Aa
sex with bisexual male
Hello
After knowing a friend for years, I had sex with him one night.
We had vaginal sex twice and didnt use a condom, lasting 5 minutes each time.
I have just found out that he is bisexual and he didnt care to tell me this when we had unprotected sex. I know he doesnt like condoms so I am assuming he probably doesnt use them as a general rule. I dont think he is particularly promiscuous, but it really concerns me that his sexual orientation may have caused me harm. He was married for 8 years before our encounter, but I think during his marriage he wasnt particularly faithful.
What is the risk rate for someone in my situation?
After knowing a friend for years, I had sex with him one night.
We had vaginal sex twice and didnt use a condom, lasting 5 minutes each time.
I have just found out that he is bisexual and he didnt care to tell me this when we had unprotected sex. I know he doesnt like condoms so I am assuming he probably doesnt use them as a general rule. I dont think he is particularly promiscuous, but it really concerns me that his sexual orientation may have caused me harm. He was married for 8 years before our encounter, but I think during his marriage he wasnt particularly faithful.
What is the risk rate for someone in my situation?
nothing much. I wasn't posting on here back in april when I had my (non risk scare), but I took yours and teaks advice by reading previous posts. I started posting later on in Sep. I was very surprised to see you back. Glad to see yah! I wish BigDummy could be back!
obviously you are not over it....you are still here....in a HIV SUPPPORT forum...IDIOT!
sooner or later...you will put yourself in a compromised situation....again.
no condom, ...back on here.....pi.s.s.i.n.g. and moaning like you did on aidsmeds.com
no condom, ...back on here.....pi.s.s.i.n.g. and moaning like you did on aidsmeds.com
Let me be up front about bathhouses. I have used them for years. Please read my previous post but in addition it’s so simple. Men like sex!! It’s in the chromosomes, its in nature. I can’t speak for Gays all I can tell you is that there are lots of people using bathhouses and they are used to meet people and to have sex with mostly anonymous people. They are not cheep so you go to get off. Each bathhouse has its unique culture. I am a little limited though in my experience at night for I went mostly during the day. The night crowd usually was much younger and MUCH more sexually active.
What else is there to say some people use hookers some go to porno, some go to bathhouses, the smart one’s stay home with their loved ones. I believe it’s all about the level of your sex drive and discipline.
As for me I can tell you how I entered the Bi-world. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to CHEAT on my wife. I started going to adult theaters and got off with other men and somehow it didn’t feel like cheating, nuts huh?
Oh well that’s enough of my life its behind me and if My 5 week test is right I just might have survived this 20 year battle.
PS sorry Jaguar for my curt comment
What else is there to say some people use hookers some go to porno, some go to bathhouses, the smart one’s stay home with their loved ones. I believe it’s all about the level of your sex drive and discipline.
As for me I can tell you how I entered the Bi-world. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to CHEAT on my wife. I started going to adult theaters and got off with other men and somehow it didn’t feel like cheating, nuts huh?
Oh well that’s enough of my life its behind me and if My 5 week test is right I just might have survived this 20 year battle.
PS sorry Jaguar for my curt comment
I would recommend you return to, say the second grade a relearn how to read. Why do the few Gay/Bi-sexual guys that use bath houses represent the whole Gay community to you?
what question? that gay people are sluts? dont be so ridiculous. Thats not even worth talking about. Come on man.
Let me rephrase one thing. I meant maybe my 50% condom use in bathouses was wrong. I still believe it is high but maybe not that high. MSM are still getting infected at stabilized numbers so obviously uncovered receptive anal is still happening. If you go to aidsmeds even they do not believe someone who says they were only a top and got HIV from it which indicates that they are fully aware of the high risk of receptive anal sex. You can read tons of posts in their living with hiv forum and newly infected?? to this effect. there are also many posts regarding past behaviors of thos eposting on aidsmeds. Many many comments reflect drug use and promiscuity among MSM.
There are good gay people (Teak is not one of course ) just like there are good heteros. HIV just happens to hit MSM's harder (because of anal sex) than most groups other than the IV drug users. Some people choose to continue to deny and deflect thus continuing the infection rates among MSM's.
You can go to pubmed and read many studies on this subject as guiltnworry has stated.
There are good gay people (Teak is not one of course ) just like there are good heteros. HIV just happens to hit MSM's harder (because of anal sex) than most groups other than the IV drug users. Some people choose to continue to deny and deflect thus continuing the infection rates among MSM's.
You can go to pubmed and read many studies on this subject as guiltnworry has stated.
This has actually been studied, believe it or not. Homosexual males, on average (meaning not all), have a significantly higher number of partners than heterosexuals. Some of the social scientists who studied this came to the logical conclusion that this is one of the reason why HIV is so prevalent in the homosexual population. This is not to say that heterosexual people do not have unprotected sex, certainly, judging by the many posts on this forum, they do. However, on average, they have fewer sexual partners than gay men. In the studies, they were also less likely to consistently use a condom. Just FYI
thanks for that reply. Maybe I am wrong in how much condoms are used or maybe it is specific to your area.
thanks again for the great info.
thanks again for the great info.
