV chances), and 2 weeks after last exposure I have had all such symptoms - although may be fishing for them with constant HIV anxiety/net searching.

I am obviously confident that up until 4 months ago (2 weeks before I met her) she was HIV negative - from the test results.

I will no doubt get tested, but can anyone shed light on my risk factor? Ways to look at the situation to cope with my deep/painful anxiety?

Thanks in advance, especially for reading this long post.

Jarrad

[Teak]

Retest as you have planned 3 months post the last unportected sex and receive your conclusive test result.

[mauler839]

Sir,

I'm in a similar situation.  I had only one encounter it ended up being with another guy.  I received oral kissed and sucked his nipples and touched his penis.  I got sick less than 12 hours after the encounter.  I am completely stressed canker sores in my mouth, gagging like dry heaving, upset stomach, diarhea and all this was less than 48 hours after my encounter and i have been crying off and on.  I am having a difficult time dealing with the pressure the whole thing not that it was with a guy but the fact I could have caught something.  I don't what to tell you because i'm going through this to and of course it is the cold season so it makes it more stressful and like you said you might have symptoms you might not.  I'm having real difficulty with this so if it makes you feel better were both dealing with this.