possible hiv exposure

  Here it goes.let me give you a little background--im a 28 yr old male married for 6 years only 5 sexual partners-one child and one on the way.Last night i was at a strip club where the girls were very risky.I had an encounter with a stripper in the lap dance room.Heres what is bothering me we used a condom and she rode me for about 1 min.But i was kinda scared and not hard barely at all.She put the condom on so i don't know how well it was on- i did ejaculate probely from the nervous excitement.When i got to the bathroom it looked intact.I was drunk so i didn't look it over real well but i couldn't see any holes or exposed skin,there was some ejaculate in the condom but i can't recall if it was leaking through a small hole or not.Do you think i contracted hiv?And what really concerns me is it wasn't all the way down on my penis cause it wasn't hard.It was covering the head though.My wife is pregnant and i can't believe i made this mistake,am i ok and can i have unprotected relations with my wife?I know if she did this with me she probaly does this often. im freakin out should i be tested?One thing she did insist on was using a condom-so she probally is safe most of the time.But im very worried-One other thing is the girls here was shoving there vagina's like in your face and grinding it on your nose and mouth is that any kind of exposure problem?I know this is probally a discombobulated post and i think you for your time and help doc thank you in advance i'm buggin out  

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Sounds like no actual insertive sex, i.e. no HIV risk. Even if that occurred, intact condom = safe sex and no risk of HIV transmission. If the condom was apparently intact, it was intact; sexual secretions and HIV do not pass through microscopic holes that you can't see.  Nobody gets HIV from vaginal secretions on the face.  On top of all that, the odds the stripper has HIV probably are less than 1%.

I never guarantee that someone isn't infected.  But I really don't see any HIV risk here, and therefore no risk to your wife or unborn child.  But if you will sleep better knowing you weren't infected, have an HIV test in a few weeks.

Good luck--- HHH, MD

[chodey98]

  I thought that at first--{that we never had insertive sex}--but i asked her a few moments later when i came to my senses and started having anxiety and guilt.I am glad to hear about not being able to pass through microscopal holes. I just think about all the variables of the situation along with murphys law and it's got me very scared ---i am pretty sure there was a little insertive sex that occured. the fact that i was not erect when the condom was put on doesn't matter---i have heard that factors in to it being effective just not sure in what compacity. I'm so stupid for doing what i did --I wish i could take it back-but i can't.1 % sounds kinda like bad news or just fear and anxiety again making me think unreasonably.

[chodey98]

  Also i was wondering would herpes or anyother std come into play since the base of my penis was exposed???just wondering thanks doc

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You're over-thinking it. There was no measurable HIV risk here. Get tested for HIV if your anxieties demand it; he risk assessment does not. Of course there is some risk of other STDs by contact above a condom's range, but the risk is low for any particular exposure.

I won't have any other comments on this thread.

HHH, MD

[chodey98]

   Im having a real hard time dealing with this i guess because i have hard so few sexual encounters in my life ----I just feel like i have made a huge mistake ---and i especailly don't want to put my wife and unborm child at risk----i know if she did tyhis with me iy's probally the norm with her and feel that is a huge risk---this is starting to become all i think about and don't know what to do ----six weeks seems a very long time away and three months even longer --anyone have any suggestions?

[ScaredinAbuDhabi]

You obviously have a lot of anxiety as a result of the event.  I can only tell you that DR HHH is a genuine expert, read his Bio.  If that doesn't help let me suggest something as a result of your anxiety.  Do not have sex with your wife until you get tested at no less than 4 to 6 weeks.  Not because I think you have any thing; I'm not qualified to make that determination...and I'm certainly not an expert in that concern.  But, because I know first hand that it will vastly multiply your anxieties and probably lead to panic attacks.  Your concern at the moment is for your own well being, if you add your wife's and child's you will be a basket case.  I am trusting the Doc, but even I stopped having sex with my wife for over 6 weeks after the first 4 days post exposure.  I"m now at week 10 with a negative hiv1/2 after 3 tests.  I know it's hard to tell her no but that is much easier than telling her you possibly gave her a STD.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Please take any further discussion over to the HIV support forum.

Thanks--  HHH, MD