Just look rationally at the odds. It is said the risk of acquiring HIV from a single episode of receiving fellatio from an HIV-infected partner is around 1 chance in 10,000. By itself, that translates into a daily BJ by an infected partner for 27 years before you would expect to catch the infection. And your partner says he doesn't have HIV! But let's say there is a 1% chance he is infected, either because he is lying or he was in the window period the last time he was infected. That makes your chance of having caught HIV 0.01 x 0.0001 = 0.000001. That's one in a million. And that, my friend, is 37 times less likely than the chance you will die someday of a lightning strike (if you live in North America.
There are no 'conflicting data' about the low risk of oral transmission of HIV. There are only conflicting nonscientific opinions and advice. No, I have never seen someone with HIV acquired by receiving oral sex. But since there might be only 10 or fewer people in the entire US (and maybe none!) who acquired their HIV infections that way, of course I would not expect to ever see such a person.
Your symptoms are irrelevant to these calculations, since all of them can be due to many conditions that have nothing to do with HIV. Some of your symptoms do not suggest HIV at all (cough, head cold, coated tongue), although enlarged lymph nodes could be due to HIV. However, most people who believe their lymph nodes are enlarged are wrong. That's a notorious difficult symptom for self-assessment.
Bottom line: See a health professional and follow his or her advice. You can be HIV tested for self-assurance. You can expect a negative result.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Thanks!
Most of the oral sex acquired cases are the receptive (oral) partner. There clearly is some risk there. I am unaware of any data from Australia or elsewhere that attribute 3-8% of cases in people receiving fellatio.
In any case, all such data depend on infected people's personal histories. Some are lying--they have other risks they don't admit. Others assume a particular exposure was the source of their infection, when in fact they caught it somewhere else. Others believe they have new infection but in fact were infected a long before the oral sex event. Others simply forget other, higher risk events, sometimes because they were high or drunk at the time. And so on.
All things considered, even though the data from CDC supporting the 1 in 10,000 estimate also are flawed, most experts consider that to be the ballpark figure. And many consider it a high estimate.
But no ongoing discussion, please; it's a bit of a thread jump off chris1983's question and my response to him.