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Brother & Heart Disease
Hi,....wanted to get some input from the forum.
My family has CAD and rythym issues on both sides of the family, including SCD. I have early onset CAD & small vessel disease, and have PVCs, PACs, that run 2-4 in a row. I take alot of meds to control lipids, bp, rythym, etc. For me, these rythym problems are of concern, I don't have a structurally normal heart.
My cardiologists have discussed with me the need for my brother to be thoroughly checked out. He is healthy, and has not exhbited any symptoms--at dinner with my dad and me, he said he had a skip. He has been totally resistant to getting checked out--even a cholesterol panel. I think he's more scared than anything. He described a PVC or PAC (mine are very powerful and painful)...his wasn't like that. He said it felt like he was going to faint.
Having gone through tons of heart tests and all the stuff with the disease (and the loss of my mother to CAD and SCD), my dad and me both looked at each other. We discussed with him why he needs to get checked.
Anyone have some advice how I can get him to go--of course we'd go along with him for any tests. I think he's worried they will find something (in our family tree, most likely they will--that could be his fear, understandibly so).
My family has CAD and rythym issues on both sides of the family, including SCD. I have early onset CAD & small vessel disease, and have PVCs, PACs, that run 2-4 in a row. I take alot of meds to control lipids, bp, rythym, etc. For me, these rythym problems are of concern, I don't have a structurally normal heart.
My cardiologists have discussed with me the need for my brother to be thoroughly checked out. He is healthy, and has not exhbited any symptoms--at dinner with my dad and me, he said he had a skip. He has been totally resistant to getting checked out--even a cholesterol panel. I think he's more scared than anything. He described a PVC or PAC (mine are very powerful and painful)...his wasn't like that. He said it felt like he was going to faint.
Having gone through tons of heart tests and all the stuff with the disease (and the loss of my mother to CAD and SCD), my dad and me both looked at each other. We discussed with him why he needs to get checked.
Anyone have some advice how I can get him to go--of course we'd go along with him for any tests. I think he's worried they will find something (in our family tree, most likely they will--that could be his fear, understandibly so).
i wish there was some kind of formula for handling these situations that all of us could share, it would make life much less stressful.. Your brother is lucky to have someone who cares so much about his health.
Thanks so much for your advice guys...I very much so appreciate it. My brother eats healthy, and does exercise. He does have a rather high stress position which raises the bar too. Any changes in life would be minor, like medication or unless testing revealed something congenital.
It does make me worry. I was lucky that my docs found my lipid problems early at 18--I was on Lipitor for 10 years until my CAD was found at 28. Even on meds, my CAD grew at a fast rate. Now it's relatively stable with Crestor & Zetia. I see my cardiologist (great guy) soon, and my dad and I will talk with him--maybe he can help us along.
It does make me worry. I was lucky that my docs found my lipid problems early at 18--I was on Lipitor for 10 years until my CAD was found at 28. Even on meds, my CAD grew at a fast rate. Now it's relatively stable with Crestor & Zetia. I see my cardiologist (great guy) soon, and my dad and I will talk with him--maybe he can help us along.
I dread appointments for that reason.
Maybe tell him what I told myself. Going to the appointment isn't going to make something appear, it's only going to make you aware if something is going on so you can handle it, work on it or take steps fix it and prevent further problems.
While ignorance can be bliss, ignorance of one's own health status never stays blissful. My grandfather is a great example. He had chest pain and went to an ER in Nevada. They made him wait. He didn't like to wait. He left. He caught a plane home the next day (to Pennsylvania). The hospital in Nevada was frantically calling my grandmother with the test results (elevated enzymes) and said he was probably having a heart attack and needed to be in a hospital. When he returned home, he went to another ER. When they suggested a catherization, he refused because of potential risks. He signed himself out and called my grandmother to get him. He was dead before she got there.
Had he stayed in the hospital in Nevada, he would have received treatment 3 days sooner and would probably be alive. But not if he refused the catherization, which he probably would have.
He was 55. His sons, sick far earlier, have lived longer already. They knew not to take it lightly. They caught their diseases sooner. Some just went for testing, even though they did not have symptoms yet. One of them, since he went very early, is being managed real well just on statin therapy.
Long point here is that, while hearing unpleasant news about health sucks, not knowing doesn't mean it doesn't still exist.
Seeing the doctor puts your brother in control of the problem, instead of the problem being in control of him.
Maybe tell him what I told myself. Going to the appointment isn't going to make something appear, it's only going to make you aware if something is going on so you can handle it, work on it or take steps fix it and prevent further problems.
While ignorance can be bliss, ignorance of one's own health status never stays blissful. My grandfather is a great example. He had chest pain and went to an ER in Nevada. They made him wait. He didn't like to wait. He left. He caught a plane home the next day (to Pennsylvania). The hospital in Nevada was frantically calling my grandmother with the test results (elevated enzymes) and said he was probably having a heart attack and needed to be in a hospital. When he returned home, he went to another ER. When they suggested a catherization, he refused because of potential risks. He signed himself out and called my grandmother to get him. He was dead before she got there.
Had he stayed in the hospital in Nevada, he would have received treatment 3 days sooner and would probably be alive. But not if he refused the catherization, which he probably would have.
He was 55. His sons, sick far earlier, have lived longer already. They knew not to take it lightly. They caught their diseases sooner. Some just went for testing, even though they did not have symptoms yet. One of them, since he went very early, is being managed real well just on statin therapy.
Long point here is that, while hearing unpleasant news about health sucks, not knowing doesn't mean it doesn't still exist.
Seeing the doctor puts your brother in control of the problem, instead of the problem being in control of him.