Bath house exist for the reason Dumbo said. I know I have used them. They like most places have many different types of people in them. During the day its usually married or older guys looking for sexual relief, at nigh that's when the real nuts come in. Most go there because they like non committed relationships nothing more. They do NOT want on steady partner. Of course in this day and age it is very dangerous and it IS a very risky business. That said; I have only see no condom used one time for anal. There is alot of oral and I have seldom seen a condom used for that. Also you would be surprized that alot of guys do nothing but provide oral or simply watch others engage in sex. Bottom line, stay away from them all including CSW, what ever that is.
wow, what an awful thing to say. You're right though, karma does happen to all of us....
If condoms are used, sure that's fine. I agree. But it is well known they are not used in bathouses and it is fact that MSM are highest risk for HIV. Bathouses are random hookups for men who are gay, married and on the down low, or bisexual men. Does money change hands? It is a place where men go to use drugs to loosen up and have sex with random men. I do not know of any places where men can go to do meth, and have sex with multiple random women. Maybe crackhouses but I am not sure on that. If that is the case, then that is wrong too as condoms are more than likely not being used either and of course they should be shutdown just the same as bathouses should be.
I really do not know why so many still carry on this way.
Anyways...maybe all this will be kharmaic.....
Ya know?
Maybe someday soon, the fat a.s.s. bigot who sits at their computer all day eating twinkies and drinking soda with diabetes, who does nothing but berate homosexuals, will have a sugar attack, go blind, and lose a leg. This way they will not be on here anymore.
Let's all hope that person will be humbled.
Anyways...maybe all this will be kharmaic.....
Ya know?
Maybe someday soon, the fat a.s.s. bigot who sits at their computer all day eating twinkies and drinking soda with diabetes, who does nothing but berate homosexuals, will have a sugar attack, go blind, and lose a leg. This way they will not be on here anymore.
Let's all hope that person will be humbled.
What is the difference between going to a CSW and using condoms or gays going to bath houses and using condoms. There is not a difference. Not all CSW are women either. You are saying if you are straight it's okay to go to CSW, but not if you are gay and having protected sex? Get real.
"I doubt it would reach epidemic proportions, but one more infection is one too many."
I agree 100%. But, people (ok one person) on this forum, has said "if I can save just one life I will be happy" . But yet they are ok with bathouses if condoms are used. Does this person still continue to go to them? Does this person feel nostalgic toward them? does this person say this simply because their friends still attend them?
Of course condoms are not used all the time in bathouses, and I would say not as much as people would think (maybe 50%) as studies are still being done to show this (read pubmed). Drugs and MSM promiscuity reign at these facilities. Many studies have now been done on crystal meth / bathouses just like poppers were used back in the early days.
So, my point is, is that if a person wants to save "just one life" then they should not be ok with bathouses because it is well known they are high risk facilities for spreading HIV. Period.
I can provide links to these studies should anyone wish to read them. Just send me a PM as I can't post the links here because teak cries to admin everytime I expose him as a liar and has my posts removed. Yet I see many recent posts with links these days but then those ones suit his agenda so he does not complain. Funny how that goes.
I agree 100%. But, people (ok one person) on this forum, has said "if I can save just one life I will be happy" . But yet they are ok with bathouses if condoms are used. Does this person still continue to go to them? Does this person feel nostalgic toward them? does this person say this simply because their friends still attend them?
Of course condoms are not used all the time in bathouses, and I would say not as much as people would think (maybe 50%) as studies are still being done to show this (read pubmed). Drugs and MSM promiscuity reign at these facilities. Many studies have now been done on crystal meth / bathouses just like poppers were used back in the early days.
So, my point is, is that if a person wants to save "just one life" then they should not be ok with bathouses because it is well known they are high risk facilities for spreading HIV. Period.
I can provide links to these studies should anyone wish to read them. Just send me a PM as I can't post the links here because teak cries to admin everytime I expose him as a liar and has my posts removed. Yet I see many recent posts with links these days but then those ones suit his agenda so he does not complain. Funny how that goes.
Your statement: Teak has an obvious agenda here (hence why he does not answer any anal sex related questions from men who have sex with men)
Here are two of many: one old and one new!!!!!
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/20380
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/320465
Then you go and pick on spelling (It's paste not past). Are you a F%cking English teacher? No!!!! If your dumb@$$ can tell what he meant to put, than I am sure someone else can.
Here is a sentence you wrote in this thread!
Was gone for a couple 3 weeks recently, and same thing happened again.
(A couple 3 weeks) What the hell is that?
This is a forum not an English Class. No body is grading on spelling or f*cking carry-on sentences. This is a site to ask about transmission risk, advice about testing, and advice about condom usage. You do not have to be a Doctor to assist and help on here. Advice is Advice. People can take it or leave it. So far on this thread, No advice! Just Bickering back and forth. Regardless if teak has a 5th grade education or a Phd, He still assess risk the same as most and helps those that are in fear and instills the prevention techniques to those that need it. That is why He posts. To Help! If they listen to him or not, that is their business. Not any of ours.
