Does anyone deal with a spouse who suffered a TBI?

My husband was hit by a 3x DUI driver.  Suffered a closed head TBI & it has been almost 4 years & he still suffers from mood swings or "light switch moods".  Very difficult to deal with & not react when he has these mood swings.  Does anyone have any suggestions that has helped them through this? Thanks so much.

[thirdeye33]

Hi

I got a closed head TBI in a car accident 14 months ago. I only had a doctor realize it after 7 months. I'm only now getting car insurance to approve Neurofeedback. I had to see a Neuropsychologist to really get any answers. He says the neurofeedback will help with my memory, attention and cognitive based issues. I finally see him in a week and I'll find out if that or what he can do to help me with my mood swings, depression, noise and light sensitivity. I hate medications, but I finally caved and started on an anti-depressant. I've been on it for 4 months and has helped a lot. I still drive my husband nuts w/ my outbursts/mood changes. I can tell you that I can't control it, I try so hard. I know when I've been mean, but sometimes I don't even realize my tone in my voice or how hurtful I've been. When I do, I'm then filled w/ anxiety about what I did and then I'm even more emotional. Did he have any other lasting injuries? I have a neck/back injury and because it can be so painful at times and my sleep is horrible, it only makes my mood worse. I loved to know what, if any, other symptoms he has? I struggle to find anyone who has had a mild TBI/ Post Concussion Syndrome. A major issue I have is that I can't control my crying when I talk to people sometimes....it's terrible. I guess I've been told that is related to the frontal lobes. I also miss words when I write(I'll be checking this before I click it..lol) I really want to know if another mild tbi person has that issue. It's a weird thing.

I know it's frustrating, keep trying to be patient. I've been married for 10yrs, but this is the first year we talked about a separation. That only made my anxiety worse. We are ok now, but every day is a struggle for him, I just keep telling him...I'm sorry, it's not me and let me know in a kind/sensitive way, when I've hurt him or someone else. I know it sounds crazy to be sensitive to us, when we've been hurtful to you. I know for at least me, I am just super sensitive and anxious. Hope this helps!

Take care,
K

[keekee21]

Thanks for your input.  I'm sorry you are going through this. It is challenging to say the least. He has had 2 major surgeries, most of his back is rodded. He cannot work any more, he has no filter. Still the huge scar of 8.5 inches has stabbing pains. He had over 250 sutures to close the head wound & 17 staples. Not to mention so many other doctors, because they could not do surgery & put him under anesthesia the first year & a half. He underwent for the pain a CT guided nerve root block & ablation-27 of them. The pain pills didn't work & he honestly is lucky to be alive, having coded twice. He has loss of long-term & short-term memory, tremors of the hands (so we never eat out), & the light switch mood effect (you never know what that is going to happen). He never even took Tylenol for a headache & is on all these medications, like 9 now. He doesn't have the crying, he is just quiet & cannot tolerate noise at all. We have been married 33-34 years. Terrible to see someone you love go through this. I hope that your spouse will understand what you are dealing with. My prayers are with you.

[ku111]

I know this is not quite the same but my 12 yr son had a demyelinating brain and spine event 1 1/2 years ago.  No one would listen and well, the damage is what it is.  A brain injury is so complex.  I am soooo very thankful we still have him and I'll take him any way I can get him but everything changed.  He is not the same child and have been told he never will be.  His emotions absolutely go over the top some days.  Sometimes it's crying, yelling, won't listen to reason, blaming etc...  I used to just sit and cry but the dr. explained he can't control his emotions at times and it just triggers.  The only thing I have found to help is distraction.  We do something he really likes, drive around, feed ducks, watch funny movies, get ice cream but mainly change the environment for a little bit.  Seems to make things go away faster.  I can only imagine how much things have changed for your husband also.  I try to understand the anger, confusion and grief.  It is hard some days.  He doesn't really remember doing it and sometimes gets mad over things that never happened.  Another thing that has been amazing is his NOOK.  He reads and plays cards/games that is distracting and helps.  I realize there is a age difference and different brain injury but you know your husband and what might distract him.  I am really sorry this has happened.  We never know what the mood is going to be or when it will shift quickly either.  I get emotionally wore out.  The Neuro has suggested a Neuropsych consult to see if there is anything they can do.  

[CHEY1020]

I NEED HELP MY HUSBAND HAS A SEVERE TBI HE DRINKS ALOT OF ALCOHOL SMOKES POT AND HE IS OUT OF CONTROL I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE HE HAS THREATEND SUICIDE AND GETS ANGRY WITH ME I AM SO UPSET AND DONT KNOW WHERE TO TURN WE ARE TRYING TO GET SSI AND HELP WITH SEEING A DOCTOR TO HELP HIM GET TREATMENT BUT WITH NO INSURANCE ITS IMPOSSIBLOE TO BE SEEN HE WAS BAKER ACTED AND THEY LET HIM GO IN 12 HOURS AND SAID HE WAS OK BASICALLY. CAN ANYONE HELP PLEASE WE LIVE IN FLORIDA NEAR DAYTONA