Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

im scared i may have hiv

okay so here it goes.
i am an 18 year old female. about a year and half ago i had unprotected sex with a guy on my holiday in mexico. and i knew him so i thought i knew he didnt have anything. and i was on the pill so i wasnt worried about anything.i was very drunk and can not remember much of it but i do know we were in the room for about an hour and he was having some difficulties and he got hard but then went limp, he didnt *** and as far as i know he didnt have any pre-*** either but i cant be sure. but we had vaginal,oral and anal sex. and i didnt think anything of it then but now a year and a half later i live in scotland and have a boyfriend that i got pretty much after the holiday and have been with him ever since and we have had unprotected sex many times. and a week ago i got a phone call fromt he guy i was with in mexico and since my spanish is a little bit rusty and i dont know any medical terms in spanish, i couldnt understand what he said he had. but he said he had something and that he may have had it while we were together aswell so he was letting me know. but now i am soooooo worried.....
what are the chances if he is HIV positive and that even though he didnt *** in me could i still have got it? what are the chances his pre-*** gave me HIV? what about in the anal position?would pre-*** have given me HIV while we were doing it in the anal position?
i have some of the symptoms such as a swollen lymph node behind my left ear and fatigue and depression but i got that even before i started having sex.so i dont know. and i used to live in california and never really got sick.but now i live in scotland i seem to get the flu quite a lot..but i think the reason i have the flu a lot more here then in california is because scotland is very cold and im not used to it.please tell me what you think.... PLEASE!
i am getting a HIV test taken soon, but i am so scared because im having serious anxiety about this and i cant stop thinking about it. and im not only worried about myself, but my boyfriend. i dont want to tell him until i have an answer for sure. but im sooo scared. so if someone could please help me out and answer my questions to put my mind at a little bit of ease until i go for my appointment.
59 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
i want know , if you talk with me am from mexico living in hollands this my email adress    rasta_18sk8***@****
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
another sleepless night...and i have missed 2 days of work because of it....  all i kept thinking is what if im that 1 person in a 1000 or the 1 person in 200 .... what if i am part of that 1% ???
i just kept looking at my fiancee, thinking how its all my fault...
i wish i could stay calm .... going be a long few weeks til i get my tests and results back................
im scared to death. i started getting in my head yesterday that it will come back negative since i only did it once and he didnt ejaculate and im not sure about "other fliuds" ... but what if i am one of those people who are just unlucky enough  to get it on a one off????
still a week until i can actually take the test....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
another sleepless night... all i kept thinking is what if im that 1 person in a 1000 or the 1 person in 200 .... what if i am part of that 1% ???
i just kept looking at my fiancee, thinking how its all my fault...
i wish i could stay calm .... going be a long few weeks til i get my tests and results back.................
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Understood. Yes, we all make mistakes and it's good to see you turned your life around.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I find something you said a few posts back a little disturbing.
You said:
"Even I through the 80's and 90's did way to many girls without protection (would not get tested because I was sure I already had it)but when my wife got pregnant she tested neg so I went and was amazed I was neg."

Correct me if I'm wrong but I translate this as meaning you thought you had HIV, but still had unprotected sex with your wife, getting her pregnant and then you were relieved to find out she was neg. and subsequently relieved that you were neg. also.
That doesn't sound like the responsible person you portray yourself as on this forum.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
okay thanks.just checking.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
anyoe have anything to say about my last comment?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yeah i see what your saying.
thanks.
though what i was saying is that i cant tell if what i been having is symptoms or not because a lot of them i been having before i even started having sex.
swollen lymph node or gland behind my left ear[had it as a child, also told its probably because of my allergys and antibotics]
fatigue.
i also suffer from depression that i had as a child.
i just recently had what a doctor called a viral infection[which worries me because i read that HIV symptoms are often confused for a viral infection] and had a very upset stomach a fever and diarrhea that lasted for a couple of days.
i get the flu or seem to have the flu quite a lot aswell[but i think that may be because i moved from a hot place like california to a much colder one,scotland.
and a few months after i got back from mexico i got sick with what was called a viral infection aswell,  it really upset my asthma with a violent cough and was sick for quite a few days ..

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
do you really think odds are inmy favor? or are you just saying that to calm me down?

thanks for your help.
[[ i may come up with more questions for you.]]
but for now i feel alittle bit more at ease. although i have to admit the thought wont be out of my head until i do get the test results. cheers.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i know your being honest, and you cant really tell me whats going on since i need the test.

but even after my test the woman on the phone says it will take 2 weeks to get the results back. if i ask for a rapid test, do they have to give it to me?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
well....uhhhh...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
so me being a female my risk for aquiring HIV from pre-*** during vaginal sex is 1in 1000?
and 1 and 200 for anal?
since i have not had a lot of partners either is it lower?

(( i mean i dont go around having unprotected sex with people all the time.... this was a one off and i knew the guy and he was supposedly safe at the time [and at the time my only concern was geting pregnant, & i was on the pill] but now hes telling me he MIGHT have been infected with somthing while we were together.....but it was only once... imnot saying it doesnt take only one time.. but the chances are slimmer... right?  my advice to everyone on this site is no matter how much you think you know someone ALWAYS USE protection!!! until you both can confirm that you are free of everything...go to the clinic together for gods sake!!!))

arnt people who have mulitple parnters at greater risk? then me and just one?

