The only way to know if you have been infected is by testing. You can not diagnosis yourself by symptoms. Symptoms or the lack of mean nothing when it comes to determining HIV infection. Poking and probing your lymph nodes
Lymph nodes the size of an M&M are not something of concern at all! When they are the size of a walnut you can assume you have an infection or virus...But highly unlikely would that be HIV!
Well, it seems you have done the prudent thing and visited your doctor and asked he or she to check your lymph nodes for swelling. The doctor did so and, good news, they weren't. I would trust the doc on this one.
As for being able to feel them, the answer is no, but maybe not for the reason that you think. Your lymph nodes are sensitive little guys, and one should not spend much time at all poking and prodding at them. They don't like that. Do it too much, and they start to swell a bit and get sore. And then you have a self-fulfilling prophecy: swollen lymph nodes (even though you caused them yourself).
Well, my reply, I now realize, may have been a bit too subtle. Yes, I agree, people can feel their own lymph nodes. Rather, I was trying (perhaps unsuccessfully) to make the point that one shouldn't spend much time if any feeling their lymph nodes, for the reasons given.
When my doc examined my nodes he felt the areas only very lightly with no pressure at all so obviously a swollen node is one that you can feel on contact, NOT by pressing and checking constantly. Although I am sure we have all been there and done it!