In denial?

I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy about 2 years ago. Because my ejection fraction is almost low average (46%), and my exercise tolerance is above average for my age, my cardiologist is not quite sure what's going on. I was put on coreg, but because my heart rate is already low, I had a hard time tolerating even the smallest doses (3.5mg sends my pulse into the forties). Currently I'm on 20mgs./day of alltace. The problem I'm experiencing, is that I flip flop back and forth between thinking I'm really okay, that my condition is athlete's heart (my cardiologist thinks this is a possibility), and then deciding it really is a problem. Some days when I feel crappy, I exercise and feel great doing it and it's my understanding that exercise should cause more fatigue if I'm struggling with the side effects of cardiomyopathy. I've also wondered if some of my symptoms are due to the depression that I've constantly battled since being diagnosed. I would just like to bring some closure to this whole situation. It seems that I am either in a continual state of denial or I'm so anxious/controlling about my condition that I'm mentally bringing a lot of this on myself.
I am such a weenie compared to many of you out there who struggle with more serious conditions. I applaud you for your ability to ignore your symptoms and make the most of your life. I find it very hard not to focus on the symptoms. Thanks for listening.  

[dnlh]

My question would be what kind of cardiomypathy were you diagnosed with? I have the hypertrophic kind and from what I understand it's not uncommon for us to have normal EF's. It is not uncommon to feel great for months at a time and then to have months of problems. I have found that it's best to find a specialist as the cardiologists do not know as much as we would like to think. Ofcourse keep your GP and your cardiologist, look for a spcialist as well. It very well may be athletes heart ot it could be cardiomyopathy.....some people with this never have any major problems and never need meds....some like me, are symptomatic and need alot. If you like post again, I may not know a whole lot but support in your situation is important. You are not a weenie,lol. I am newly diagnosed myself and right now I don't know what to think....I feel validated but so what........haha. I guess we all learn to deal differently, but my advice would be not to let this consume you. Live life but when you have symptoms go from there. The meds are a real challenge too, mine make me tired but I have to slow myself down so I won't drop so to speak.....apparently I'm a candidate for ICD. We will see. Do not ignore symptoms!!!!! Being proactive will keep you healthy.....I'll listen.

[sciman]

Idiopathic. Not sure what caused it. No previous heart attack and everything is structurally sound, just lazy (low ef).