soworried

Hello Doc

This page is a great help to calm nerves.
i am a 25 year old male.  I had unprotected sex with a female partner Dec. 21st and have felt terrible ever since...talk about a bummer during xmas....it has weighed on my mind very much as i am in a state of anxiety.  i did discharge within (inside) this woman over the course of the night.  it has now been 4 weeks since the encounter and have seen my doctor twice...he keeps telling me i have nothing to worry about...BUT I CANT SLEEP!  i do believe i had a small cut on my penis (not on the tip however) and the woman said that she was bleeding the next day.  i have noticed a swollen throat (tonsills), and have had some loose bowls (im hopinng due to anxiety) for 3 days as i have been extremely stressed out.  i also have 2 dots in the back of my tongue which the dr. says are my taste buds...i also developed a 1 whitish spot on the courner of my tongue, which the dr. feels is nothing of importance.  my stomach is forever rumbling as i am extremely nervous. To make matters worse...i have developed hemroids from the fear of possibly contacting hiv.  i purchased a thermometer today and have checked my temperture a million times (i have never been above 36.6) due note...i live in canada.  i have NO rashes on my body, but do have chappy lips as its cold outside.
please help!!!
and thank-you

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

In your comment below, you provide additional information to help me "make a proper diagnosis".  I never make a particular diagnosis.  I only assess the odds based on the information questioners provide; only personal evaluation by a qualified health care provider can make a diagnosis.

Your opening comments suggest you have read the forum.  If so, somehow you missed my answer.  The risk of infection from any particular episode of vaginal sex always is low.  You describe no symptoms of concern to me.  (Where you live makes no difference in your body temperature.  Did you somehow think fever is defined differently in Canada than elsewhere??)  Most important, you have seen your own doctor twice and he has reassured you.  If he believes you don't have HIV, that is my belief as well.

Your only problem is your anxiety over this event.  It is highly irrational.  I suggest you return to your doc, tell him you cannot get the possibility of HIV out of your mind despite all objective information, and that you are worried that it indicates a possible emotional disorder.

In the meantime, don't worry about it!  Good luck--  HHH, MD

[Bugz25]

me again...i want to give you as much info to make a proper diagnosis.  it was vaginal sex, and the cut was some-what old as it was healing, but after a shower the following day it was scabbing.  Also about my bowels, sometimes it is diaherrea (water), while other times it can be very soft.  im not sure if this is because of anxiety as i am forcing food down to maintain my weight.  one other thing, my throat is a little sore.
thanks doc

[worriedcrazy1234]

Have you talked to your partner and asked her of her status? This might help you, because she is almost definitely negative. Also, asking someone this can come off as offensive, so put it in a context that doesn't seem that way.

Anyways, all that you have to do is the math and take a look at HIV transmission studies. It is not an easy virus to pass, especially from femal to male. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Do something to keep yourself busy until you can go test.

Lastly, I don't want to miss quote Dr. HHH, but in his 30 years at his STD clinic he has never seen a heterosexual male come back positive, and most reported heterosexual transmissions were probably not truly heterosexual. Am I correct about this Dr. HHH?

[miguellopez09]

dude i cant believe what you just said."in his 30 years he hasnt seen a heterosexual transmission?is that true doctor?

[miguellopez09]

dude i cant believe what you just said."in his 30 years he hasnt seen a heterosexual transmission?is that true doctor?

[worriedcrazy1234]

Check out this thread:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV/messages/324.html

[Teak]

Hell no that isn't true. Hetrosexual persons are infected all the time. I know quite a few, some are friends, others I know from the clinic.

[Brian123]

You seem like someone who has been jaded.
Why are you perpetuating an irrational fear for someone when the risk was truly not there?
I have read many of your comments to other forum users on here and in the HIV Support forum....it seems to me that you live solely to cause an irrational fear of HIV for persons who are really not at risk.

B.

[xworriedx]

I agree.

[xworriedx]

Thanks for posting that link .....Very good read.

[broncos27]

Why cant you answer my question??  What do I have to do for you to answer my question?  I keep trying to start my own question but it wont let me.  Please help me out!

....I had the false positive, but then i took another one and it was neg.  It was at the 6 month mark and I have tested 5 times or so and they all have been neg.  Do i need to get another test or trust the second test.  please....

[Teak]

If you only think HIV is a gay disease then you are only fooling yourself. People that think that way are the ones that are saying it won't happen to me and spread the disease. Is a baby born with HIV considered gay? Is a person that has Hemophilia and HIV considered gay? Is a person that received an HIV infected infusion gay? Is a person that has received an infected tissue transplant gay? Are all IV drug users that were infected gay? You don

[xworriedx]

Thats not the point Teak, You know as well as I do Brian is not saying that.

[Teak]

Brian was quoting misinformation, was he or was he not? He's insuating that you have had to have a gay exposure to get infected which is far from the truth.

[xworriedx]

I dont see Brian quoting anyone in this thread, You must be mixing him up with someone else?

[Teak]

Read post C2

[worriedcrazy1234]

Teak,

Yes, it is possible to transmit via female to male, but extremely hard and not near as easy as one might think. I would be willing to bet your friend had multiple times in which he had sex with her or he is not telling to entire story. Another good example is that Ann over at aidsmeds.com was positive for a year and a half without knowing. He and her boyfriend had unprotected sex for that entire year and a half and he never got it.

Again I'm not saying it's impossible, just extremely unlikely and not worth freaking out about. You are more likely to die in your car on your way to work.

[xworriedx]

It was Confused that posted that information, also if you go read the link posted in C5 you will see he was only posting what Dr H had said in that thread.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Of course HIV is heterosexually transmitted to men and nowhere have I ever said this does not occur.  In responding to a particular situation I said "Despite working for 30 years in a busy STD clinic, I ... have never had a male patient who apparently acquired HIV by heterosexual exposure."  

I work in an STD clinic, not an HIV/AIDS clinic; in a city where >95% of all HIV infections occur in gay/bi men or injection drug users. And in the few heterosexually infected persons in my STD clinic, almost all are women.  So the statement is true in my experience, but not in many other clinics or patient groups.  The proper take-home message was that female-to-male heterosexual transmission is uncommon, not that it doesn't occur.  Further, in the context of the question, I was referring to single exposures.  If I had thought more carefully about it, I might have said "...who reported only one high-risk heterosexual exposure and became positive as a result".

In other words, very statement I make in response to any question on this forum (or the STD forum) should be interpreted only in the context of that particular thread.  

All of this is a thread jump of borderline relevance to the original question.  If bugz25 has an additional comment or question, fine.  Otherwise this thread is over and I will delete further comments.  Take it over to the HIV support forum if the others want to continue the discussion.

[anotherdummy]

" >95% of all HIV infections occur in gay/bi men or injection drug users"

The clinics in my geographic area say the same thing.  Closer to 100% though.  And they also say that hetero infection is primarily among women as well.

[Bugz25]

hey Doc
im jus curious if my anxiety could cause such an upset stomach?