new to this

my son was just diagnosed with full blown aids...today.  he is only 29 years old...a meth addict who does not shoot up.  he got it from unprotected sex.

about three months ago his lymph nodes began to swell all over his body...he went to the doctor and he put him on an antibiotic for infection.  after they did not go down, he was sent to a surgeon to have a biopsy done, they thought he had cancer of the lymph nodes.  yesterday morning he went to have his pre-op blood work done and got the results late last night.  the surgeon was made aware of this but didn't tell us until after his surgery today.  i don't know any of his levels at this time but he said he had full blown aids...not just the virus.  he had an aids test two years ago and it came back negative.  i don't know anything about all of this but how can you go from negative to full blown aids in just two years?  did what he was doing to his body with the meth speed things up?

what do we do from here?  i am devastated and don't know where to begin.  what kind of doctor do we see?  please help me!!!!

[peekawho]

Before the frenzy starts, my only comment is that "Lizzie" only knows what her son told her about his risk.  Which may or may not be true.

We know ZERO about anything anyone tells us on the internet.

"Lizzie", good luck to you.  

[LIZZIE LOU]

exactly what do you mean "we know ZERO about anything anyone tells us on the internet"

[peekawho]

I mean that this is an anonymous forum, and you have to take every single thing you read with a grain of salt.

And I'm pretty much talking about stuff we have all hashed over in the past few weeks.   In particular, for my own experience, my husband is on internet forums blatantly lying about how he got HepC.  I know how he got it, he knows how he got it, but it doesn't look very nice.  So he paints himself in a better light.  He doesn't care if people get worried.  

The paranoia on this forum is OVERWHELMING in regards to unprotected vaginal sex and HIV.  You only know what your son told you.  May or may not be true.  But my fear is that people will read your post and go into absolute spasms of fear about their own incidents, which are by far not high risk.

[LIZZIE LOU]

i came here to maybe try to get some answers and support and you are worried about HOW my son got AIDS.  let me tell you one damned thing...my son is not your husband.  and does it really matter how he got it...he f***ing has it.  how dare you be so bold.  thanks for nothing!

[dread1]

Dear Liz,

I'm truly sorry to hear about your son's diagnosis, I truly am. Can I make a suggestion for a really good place for you to go right now is the aidsmeds.com website. It is run and operated by very very good people and if you go to the "Just Been Diagnosed" section or "Someone I Love is hiv" you will find excellent advice and compassionate support. This forum has way too much anxiety coursing through its veins for what you need right now. My thoughts are with you, your son and your family.

[Alex73]

I am very sorry about your son

[bk4291]

Sorry to hear about this, must be a difficult time for you. I agree that aidsmeds would be an excellent choice of site should you want to get the responses of people who have been living with HIV/AIDS. But perhaps ask a doctor about the possible quick AIDS progression, they should be able to tell you more.

Wishing you and your son nothing but the best.

[monkeyflower]

I am sorry to hear your son is so sick. However, I must come to peekawho's defense. I know you weren't aware of the true nature of this board, or you wouldn't have posted here in the first place (the name is really unfortunate, and I've asked MedHelp a couple of times to rename it to something that more accurately reflects the makeup of the board). The fact is, this isn't a HIV support board; it's a HIV *anxiety* support board. This board is rife with rampant paranoia about the dangers of protected, let alone unprotected sex. You yourself stressed that he got it from *unprotected sex*, which is what peekawho was pointing out may or may not be the truth. Having spent some time around addicts myself, it's probably pretty fair to say that they all lie. It's just part of the disease. Nothing personal. She was not criticizing you or your son, just noting the possible inconsistencies for the sake of the sanity of the rest of the board.

[bk4291]

In this situation, i don't think it's relevant how this young man acquired his infection, on this forum or any other. What i mean is, it isn't like he is saying he was infected through oral or fingering, he says unprotected sex. That IS a documented route for HIV transmission (regardless of statistics), just like IV drug use is.

Even on this anxiety forum, the facts must be allowed to stand, surely.

I'm sorry we went off your topic. Take care.

[Xhost]

Lizzie,

A terrible situation to find oneself in, you have my sympathy. As for your son, I am not qualified to say (nor is anyone else in this forum or any other) why he may have progressed so soon to AIDS. It may very well have been his Meth use, though who can say for certain?

The thing to do now is to get your son to a doctor who specializes in HIV infection. You should be able to get a referal from either the hospital that treated your son, or even from your own family doctor. I also know that qualified and competent infectious disease specialist may be found by doing searches on the Web for IDs in your general area. In fact, if your son is hospitalized, he may be assigned to an ID specialist on the hospital staff - I cannot say for sure. But you need to become involved in his care, and be aggressive about it. Educate yourself about this disease, and the various treatment options available to your son. And monitor the care he is recieving. Most importantly, whoever his doctor turns out to be, establish a real relationship with that doctor, and encourage your son to do the same when he is in a position to do so.

I suspect that, given his current status, he will immediately be put on an HIV drug protocol, which may begin with a determination as to the drug immunity profile of your son's particular HIV infection. Once this is done, he will be prescribed the medication he needs to suppress the virus. The immediate goal is to get the viral load down and the CD4 count up. This will help eliminate the immediate threat (opportunistic infections). After this is accomplished, talk to the care provider to see what comes next.

Equally important is to provide your son with the intense support he is going to need in the coming months. First, emotional support - this is, as you know, a time when he needs it, from you and perhaps in a more formalized setting (group therapy/support or a therapist who specializes in patients with chronic diseases). Second, medical. Until he gets back on his feet, you will need to interface with his doctors and monitor the care he receives. And finally, his drug dependence will need to be addressed. If he is to recover and go on to lead a healthy and productive life, he will need to overcome his dependence on drugs. Given the various crises he is facing, and may face in the future, it may be tempting for him to escape from his reality by using. That, as you know, will have a negative impact on his long term prognosis.

Good luck to you, your son and your family.

[dumbo]

I agree with peekawho.  She is simply saying that your son may not be proud of how he probably got it so he will not tell you the truth.  What parent wants to hear their child got HIV from anal sex or sharing works?   really?  What child wants to tell their parents something like that?  

It is unfortunate he has AIDS, truly.  I wish you and he the best but you need to find another forum.  The bottom line is is does not matter how he got it now, he has it and that's the way it is now.