I understand your concern. My half brother had a severe heart attack three years ago (at age 61). He was down for 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived and ended up with severe brain damage. He died 6 months later in a nursing home. So I take this very seriously and know everyone that posts does also. We all know we're going to die, but there are worse things than dying. For me it makes each day more precious and filled with fear.
Thank you very much for your support. This stuff is the real deal for our family. It's not suspected stuff, but the known. My mom had a series of heart surgeries (she had a series of silent heart attacks for a few months before a massive one hit). I had to do CPR on her when she suddenly collapsed (RIP)...not fun. Both dad and bro have been with me for my hospital stays & the big tests. We can't say it's for the lack of knowing--it must be the "fear factor" which can be quite a wall.
I'm used to the stuff, and know when things aren't working right. Yep, I will have a few skips and it feels like my rythym changes, but I just change my thoughts and forget. For people that aren't as aware, it's pretty scary. Anything syncopatic in origin definitely needs to be checked. We have some goofy wiring that works normally most of the time, but when it goes haywire it's an issue (and you never have a monitor on when that happens).
I've used my tricks, and pressure won't work. I talked to my dad, and we're going to have to calmy reassure him to get checked. Our gp would be the best as he understands the case--especially how my heart disease follow's my mother's track, which presented quite atypically.
Thanks again.
I'm used to the stuff, and know when things aren't working right. Yep, I will have a few skips and it feels like my rythym changes, but I just change my thoughts and forget. For people that aren't as aware, it's pretty scary. Anything syncopatic in origin definitely needs to be checked. We have some goofy wiring that works normally most of the time, but when it goes haywire it's an issue (and you never have a monitor on when that happens).
I've used my tricks, and pressure won't work. I talked to my dad, and we're going to have to calmy reassure him to get checked. Our gp would be the best as he understands the case--especially how my heart disease follow's my mother's track, which presented quite atypically.
Thanks again.
This is so true.People who really have a high probability of serious illness often won't go near a doctor. That's because deep down they suspect they're sick and they don't want to hear their suspicions confirmed by the doctor.
Al you need to convince him. Perhaps you should consult with a counselor on the most effective way to get him to come to terms with this. Make him see that the earlier he is seen by the doctor the less damage he may wind up having in the long run( if inded he has any at all, let's all hope he has escaped the heredity, some people do).
Perhaps he's avoiding it because the lifestyle alterations he forsees will make him feel less himself?
Along the same line NO ONE in my father's family will go to the doctor until disease is very far progressed either. They have horrific propensities to CAD and SCD (both my father and his younger brother had fatal MI's in their early 40's).
Not to lay all the self-neglect on the paternal side, the maternal wasn't muvch better. My grandmother was a midwife in the country and worked with doctors all the time. She had a lump form on her lower leg and it grew to the size of a walnut before the family could pursuade her to see a doctor. Her own mother had died of stomach cancer. The doctor diagnosed her with bone cancer, removed much of the lump, but said it would be back within a year and it was. I won't tell you the gory details of what happened when it came back, but she passed away shortly thereafter. I never knew her because I was a baby then. They tell me that she kept two things in her sick bed, her Bible and me. If she had gone to a doctor much earlier, perhaps it would have bought her more time. Perhaps I would have heard her voice or been able recall her face.
Keep trying to get your brother to see reason. That's going to be hard I know. He has to be made to realize that he may be okay, and, if he's not, the earlier he intervenes the better it will be for him longterm.
Al you need to convince him. Perhaps you should consult with a counselor on the most effective way to get him to come to terms with this. Make him see that the earlier he is seen by the doctor the less damage he may wind up having in the long run( if inded he has any at all, let's all hope he has escaped the heredity, some people do).
Perhaps he's avoiding it because the lifestyle alterations he forsees will make him feel less himself?
Along the same line NO ONE in my father's family will go to the doctor until disease is very far progressed either. They have horrific propensities to CAD and SCD (both my father and his younger brother had fatal MI's in their early 40's).
Not to lay all the self-neglect on the paternal side, the maternal wasn't muvch better. My grandmother was a midwife in the country and worked with doctors all the time. She had a lump form on her lower leg and it grew to the size of a walnut before the family could pursuade her to see a doctor. Her own mother had died of stomach cancer. The doctor diagnosed her with bone cancer, removed much of the lump, but said it would be back within a year and it was. I won't tell you the gory details of what happened when it came back, but she passed away shortly thereafter. I never knew her because I was a baby then. They tell me that she kept two things in her sick bed, her Bible and me. If she had gone to a doctor much earlier, perhaps it would have bought her more time. Perhaps I would have heard her voice or been able recall her face.
Keep trying to get your brother to see reason. That's going to be hard I know. He has to be made to realize that he may be okay, and, if he's not, the earlier he intervenes the better it will be for him longterm.
I would ask him to do it for you and your dad, not for himself. Tell him it will make you all feel better and maybe then he will feel compelled to go. Good luck, God Bless.
im sure he understands hes at a high probability of a cardiac disorder, and is afraid, as the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss... I think the best way to coax him into the doctor would be to force him to face this in some capacity.. As long as he can believe that he might be ok, thats all the more reason not to go.. With the family history of scd, its hard to think he may not have already faced it, but as you know this is typical avoidance behavior.. I really hope you can get him to "see the light", but there really is no formula to rationalizing something like this with someone who may be sick.. i had a grandmother who was a nurse in an oncology practice, she found a lump in her breast and did nothing for years, she knew it was cancer and still did nothing, and it cost her her life fairly quickly... Why she wouldnt go to the doctor, we could never figure out, i wish we could ask her..
Good luck, do what you have to for your brother.. Family first.
Good luck, do what you have to for your brother.. Family first.
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