start the discussion of safe sex

i have spend almost a day to read the postings which matches to my explosure....

based on the old  postings here,i summarize something  ,  i had learnt here,  rubbing genital of women or men the explosure is known to be frottage, and its not a risk for hiv but still it risk for some form of sti , like herpes, syphills, warts.

my explosures starts in a health center (spa)  in manila, were i was given a full body oil massage (olive oil)  and the girl gave me a oral sex ( covered) , vaginal (covered).. before this both on the bed to arouse each other with naked hugging im not protected, due to foreplay her vaginal was wet, what if my penis also had pre-***, if each other into contact our risk...now in a very headache situation.

I have seen a lot of people  to advice here, i consulted a gp, his opinion is not a risk...need your understandings..

[uncleareddoubts]

anyone there to suggest..................extreme stress, meworried, xhost,mike,lizzie,lovely lady, teak

[amaravatiboy]

As long as you were covered, No Risk.

[diver58]

Anything other than unprotected vaginal or anal sex comes under the category of very low risk (BJ performers) and no risk behaviors. Looking at this yardstick, your risk was almost non existent. Mutual contact of genitals without penetration involved, is no risk. Condoms are good to protect you from HIV and other STD's, but bear in mind, they are not 100% perfect and very occasionally may fail.

[astroidleo]

what do you mean by "not 100% perfect, very occasionally may fail" ?
do you mean that even if they are properly worn and do not tear / slip they can fail?

[ExtremeStress]

HIV cannot penetrate latex condoms, hence doctors use latex gloves. they are completely protective until, like you said, they tear. i am sure that is what diver58 was referring to as far as failure.

[ExtremeStress]

oh yeah! frottage is considered no risk by both the doctors on this forum and hiv specialist from san francisco. other stds, like you said, can occur.

[astroidleo]

OK..
so essentially, if the condom did not break or slip one is safe..Right?
am just under a little stress because of this condom effectiveness issue..

[ExtremeStress]

you are safe from HIV if the latex condom did not break.

[astroidleo]

No it did not break, I checked it by filling it with water - No leak.

one more thing - After removing the condom, i cleaned my penis with water, is there a risk that way?
like while removing condom, my hand gets hiv on it(from the condom) which is then deposited on the exposed penis while i touch penis while washing with water?

please explain

[Teak]

HIV does not stay infectious outside it's host. You did not have a risk. Move on.

[astroidleo]

Believe me I am trying to forget this and move on..but simply cant..
each day i tell myself no more internet for HIV, and then the first thing that i do after turning on the PC is hiv, medhelp etc..

Its been 231 hrs since the incident.. i cant even test at this moment  ( for peace )
I know you might scold me for thinking of testing but thats the only way i can STOP thinking of hiv.

Sorry teak!

[diver58]

Yes ES, you rightly understood. Proper care in storage, handling and usage, is the key to fail-safe performance of the latex. This is our own stupidity causing this thin, yet highly strong and reliable barrier.

[Naseeb]

I think the same way, I tell myself no more internet searching and in the morning first thing I do is come on this forum, I need to stop doing that.
Another thing, like every one else said you don't need testing. But, if you do prefer to test, I am afraid you might have fear saying to yourself what if testing is not conclusive enough? And all the other thoughts will raise. Rather, forget about it and move. There are very few people who actually do worry after having protected sex. To my knowledge, my friends been with multiple partners and used protection. They never bothered about HIV. Think about it, do all the people in world go there and get tested after one or multiple incident of protected sex? No. Key is, get tested but yearly, that is only if you are sexually active with like five to ten different partners a year. But, one encounter is not risk specially if it's protected.

[diver58]

Yes ! Yearly test is usually recommended for sexually active people, frequently changing their partners and this recommendation remains valid regardless of mode of sex adopted, protected or unprotected. Some doctors do not think that testing is necessary after a single event of unprotected sex, with someone not from a high risk group, like bisexuals or Injection Drug Users.

Yearly test and "sucking waiting time" is the risk, sexually active (outside their committed relationship) people have to take and live with.

[Naseeb]

yea, that's the thing. I don't know how those people who are in commited relationship lives their regular day to day life? Call me paraniod, but do they totally trust each other to go out and get tested every year? I mean, we know there are many males/females who cheat outside of their commited relationships. Just want to get the general view.
For example, this friend of mine who has been with this girl for five years but he haven't even tested for a STD since last five years. And all the times he is doing it unprotected, he says he don't feel anything with rubbers.

[diver58]

If both were together for the last 5 years, and remained mutually committed, then unprotected sex is not a risk. Care is required when you are not aware of his/her status and do not know him/her thoroughly. One timers (one night stand) or commercial sex workers for instance,,, where either you MUST use protection or avoid them. Sometime one has to pay a very heavy price for the pleasure of "skin-to-skin" contact.

[Naseeb]

Correct, skin to skin STD is always a risk. But, one can certainly eliminate HIV with CSW or one night stands once protection was used. Either way, I am going to stay abstain until I get marry.

[diver58]

Shabash, Marhaba

[diver58]

Using the word "certainly" is bit too optimistic. Although condoms have reduced the rate of transmission very very significantly, but nothing in this world is 100% perfect. Protected sex remains protected in true sense until the latex remains intact. One should not rule out the very extremely low probability of its failure, if he is looking for an "absolute zero" risk situation for himself.

[Naseeb]

Virtually zero is the key here. Even condom companies write on their package that it's highly effective not 100%. Let's face it, they do break, that's why. I always use large condoms so it won't break, haha. I noticed that if someone will use small condoms then prob of breaking is higher. Just a thought.

[troggs]

I've read a few post were the guys problem was the condom was to big and came off during withdrawl (withdrawal). Wear your size whatever that is and i don't care to know...

[uncleareddoubts]

hi xtreme...i would like  to ask something...based on ur postings..some sti could occur in frottage..

why sti's are prone to frottage not hiv...pls give me some clear explanation..sorry to disturb...what if vaginal fluids contact outside during forplays..any risks..?