Here are two of many: one old and one new!!!!!
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/20380
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/320465
Then you go and pick on spelling (It's paste not past). Are you a F%cking English teacher? No!!!! If your dumb@$$ can tell what he meant to put, than I am sure someone else can.
Here is a sentence you wrote in this thread!
Was gone for a couple 3 weeks recently, and same thing happened again.
(A couple 3 weeks) What the hell is that?
This is a forum not an English Class. No body is grading on spelling or f*cking carry-on sentences. This is a site to ask about transmission risk, advice about testing, and advice about condom usage. You do not have to be a Doctor to assist and help on here. Advice is Advice. People can take it or leave it. So far on this thread, No advice! Just Bickering back and forth. Regardless if teak has a 5th grade education or a Phd, He still assess risk the same as most and helps those that are in fear and instills the prevention techniques to those that need it. That is why He posts. To Help! If they listen to him or not, that is their business. Not any of ours.
You guys are awesome. It is very nice to have mature conversations about things, unfortunately, 52 year old men who are bitter jump in and ruin it. Anyway, dumbo, I agree with everything you said. I don't think a hetero epidemic is likely, but I just didnt want to say never. I agree that many in the gay community (and hetero) have become complacent as HIV has become more and more treatable and called a "chronic disease". I just think that saying it will absolutely never happen will breed even more complacency. I doubt it would reach epidemic proportions, but one more infection is one too many. Keep up the awesome posts.
"Paramedic vs. Med Student with a bachelors and masters degree...you decide "
Read this closely. Then go away. thanks.
Read this closely. Then go away. thanks.
Fair enough. I disagree though for several reasons the 2 main ones being,
1. If the heterosexual epidemic that was predicted at the height of the epidemic in North America (80's) were to have happened, it should have appeared in this poulation group before it appeared in gay men. Simply because the hetero population is much much larger in numbers. It did not, and it's not like the gay population were the only ones having sex.. Most people are very aware of HIV and use condoms so I disagree complacency will rule the day anytime in the future. If anything, complacency reigns in the gay community as the new fears are that condoms are not being used as alot of people now think HIV is curable or fully treatable. I have read several articles to this effect in populations where homosexuality is concentrated. Coupled with the fact that bathhouses still exist after being proven over and over again that these facilities are major spreaders of hiv.
2. HIV is hard to transmit via vaginal sex whether m/f or f/m because blood is not usually involved. HIV is a blood borne disease, a fragile disease that from what I have read does not cross mucous membrane easily unlike many other viruses. It also needs to find certain cells that are usually found deeper in the body and on top of that it needs lots of virus to infect. I have yet to see any health care professional say they have seen the spread to the hetero population. Sure it happens, mainly to women (unfortunately) who are the partners of either bisexual men, IV drug users, men who have been in prison, etc.
If the stats have not shown clear evidence of a hetero epidemic by now, then I highly doubt this will change. This is not endorsing not using condoms and practicing responsible sexual activities, but hopefully it opens the door for people to know and learn exactly where the bigger risks are in regards to chosen sexual activities such as receptive anal for example, whether male or female.
as I mentioned, I do not have medical background but I can read surveillance data and the data is consistent year over year in most geographical locations. The exception being, more and more women are being infected, and to break it down even further, a large percentage of those are African American women.
Anyway, it's good to have differences of opinions that can be debated with maturity. :)
1. If the heterosexual epidemic that was predicted at the height of the epidemic in North America (80's) were to have happened, it should have appeared in this poulation group before it appeared in gay men. Simply because the hetero population is much much larger in numbers. It did not, and it's not like the gay population were the only ones having sex.. Most people are very aware of HIV and use condoms so I disagree complacency will rule the day anytime in the future. If anything, complacency reigns in the gay community as the new fears are that condoms are not being used as alot of people now think HIV is curable or fully treatable. I have read several articles to this effect in populations where homosexuality is concentrated. Coupled with the fact that bathhouses still exist after being proven over and over again that these facilities are major spreaders of hiv.
2. HIV is hard to transmit via vaginal sex whether m/f or f/m because blood is not usually involved. HIV is a blood borne disease, a fragile disease that from what I have read does not cross mucous membrane easily unlike many other viruses. It also needs to find certain cells that are usually found deeper in the body and on top of that it needs lots of virus to infect. I have yet to see any health care professional say they have seen the spread to the hetero population. Sure it happens, mainly to women (unfortunately) who are the partners of either bisexual men, IV drug users, men who have been in prison, etc.
If the stats have not shown clear evidence of a hetero epidemic by now, then I highly doubt this will change. This is not endorsing not using condoms and practicing responsible sexual activities, but hopefully it opens the door for people to know and learn exactly where the bigger risks are in regards to chosen sexual activities such as receptive anal for example, whether male or female.
as I mentioned, I do not have medical background but I can read surveillance data and the data is consistent year over year in most geographical locations. The exception being, more and more women are being infected, and to break it down even further, a large percentage of those are African American women.
Anyway, it's good to have differences of opinions that can be debated with maturity. :)
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