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how can i get rid of hiv anxiety?

i discussed my oral sex encounter in previous post. Now i know that oral sex has low to no risk but. many say that oral sex carries carries 1 in 10000 risk of transmission which should be very pleasing for me but then i think what if i am that 1 from 10,000. my anxiety is killing me. i have become superstitious i look for signs that suggest hiv in things that dont really matter for example i can't listen to a queen song because freddy mercury had aids. i have become an idiot. i have gone back to follow religion because i feel god might punish me through hiv. worst part i m going to college in 2 months to usa which is a completely different place , if i stay like this i wont make it. i took a test 6 weeks post exposure and it was negative(elisa 1 and 2).it has been 8 weeks since exposure and i am thinking of taking a test but i am scared what if i am positive. even writing that makes me scared. the most annoying fact is the 3 month period of testing. i am scared to death, to make matters worse i noticed a lump in my throat. what should i do? please help
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Seek professional mental help. You cannot obtain the one on one therapy that you need.
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Avatar universal
this post is not for hiv question but anxiety instead. i want to get rid of anxiety i want to improve my mental condition
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