[[[sorry if m pestering all you guyz... its my nerves...]]]
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
There are plenty of women who have been married to HIV infected men but never aquired the virus. Look at Magic Johnson and his wife! The chances of aquiring through vaginal sex are pretty low (1 in a 1000 for woman). The risk is higher for anal sex (1 in 200). Your risks are even less than that since he didn't ejaculate but there is no data on this. Odds are really in your favor but definitely get tested as there is no sure way to guess. Good luck!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
tell me about it man... i have a fiancee ... this will ruin everything ..... plus the fact that no matter what happens to "us" im still responsiable for ruining his life.

which is why i seek answers...
and the anxiety will be with me until i get the test result back...
and the closetest day i could get a test for is a week and half away ....
plus another 2 weeks to wait for the results ....
freaked,
so anyone that knows any answers to my questions please answer if you can.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Freekedout00 - I am very scared myself as I think I have potentially caught it too. However with repect to any testing that does not scare me at all. I live in the UK and I have no idea what happens to the reults other than I think it remains anonymous, but I have no control over that. I just need to know the answer. I have a wife and family and need to know what to do next. The only way I can do that is to test. I wish you all the luck in the world with you resolving this and getting tested. Good luck and my heart goes out to you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i've pretty much convinced myself that i have HIV...

im scared....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
is it possible to have a lot of the symptoms, even though if you dont have HIV?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with regularjoey, calm down!!!  You don't know if you have it.  Have you tried calling the guy back and asking him in very slow Spanish what it is that he has?  Get up the nerve, I know it takes a lot, and take that test!  
Helpful - 0
219662 tn?1223858560
Look, you've got to calm down.  You can't know if the symptoms are HIV-related, unless you test.  There is simply no way to know, period.  The only way to know if you have HIV or not is by testing.

As far as specific risks - the risk for anal is estimated at 1%, which is very high, relative to other sexual practices.  Guiltnworry is absolutely right about viral load correlating with HIV transmission, so the fact that no ejaculation took place means that you were exposed to less virus, which turns the odds further in your favor.  You want exact numbers - they simply do not exist, because such studies can not possibly be done, as I told you.  You just have to go with the estimates.

My advice: you will be tortured by anxiety up until the point that you take the test.  So don't wait and get it over with.  And quit symptom searching, that will do you nothing but harm.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
is anyone on here?????? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
or could it not be HIV/STD and instead maybe be ....... something like cancer...

im soooo worried........
really not for me

but for my boyfriend .....
he will think i cheated on him! and then never forgive me because if i have it i most likely infected him aswell!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
p.s.
has anyone hear actually dealt with someone who got HIV/AIDS from pre-*** doing anal?
does anyone have any experience in that area?
please give me a ballpark number as to what the chances are of contracting the infection through pre-*** in vaginal sex causing HIV, and one in pre-*** in anal sex causing HIV.
could it not be HIV... a perhaps be a STD?
what other STD's have similar symptoms?
or is there a possibility its all in my head and i am fine, but suffeing from OCD?
dont worry i will still be getting tested.... i cant live like this....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
okay... here is what i experience quite a lot. but a lot of this i have gotten since i was little before i started having sex.
vaginal discharge but i was told that was from ovulating [and when i used to worry about this i asked my friends they said it could be from wearing thongs] but how can can i tell if its normal discharge or STD/HIV related?or a yeast infection?
swollen lymph node or gland behind my left ear[had it as a child, also told its probably because of my allergys and antibotics]
fatigue.
i also suffer from depression that i had as a child.
i just recently had what a doctor called a viral infection[which worries me because i read that HIV symptoms are often confused for a viral infection] and had a very upset stomach a fever and diarrhea that lasted for a couple of days.
i get the flu or seem to have the flu quite a lot aswell[but i think that may be because i moved from a hot place like california to a much colder one,scotland.
and a few months after i got back from mexico i got sick with what was called a viral infection aswell,  it really upset my asthma with a violent cough and was sick for quite a few days ..
what do you think?????

could some of these be symptoms overlooked because i had them since i was a child?
if you do have symptoms, do you usually get them all at once? or do you just get one or the other?

does anyone know what the percentage of people in ensalda, mexico having HIV?

im stressing myself out with anxiety, my test isnt for another week, and im sooo scared.

PLEASE READ MY STORY AND THE QUESTIONS I HAVE JUST ASKED AND ENLIGHTEN ME PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEASE.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Not quite sure what you mean with your question, but HIV is not killed by antibiotics.  Wouldn't that be great if it were, the problem would be solved.  No, HIV is not killed by any antibiotic taken for bacterial infections.  My point about the antibiotics was that by taking antibiotics to kill off bacteria, you also kill off the bacteria which normally keep standard body yeast in check, so they can rapidly multiply.  That's why a side effect of antibiotic treatment is yeast infection.  If you are asking if normal treatments will treat yeast infections caused by an HIV dampened immune system, then the answer is in some cases yes, the yeast will clear up with normal meds.  However, some oppurtunistic infections secondary to HIV are extremely resistant to treatment and often take specialized medical regimens with combination antibiotics and antifungals.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community

Top HIV Answerers
366749 tn?1544695265
Karachi, Pakistan
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.