worried

Hi i am a male and i had an exposure that i am worried about i had protected sex at at massage parlour for a few minutes and then recieved unprotected oral sex.  After that was finished i had a massage and then had protected sex again with another woman...the worries i have are that i dont know if the first time i had sex if the condom remained in tact...Anyways i had an hiv antibody and std test done 5 weeks after exposure what are my risks of contracting hiv and how good are my test results everything came back negative i cant get the thought out of my head and i want to move on and continue with my regular partner please help...thank you

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum.

HIV test results always overrule exposure history, symptoms, and other considerations, as long as testing is doen sufficiently long after exposure.  The large majority (95% or more) of newly infected people have positive HIV tests by 5 weeks, so you can be very confident you didn't catch HIV.  (If your HIV test was "4th generation" or "combo" test for both antibody and p24 antigen, then it was 100% reliable.)

In any case, you had a low risk exposure for HIV.  It is very unlikely your partner had HIV, and even if she did, the chance of catching it during a single exposure like you describe is very, very low.  Scan any 10 threads at random and you'll see lots of discussion about the reasons I say this.

As for other STDs, the combination of condom use (it probably was properly used and didn't break, despite your anxiety about it), oral sex, no symptoms, and your negative tests make it extremely unlikely you have any STD.  However, you don't say exactly what tests were done.  I can comment further if you will provide that information.  But in the meantime, you should not be at all worried.

Regards--  HHH, MD

[worriedtexas]

it has been approximately 11 weeks since the incident and currently i have a sore bump on my tongue and irritation inside my mouth on my upper cheak...i have also had itchy red bumps appear on one of my butt cheaks that reoccured for around a few weeks i cant get the thought of hiv contraction out of my head

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

These symtpoms do not even hint at HIV infection or any other STD.  They have nothing to do with the sexual encounter in the massage parlor.

As I said above, if your HIV test was not a combo test and you want 100% reassurance, have another HIV test at this time.  You can be sure it will remain negative and that you didn't catch HIV.  Try to stop worrying about it.

[worriedtexas]

so with the negative hiv test and negative herpes gon/clam, syphillus, and hep test would you say i am in the clear and can continue with my regular life and regular sex with my wife?  the test was at 5 weeks i want to know my odds of contracting hiv thats the main thing im worried about and i cant get it out of my head it was a regular hiv 1/2 antibody test

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

That you "can't get it out of my head" is not a problem I can solve.  I have told you the facts; how you integrate them into your consciousness in a way that will resolve your anxiety is up to you.

If I were in your situation, I would continue unprotected sex with my wife, with no worry of infecting her with HIV or anything else.  In fact, based on the exposure you describe I never would have stopped having sex with her and would not have been tested for HIV or STDs.

Get retested if it will make you feel better.  It isn't normal to remain so anxious in the face of such strong scientific evidence and reasoned reassurance.  if you continue to not be able to get your HIV/STD fears "out of my head", professional counseling probably is in order.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

That's all for this thread.  Try to accept the reassurance and move on.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

If you continue to post anxiety driven additional questions that reveal that you will not or cannot accept the advice you have had -- like the ones I deleted -- the entire thread will be deleted. Re-read my comment about professional mental health services -- for which online forums are not a substitute.